Woggle Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Exactly. Why get married to begin with if you can ask such self indulged questions? I truly believe there are some people who get off on lying and betraying their spouse. I have overheard conversations between cheaters and the utter glee in their voices as they describe their cheating is just disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
whammy Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I totally agree...especially when it comes to women. I think after a certain number of years, woman care more about the rush, the spark, the butterflies, etc... of chasing new men and having secret interactions with them than they do about the years of connection, love, memories, commitment, etc... with their current partner. I know every one thinks its men who are the ones that are the players and cant commit (or stay committed) and all that but from my experiences, and studies/books that I have read, its woman who are MUCH worse in this aspect. Not only are they worse but they will crush everything in their path to get it...especially their poor sap husbands. and on top of that, i just read a new study, to back up something that I have always thought was true as well. Men are much more romantic than women. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I truly believe there are some people who get off on lying and betraying their spouse. I have overheard conversations between cheaters and the utter glee in their voices as they describe their cheating is just disgusting. I have witnessed this myself. And it is sickening to say the least. Where these people have ended up is less than a better place of where they began though..so I guess karma does exist. Most would NEVER admit that though..they have way too much pride to admit something as huge as infedility screwed up their lives! Oh well..at least some people are real! Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 and on top of that, i just read a new study, to back up something that I have always thought was true as well. Men are much more romantic than women. Huh?!?!?! Cooking cleaning doing laundry isnt romantic? WTF???? I ain't buying this dude roses anytime soon! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I have witnessed this myself. And it is sickening to say the least. Where these people have ended up is less than a better place of where they began though..so I guess karma does exist. Most would NEVER admit that though..they have way too much pride to admit something as huge as infedility screwed up their lives! Oh well..at least some people are real! Honestly I hate to say this but I do see this mentality more with women than with men. Female cheaters have this evilness where they feel no remorse whatsoever. Men cheat just as much but this pleasure in hurting their spouse who has done nothing wrong tends to be a mostly female thing. My ex was smug and defiant the entire time until she realized that the divorce would not be in her favor and then she quickly turned on the tears. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Honestly I hate to say this but I do see this mentality more with women than with men. Female cheaters have this evilness where they feel no remorse whatsoever. Men cheat just as much but this pleasure in hurting their spouse who has done nothing wrong tends to be a mostly female thing. My ex was smug and defiant the entire time until she realized that the divorce would not be in her favor and then she quickly turned on the tears. I hate to say it..but I tend to agree with this. Just check out the OW forum..I don't even call it the OM/OW forum because 99 percent of it is women posting on there. Whether it be the cheater themselves or the OW..they do seem less remorseful than the men I have read on here. Why is that? Maybe women need that validation? Competition? Who knows...I just find it degrading on both parts. How can you value something that is so undervalued to begin with? I don't understand the concept..never will. I'm not refering to all because I have read many remorseful ones on here as well..but nothing compared to the smug bitches with no care for anyone but themselves on here. Its sad. Much sadder for those kids that they are "supposedly" raising. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 What do people who judge care about? Other than their own righteousness? We could ask you the same question. Or other's wrong doing? Then what's the point of human interaction if one cannot criticize? Maybe there is a life beyond? Sorry, I'm worried about the here and now. Who cares about cheating, if not those people wrapped up in an already possesive way of thinking? Obviously from your posts you don't care if you destroyed your own marriage and hurt those around you. Would you be asking this question if you caught a nasty STD from your partner? Does forgiveness figure in? No and why should it? It's pointless. Do you care about feelings? Again we could ask you the same question. Just wondered. Me too. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I totally agree...especially when it comes to women. I think after a certain number of years, woman care more about the rush, the spark, the butterflies, etc... of chasing new men and having secret interactions with them than they do about the years of connection, love, memories, commitment, etc... with their current partner. I know every one thinks its men who are the ones that are the players and cant commit (or stay committed) and all that but from my experiences, and studies/books that I have read, its woman who are MUCH worse in this aspect. Not only are they worse but they will crush everything in their path to get it...especially their poor sap husbands. Agree totally. And be ready for the "problems" they have, yet when we ask them what's wrong they refuse to open their mouth, then cheat and say we never payed attention to their feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
wheelwright Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Why don't you answer these stupid questions through the eyes of your kids! I guess you answered the thread..your only sorry you got caught! Plain and simple! I do. That's exactly why i know already I don't have the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
wheelwright Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I totally agree...especially when it comes to women. I think after a certain number of years, woman care more about the rush, the spark, the butterflies, etc... of chasing new men and having secret interactions with them than they do about the years of connection, love, memories, commitment, etc... with their current partner. I know every one thinks its men who are the ones that are the players and cant commit (or stay committed) and all that but from my experiences, and studies/books that I have read, its woman who are MUCH worse in this aspect. Not only are they worse but they will crush everything in their path to get it...especially their poor sap husbands. On the whole, decent people question themselves, and women, just like everyone, search for love. Link to post Share on other sites
jlola Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Women and men do search for love. But if you find out it cannot be gained in the relationship you are in. There is NOONE stopping you from leaving. This is not some country where you will be stoned for divorce. You have rights in the U.S. and divorced women are not looked down upon. The only thing is most women who are in love with someone else, but stay with their husbands do so for SELFISH reasons. They do not want their lifestyle effected. If you were willing to leave your husband for other man, that means you were willing to disrupt childrens lives and let them live in a broken home. So because other man is not available you are going to sit there and use your husband financially and cry about it. File for divorce,Get child support. Work two jobs if you have to. Give your husband a chance to find love. WE ALL SEARCH FOR IT AND DESERVE IT!!! He may think he wants you now. But I'm sure if you leave he will realize after awhile you did him a favor. you seem to have mother and sister who are local and ex-husband help with the kids.can you not stay with mother and sister until you get back on your feet financially? Also you can get child support. But you would rather be supported by your husband and use him because it is easier than sacrifice. Yes, we all need love. But some of us are not proactive in getting it. Just great about playing martyr and feeling sorry they don't have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Women and men do search for love. But if you find out it cannot be gained in the relationship you are in. There is NOONE stopping you from leaving. This is not some country where you will be stoned for divorce. You have rights in the U.S. and divorced women are not looked down upon. The only thing is most women who are in love with someone else, but stay with their husbands do so for SELFISH reasons. They do not want their lifestyle effected. If you were willing to leave your husband for other man, that means you were willing to disrupt childrens lives and let them live in a broken home. So because other man is not available you are going to sit there and use your husband financially and cry about it. File for divorce,Get child support. Work two jobs if you have to. Give your husband a chance to find love. WE ALL SEARCH FOR IT AND DESERVE IT!!! He may think he wants you now. But I'm sure if you leave he will realize after awhile you did him a favor. you seem to have mother and sister who are local and ex-husband help with the kids.can you not stay with mother and sister until you get back on your feet financially? Also you can get child support. But you would rather be supported by your husband and use him because it is easier than sacrifice. Yes, we all need love. But some of us are not proactive in getting it. Just great about playing martyr and feeling sorry they don't have it. Why should a cheater need child support for a problem they caused? Link to post Share on other sites
jlola Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I am not saying to go for spousal support. Not saying child support woukd be to help take care of kids, but also did say if she had to take 2 jobs to survive so be it. Unless the children are going to live with their father,they should be provided child support. They did not cause the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I am not saying to go for spousal support. Not saying child support woukd be to help take care of kids, but also did say if she had to take 2 jobs to survive so be it. Unless the children are going to live with their father,they should be provided child support. They did not cause the problem. Cheaters need to get their own job instead of being clingy after they broke one of their vows. Why cheat, divorce and hurt the BS more by taking their money. Cheaters are irresponsible to take care of their kids. That's the problem today with some of these women. This is exactly what men need to watch out for. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Cheaters need to get their own job instead of being clingy after they broke one of their vows. Why cheat, divorce and hurt the BS more by taking their money. Cheaters are irresponsible to take care of their kids. That's the problem today with some of these women. This is exactly what men need to watch out for. Regardless, children are the innocent victims of their parent(s) actions. They need to be supported financially and emotionally by BOTH parents no matter what occurs in the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Regardless, children are the innocent victims of their parent(s) actions. They need to be supported financially and emotionally by BOTH parents no matter what occurs in the marriage. No it's not regardless. Cheaters lied to their own spouse and blood, and destroyed the family unit so there is no reason for them to have to hurt their spouse more by taking more money from them. Children can do just fine in a home with one parent. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 No it's not regardless. Cheaters lied to their own spouse and blood, and destroyed the family unit so there is no reason for them to have to hurt their spouse more by taking more money from them. Children can do just fine in a home with one parent. So you would actually choose to have the children's suffering continue through lack of financial support? Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 So you would actually choose to have the children's suffering continue through lack of financial support? It's not through a lack of financial support. You actually think that cheaters deserve money from their betrayed spouse after they cheated on them? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It's not through a lack of financial support. You actually think that cheaters deserve money from their betrayed spouse after they cheated on them? It's not about support for the "cheater", it's support for the children. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It's not about support for the "cheater", it's support for the children. If it's not support for the cheater then why do they need their money? If they want to support their family, divorce uncontested and leave their kids and betrayed spouse alone so they can heal. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 If it's not support for the cheater then why do they need their money? If they want to support their family, divorce uncontested and leave their kids and betrayed spouse alone so they can heal. The children may want (and be better off) to stay with the "cheater". In that case, do you think the other parent, ie the BS, should deny all financial responsibility for their children? Financial support to help feed, clothe, educate, keep warm,...... their children? Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 The children may want (and be better off) to stay with the "cheater". In that case, do you think the other parent, ie the BS, should deny all financial responsibility for their children? Financial support to help feed, clothe, educate, keep warm,...... their children? Why do you think the children might be better off with the cheater? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Why do you think the children might be better off with the cheater? As an example.... My father cheated and later married the OW (been together 30 years now). My brother and I had a choice of who to stay with and we actually both chose to stay with my father This was because he planned to stay in the same area so we could stay in the same school, keep friends etc whereas my mother wanted to move hundreds of miles away. In addition my mother's drink problem was escalating - and just to add, this problem started long before he had the affair. Neither my brother or I were up to dealing with her problem and our lives would have been hell if we had lived with her. So there you go - children better off staying with the cheating parent. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 As an example.... My father cheated and later married the OW (been together 30 years now). My brother and I had a choice of who to stay with and we actually both chose to stay with my father This was because he planned to stay in the same area so we could stay in the same school, keep friends etc whereas my mother wanted to move hundreds of miles away. In addition my mother's drink problem was escalating - and just to add, this problem started long before he had the affair. Neither my brother or I were up to dealing with her problem and our lives would have been hell if we had lived with her. So there you go - children better off staying with the cheating parent. Children are still not better off with a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Children are still not better off with a cheater. So I would have been better off staying with an alcoholic? Link to post Share on other sites
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