Miss Him So Much!

[calithin83]

my bf broke up with me on Thurs so its been 3 days since we havent talked....i thught i was doing fine but today when i drove wtih my friends to hollywood- a place where we would always hang out- i felt so unhappy- i smiled but my smile wasnt real..i miss him so much and i just dont know what to do..i actually blocked my number and called him cos i couldnt help it..but he didnt pick up...ugh i feel sad....3 years and 3 months together how can it just end this way???i still think of him...and i will FOREVER love him...but what about him??? he still has I+J in his buddylist and this gives me hope...u think he misses me?????? but if so he wouldnt have broken up..this sux alot...i dont think i can get over him EVER! this is too hard..and when i see him tues and Thurs in school i know my heart will break some more

[Arabess]

Broken hearts are like broken bones.....you have to give them time to reset and heal. It won't happen overnight. You are still in the first week.....and you've got a ways to go.

 

There are no cures or much of anything which will make you feel better. Just hang in there, cry when you feel like it and scream if you have to. One day....you'll get back to normal.

 

I know for sure.

[sinkerswim]

I know how you feel..

its been over a month since Ive seen my boyfriend.

We were together 8 years...

 

Right now, it feels like I am smothering. I have such a heavy heart.

Lump in my throat.

Feels like nothing will take away the pain, but him.

[Evanescence]

I felt the exact same way you do about 2 months ago. My ex (we were together 5 1/2 years) said he wanted a "break", then 2 weeks later he said we should "see other ppl", although when he called me a few days after that he still called it a break. 2 weeks ago i called him saying that i had some things i had to get off my chest, and thankfully he was willing to listen, as well was willing to answer some questions. It was then that I found out that he is actually seeing someone already.. well more than seeing, supposively they are "bf and gf". Whatever. Anyway, don't cling to hope! As hard as it is. Hope just keeps you where you are and does not let you progress. It makes you worse. Once i let go of hope that we were going to get back together, I got better almost instantly. Also, take some time to do things for yourself. Go get ur hair done, makeup done, manicure, go shopping for some new clothes, go exercise, hang out with friends. Keep yourself as busy as possible. But also, if you really do feel like just sitting at home crying for a good day, do it. Don't supress your emotions at all. The sooner you feel them, the sooner you'll move on with them. Remember, you can't control what is happening to you, but you can control how you deal with it!

 

It'll take time, but one day you'll say, "what the heck am I doing?" and you'll snap right out of it. It is the weirdest thing, but you have a lot of stages you need to go through first, so just hang in there and do what you have to do.

[calithin83]

yes thank you guys so much, well we talked and i can see how he really isnt worth it...i really just havent seen it cos my self esteem was so low..but slowly imma try to pick myself up..ive made up my mind that YES i did love him, and YES we did have a great relationship BUT we are both young- unexperienced kids who need to go sperate ways...i know it hurts cos it does but its worse if i keep holding on...imma try real hard to learn to love myself and be happy just hanging out with friends and being single..i know that one day ill meet someone else who will sweep me off my feet...im already making plans for this friday to hang out wtih friends and just be single....its a step by step progress but i guess i should start now then later...im TWENTY and i dont want to cry anymore for this guy.....hes just 1 out of many and even though he did steal my heart he also broke it..so my dreams can no longer be revolved around him, i dont want to think about him anymore but myself..its kinda like i need to be selfish for now...

[Samantha16]

Hi there. I'm new to this site but love it already. My boyfriend and I were going out for 3 years. Last week he broke up with me. And just like you, I've been fine for some reason. But there are those days when you're alone, where you just want to pick up the phone and call him.

 

But I don't call, because I know I'll get on the phone and cry and say all the things that wont get me anywhere with him, except make him annoyed. But I know you always think, 'if I just tell him my true feelings, how I need him so much, he'll understand and take me back.' No, it usually just makes things worse. It makes you completely vulnerable.

 

I don't know why I'm okay, I think I'll be okay until I hear that he has another girlfriend or is fooling around with someone. Because then, I'll know it's really over. Maybe im still in denile. It's hard because he's friends with some of the people i'm friends with. I haven't seen him yet though.

 

I think my main goal, and this should be yours too, is to think about myself and to TRY to have fun. I try not to be alone, so I don't start thinking about him. Plus, go out and flirt with guys. I know that they say you shouldn't fool around with anyone because it doesn't help you, but you don't have to fool around. For me, going out there and doing a little harmless flirting lets me know there's hope. He's NOT the only guy out there, although it seems like it right now.

 

So that's where I am in the breakup right now. I've had so many, I'm trying to skip the depression part for this one. Also, I said I don't want to call him (well I do, but I'm keeping strong) but I know eventually I will. He still has some of my stuff and I figure, in the past 3 years, we have shared so many intimate and wonderful moments. I've gotten to know him so well. He was my best friend, and the love of my life. I would love to have him stay in my life. He really is a good person.

 

I think I'll tell him exactly that. But I'll also admit that I need some time to heal before I can turn a lover into a friend. I don't think I can stand being friends with him and his future new girlfriend. You have to decide by how the breakup happened, and what he means to you before you can decide whether a friendship is a good idea. Or if it's better to let him go all together. Be strong, be real, but be mature and keep your dignity. This stuff gets tough, show how you can overcome it, and shine, because YOU are the most important factor. No him... YOU. Play it cool, no matter how much it hurts. Plus, making a big dramatic production only makes you feel like a fool later, especially when you're over him. Trust me, I've been there.

Take care, you're golden!!

[calithin83]

well my ex talked to me...cos we see eachother in school and in class so its hard to just ignore and forget..anyways he sais we arent bf and gf..which bugs me cos i still want to yet i dont cos i really feel that he dont deserve me anymore, hes really changed and im starting to feel off when im with him..hes not the sweetheart i fell in love with..hes just cold..distant and whatever with me..so in a way it kinda is frustrating to even be with him yet i still cant get over him..i wanna just ignore him and stop talking to him yet for some reason i cant..i really have lost hope in getting him to become sweet with me again, cos i dont think i can change him and hes like that cos he proably doesnt get that spark with me anymore...he sais that he wants to chase a girl not be chased by a girl..and he sais that i chase him! ugh...anyways he doesnt call me often, and we still kiss and hug..i jsut dont know..i really want to move on cos with or without him im still unhappy...he doesnt love me anymore..no doubt about that and now im starting to doubt that he even cares..why do guys change?? he loved me so much before and we had so much fun and sweet moments together..and BOOM from one moment to another hes a different person..i doubt i would have ever fallen in love with him if i met him the way he is acting now..he doesnt try to show me he cares, why do i even bother thinking about him? why cant i just be with someone else? why do i feel that all guys are this way and that ill never find a bond with anyone else???

[calithin83]

also my mom is telling me to just move ona nd get myself another bf, but thats easier said then done, i havent met any guy that i like or that i know thats into me..so well..ugh...mm...ugh! anyways do u think that my ex- or bf..dont even know what to call him anymore will ever realize what hes done if he does lose me?? he sais that if i did date soemone else that if im happy , he will be happty for me..thats so annoyiong to hear that..cos i wish he would get jealous..is he just being strong??anyways do u think that he would regret it one day if he saw me be with someoen else and know that i dont want him anymore???

 

cos i just think that hes taking me for granted cos he knows how much i care about him,im not gonna call him unless he calls me ..i need to be cold..but its hard..i dunno how to be cold...everytime he calls even my voice changes to happy sweet voice..i feel pathetic...i miss how he used to be with me..and how good we were together..doesnt he miss it?

[UCFKevin]

He might. Maybe not now but eventually.

 

You guys have no recovery time because you see each other and talk to each other a lot, so there's no way to really progress on your own and on his own, and that makes things very difficult.

 

BUT I have to say it sounds like you are making some progress, saying things like you need to be selfish and that he doesn't deserve you and that you wouldn't want to be with him if you met him as he is now. So that's definitely good. Just stick to it. Don't go all weak in the knees when he says, "Hey, nevermind, I want to be with you again," because a week later, he'll say, "Nevermind my nevermind, we're through."

[Evanescence]

Know what, at first I had no want to date again. Now I am getting excited. I've found that one of my friends is interested in me, and I know what he's like, and I've always kind of had a bit of interest in him, so who knows where it will go. But it gets kind of exciting when you finally find that someone has interest in you. Took about a month and a half before it started happening.. and before i was even open to it. It really helps you get over your ex though.

 

As far as him regretting it or whatever... he might. No guarantees. My ex just called me the other day and just went on forever about how he's so confused (he went and got himself another gf!). He says he doesn't know what he wants. He knows that he will end up with one of two girls (either me or his current gf, but how could he know that he wants to marry her already?). He says he doesn't want to go through this ever again. He then told me that now that he's been away from things, he has realized that he misses things a lot. He says he thinks of me all the time and wants to call me everyday (so far he's been calling me once every two weeks). Then he also said that if he realizes that i'm the one he wants, he will do anything and everything to get me back. So what the heck do i do?

 

If he ever does realize that he made a mistake (and he might not, so don't hope for it because it will only hold you back from moving on). Just try your best to go on without him. To me it was like getting over an addiction. Now I'm just use to him not being in my life and not calling me. Its just and adjustment you have to make. It will take time but you'll be fine in the end, if not better. I never thought it would happen, but i'm a better person than i once was, and it feels good! Just take this as a learning experience, and don't expect him to come back.