DavNY Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Hi, do you offer opinions to your grown children? Sometimes when I offer my opinion I feel like I'm mettling or interferring, given they are adults. I'd like some opinions from other parents who have grown children. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbles5 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Remember u are parent n they are ur children, so its ok if u give opnions but dont impose ur advice over them,they also need opinions sometimes. So its ok if u give ur opinions when needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 It varies contingent on the topic and ONLY if they ask my view point. Otherwise I maintain the mental attitude that I raised them right and they will ultimately do the right thing, and if they do make an error in judgment I refrain from any of the I told you so's, as its disrespecting to the relationship we spent years to nourish. Usually a small smile of lighthearted folly lets them know that sometimes Mamma knew best but they had to learn that lesson on their own. Ultimately they are growing so long as you allow them to be them.... Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I respond if they ask. But I ask a lot of questions to get them to think. I want them to find the answers on their own even if I am doing a little prompting. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Depends. My son is almost 22. I give my views on things. Many times it is because he has asked, but sometimes I give my views even without asking. I don't meddle in his life; but I do share my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
trinity1 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Depends. My son is almost 22. I give my views on things. Many times it is because he has asked, but sometimes I give my views even without asking. I don't meddle in his life; but I do share my thoughts. Well said. The above is true for me as well. My oldest is 26. Link to post Share on other sites
Tres Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Hi, do you offer opinions to your grown children? Sometimes when I offer my opinion I feel like I'm mettling or interferring, given they are adults. I'd like some opinions from other parents who have grown children. My kids hate when I offer my opinion unless they ask me for advice. But, it happens rare especially with parents who can not help giving their opinions. I guess kids feel controlled, judged by parents and obligated to please parents to follow their advice. In general, parents are already fortunate if kids simply inform parents about their plans and life. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Hi, do you offer opinions to your grown children? Sometimes when I offer my opinion I feel like I'm mettling or interferring, given they are adults. I'd like some opinions from other parents who have grown children. I don't think it is too bad a thing to offer opinions! Just be yourself! I offer my opinion if it relates directly to me in some way. For example, my eldest daughter (at 21) doesn't want to work at the moment. Hence, I have a lot to say about that because that is connected to me, greatly. Still, I would lean towards more practical tactics as well as offering my opinion. Such as inviting myself to go stay with her for a bit to 'help' her. Nothing like cramping their style to get them moving, lol! Regarding her personal life, I just tend to listen and react to emotional points rather than offer my opinion. We are very alike, so she knows what I would say (round about) anyway. One thing I have learned though is if you act as though you don't want to know (tactfully, of course) they want to tell you stuff. Well, this has been the case with our youngest boy who seems to be going through an emo phase of some sort still at nearly 19. I know EVERYTHING about his last two relationships and really, I was just minding my own business. One is best to react to the temperament of their child methinks more than their own version of events. Really, that's pretty useless but sometimes we have to have a bit of that thrown in the mix. Be yourself OP. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
alwaysagoodgirl Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi, do you offer opinions to your grown children? Sometimes when I offer my opinion I feel like I'm mettling or interferring, given they are adults. I'd like some opinions from other parents who have grown children. Do your children feel you mettle? My mother in law was a mettler!!! So I know the difference and try to keep on the good side of that line!! my children are all grown. over 21, living on their own. We talk daily, either calls,text or mail. Nothing is off limits. From relationship/sex, to dealing with an idiot at work.... We never have it all figured out, so keep the communication open. Sometimes If I know they may not be ready to talk about something that is bothering one of them, I will just remind them we are here any time of day or night. We are a very close family, even though hundreds of miles may separate us. (one child lives cross the country, for work) NEVER hesitate to offer support to a person in need. Especially your own blood. Yes, we raised them and they are all grown but being a parent is forever. Bottom line? If we feel one of our children is on a dangerous corse, we WILL NOT hesitate to step in and say "what exactly are you doing" ? They know our motives are driven by love. They are amazing adults but first they are my babies!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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