Bitter angry miserable people

[AngeletteX]

I saw a thread that had gone Off Topic and I didn’t want to threadjack, so here are my thoughts on this matter:

 

Perpetually bitter, angry, miserable people can only feel better when they are trying to make everybody else feel the same.

 

Or perhaps their joy stems from “thinking” they are making others feel bad. Or “hoping” their snide snotty comments will. Unfortunately sometimes they will succeed – especially on a forum like this, specifically designed for OW/OM but open to the public.

 

It has nothing to do with “morality issues”, like so many would like to claim.

 

It has everything to do with the fact that other people’s happy lives become a personal affront and an insult to their world-view, “How dare these people be happy when I’m not?”

 

So they spew their vitriol standing on their so-called moral soapboxes and shove their black and white thinking down other people’s throats (I may not be happy but I am VIRTUOUS) and shriek about how they can ‘post where they want’.

 

But I don’t think certain types of nastiness can be restricted to an anonymous internet forum. Whether they try to hide it or not, if it shows up here – it most likely permeates into every aspect of their lives.

 

So instead of creating a loving and joyful environment for themselves and others, these people work on creating hurt and misery – thinking if they “pass it on” somehow it’ll ease or end their own pain.

 

Whether this is done subconsciously or purposely the end result is the same. Surrounding yourself with Love begets love and surrounding yourself with Misery begets misery.

 

I know it’s hard but we should feel sorry for them.

[donnamaybe]

I think people who make long, bitter, angry, ranting threads about how bitter and angry everyone else is should, perhaps, take a long, hard look in the mirror.

 

All I know is that *shrug* I'm happy.

[herenow]

Or maybe when a person shares their experiences, good or bad, there is hope that it will help someone else. It may not help you to see the pain that an affair can cause, but that is real life and there are people here who appreciate reality.

 

Now, if you want to feel sorry for me, go ahead. I'm sure if I said that I felt sorry for you, you would consider it bashing from a bitter BW. But hey, go for it. Say what you want, you can't change the fact that affairs hurt people and what you see here is the pain that infidelity can cause.

[desertIslandCactus]

I think people who make long, bitter, angry, ranting threads about how bitter and angry everyone else is should, perhaps, take a long, hard look in the mirror.

 

All I know is that *shrug* I'm happy.

 

 

*shrug* Me too ...

[TigerCub]

Whether this is done subconsciously or purposely the end result is the same. Surrounding yourself with Love begets love and surrounding yourself with Misery begets misery.

 

I know it’s hard but we should feel sorry for them.

 

I understand how it can be annoying to see judgmental remarks, but maybe what's quoted above is all the more reason to have compassion for the people you do view as bitter and angry.

 

I went through a phase where I was angry at the world and I had the shortest fuse possible (its still pretty short - but not as much:D), and let me tell ya - its such a sad and terrible state to be when you feel filled with venom and don't quite know all the reasons for it and how to get rid of it.

 

SO the best thing to recognize is that people will always have differences of opinion (especially when it comes to the topics of OW/OM), and some have especially harsh views (due to their past experiences), but we all hurt, we all have our crosses to bare and we can either choose to let certain comments we don't agree with piss us off royally, or we can just chose to ignore them, and still treat everyone with compassion and respect.

 

hehe, I must have sounded like quite the afternoon special

but honestly, that's how I've been viewing things lately and its much healthier to relax and let some s**t go...

[donnamaybe]

I find it rather incongruous that a person who is forced to share her partner with another woman would feel sorry for folks who try to tell her she's doing herself a disservice.

[Feelin Frisky]

I think people who make long, bitter, angry, ranting threads about how bitter and angry everyone else is should, perhaps, take a long, hard look in the mirror.

 

All I know is that *shrug* I'm happy.

 

In another life it would definitely be you and me. I was thinking exactly what you said when I read the OP and there you were, Janey on the spot.

[donnamaybe]

In another life it would definitely be you and me. I was thinking exactly what you said when I read the OP and there you were, Janey on the spot.

Awww. I wuv you too, Fwisky!

[AngeletteX]

I think people who make long, bitter, angry, ranting threads about how bitter and angry everyone else is should, perhaps, take a long, hard look in the mirror.

 

All I know is that *shrug* I'm happy.

 

Not a rant, just an opinion. Funny you should see it as such.

 

And also, this thread wasn't directed at you - but since you were the first to jump on it: continuously posting on this forum, when you've obviously haven't had ANY experience (from what I've read) as either an OW/BS/WS makes me wonder if this isn't just a form of "entertainment" for you?

 

But SNIPING doesn’t sound like a very content person to me.

[donnamaybe]

Not a rant, just an opinion. Funny you should see it as such.

 

And also, this thread wasn't directed at you - but since you were the first to jump on it: continuously posting on this forum, when you've obviously haven't had ANY experience (from what I've read) as either an OW/BS/WS makes me wonder if this isn't just a form of "entertainment" for you?

 

But SNIPING doesn’t sound like a very content person to me.

I'm not the one who's been doing the sniping in this thread, FA.

 

My posts tend to lean toward trying to get people to see what they're giving up by giving their lives over to a lying, sneaky POS. I know some people aren't comfortable hearing the truth, so they lash out and call people names like "bitter, miserable, and angry."

[herenow]

Not a rant, just an opinion. Funny you should see it as such.

 

And also, this thread wasn't directed at you - but since you were the first to jump on it: continuously posting on this forum, when you've obviously haven't had ANY experience (from what I've read) as either an OW/BS/WS makes me wonder if this isn't just a form of "entertainment" for you?

 

But SNIPING doesn’t sound like a very content person to me.

 

And how are your continued insults any better than what you complain about? You are not exactly the poster child of uplifting remarks now are you?

 

Does calling people bitter, angry and miserable, then saying you feel sorry for them make you feel better about yourself?

[donnamaybe]

And how are your continued insults any better than what you complain about? You are not exactly the poster child of uplifting remarks now are you?

 

Does calling people bitter, angry and miserable, then saying you feel sorry for them make you feel better about yourself?

Oh, yeah. I'm picturing a gal sitting behind her keyboard, smilling in a self-satisfied sort of way, all the while banging away on the keys hoping to get as many digs in as possible. Now if THAT ain't the picture of happiness, I just don't know what is.

[herenow]

Oh, yeah. I'm picturing a gal sitting behind her keyboard, smilling in a self-satisfied sort of way, all the while banging away on the keys hoping to get as many digs in as possible. Now if THAT ain't the picture of happiness, I just don't know what is.

 

Yup and I do hope it helps you (AngeletteX) get rid of some of the "anger and bitterness" I see from you in the OP. That is one of the things I like about LS, it gives people an outlet for this stuff. I do indeed feel as sorry for you as you feel for me.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You don't necessarily have to have been in a relationship to be bitter. For example, I have a forum that is full of angry, lonely virgins who blame women and seem to get angry and bitter for absolutely no reason at all.

 

Oh yes, I've been there. And I will never go back there again.

 

Some people just love being miserable. Leave those people alone. It's the people who feel love, that are worthy of being loved.

[ladydesigner]

It's an open forum who cares *shrug* take what you want from it. I have gotten great advice here and I've gotten bashed. No need to take anything personally. JMO. I ignore comments that do not define me or my way of thinking. Some people need support, some need to vent, some need to bash, etc.

[SidLyon]

I saw a thread that had gone Off Topic and I didn’t want to threadjack, so here are my thoughts on this matter:

 

Perpetually bitter, angry, miserable people can only feel better when they are trying to make everybody else feel the same.

 

Or perhaps their joy stems from “thinking” they are making others feel bad. Or “hoping” their snide snotty comments will. Unfortunately sometimes they will succeed – especially on a forum like this, specifically designed for OW/OM but open to the public.

 

It has nothing to do with “morality issues”, like so many would like to claim.

 

It has everything to do with the fact that other people’s happy lives become a personal affront and an insult to their world-view, “How dare these people be happy when I’m not?”

 

So they spew their vitriol standing on their so-called moral soapboxes and shove their black and white thinking down other people’s throats (I may not be happy but I am VIRTUOUS) and shriek about how they can ‘post where they want’.

 

But I don’t think certain types of nastiness can be restricted to an anonymous internet forum. Whether they try to hide it or not, if it shows up here – it most likely permeates into every aspect of their lives.

 

So instead of creating a loving and joyful environment for themselves and others, these people work on creating hurt and misery – thinking if they “pass it on” somehow it’ll ease or end their own pain.

 

Whether this is done subconsciously or purposely the end result is the same. Surrounding yourself with Love begets love and surrounding yourself with Misery begets misery.

 

I know it’s hard but we should feel sorry for them.

 

This is one of those internally consistent posts that describes itself and its author.

 

Well done OP for showing such insight and self awareness.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Did somebody touch a nerve? I find that when that happens to me, it is a signal to look within myself.

 

Of course you are "fishing" for me, since I am the person who posted that folks who have miserable and unfulfilled lives are unlikely to bring much positive into any relationship - even if they were both single. Which the people in that thread are not.

 

 

 

It has nothing to do with “morality issues”, like so many would like to claim.

 

Sorry, but you can't speak for what other peoples "morality issues" are or aren't. You can speak for your own.

 

It has everything to do with the fact that other people’s happy lives become a personal affront and an insult to their world-view, “How dare these people be happy when I’m not?”

 

I understand that you are joyous and "unapologetic" in your role of secret companion of somebody's husband, but the people in that thread did not even claim to be happy.

 

They both complained bitterly about the past DECADES of their lives. Neither one had a single happy thing to say about their own lives. The man is vacillating while the woman has already left her husband in order to be with the waffling married man. Where's the happiness. Those people have been unhappy forever and are still.

 

So they spew their vitriol standing on their so-called moral soapboxes and shove their black and white thinking down other people’s throats (I may not be happy but I am VIRTUOUS)

 

Honestly, I am not a black and white thinker. I have come to believe after quite a few years of living and lots of experiences (quite a few of which I am not proud - but also not regretful, as they helped to form me) in some cases of the objective existence of "right" and "wrong." For example, I do believe that lying is "wrong." I believe that stealing and cheating (any kind of cheating) are "wrong." I have lied. I have stolen and cheated. I feel that I was wrong. I might do some of those things again in my life (I hope not, but humans are so fallible).

 

and shriek about how they can ‘post where they want’.

Shrieking? I don't think I have ever used a "shrieking" tone, though I do post wherever I feel moved to post - don't you?

 

So instead of creating a loving and joyful environment for themselves and others, these people work on creating hurt and misery – thinking if they “pass it on” somehow it’ll ease or end their own pain.

 

Well, with the above I can only surmise that you are describing yourself, and your gleeful way of rubbing the bliss you experience at the expense of someone's clueless spouse in the faces of hundreds of people who have been damaged by extramarital affairs - by their OWN destructive behavior, or that of their spouse or parent.

 

Whether this is done subconsciously or purposely the end result is the same. Surrounding yourself with Love begets love and surrounding yourself with Misery begets misery.

See? We AGREE! That is exactly what I was saying on the other thread: the miserable states of the OP and his mistress were not likely to translate into joy, love and happiness whether they dumped their spousal units and carried on as two, or stayed in wretched marriages.

 

Let me ask you this: Does dishonesty beget dishonesty, does untrustworthiness beget the same?

 

I know it's hard but we should feel sorry for them.

 

I don't particularly feel sorry for people who create and stay with their own unhappiness, though I do agree that it is sad.

[donnamaybe]

Of course you are "fishing" for me

Oh, honey! I didn't know you were - let's see - how did it go again? Oh, yeah. "Bitter, angry, and miserable." Is there anything I can do to help?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Oh, honey! I didn't know you were - let's see - how did it go again? Oh, yeah. "Bitter, angry, and miserable." Is there anything I can do to help?

 

Please, just feel sorry for me! :(

[desertIslandCactus]

Creating hurt and misery certainly is a nasty business.

 

Imagine what a joyful and loving enviroment we could create without lies, deceit, selfishness, greed, theft, cheating and hypocrisy.

 

I agree.

 

Members take time into trying to help OP's ..

 

A friend is someone who tries give guidance in the right direction .. not always what just sounds good.

 

When hurting others is involved incl children .. it isn't the right way. Participating with someone's spouse is wrong.

 

Most on here have been through it, and have witnessed the R from one or both perspectives.

 

Trying to save the OW time out of her life, while sparing another family.

[herenow]

Please, just feel sorry for me! :(

 

I will feel sorry for you if you will feel sorry for me. All this feeling is a bit overwhelming for me since I'm such a bitter, angry and miserable BW. Please AngeletteX, show me the way to happiness.

[Snowflower]

It has everything to do with the fact that other people’s happy lives become a personal affront and an insult to their world-view, “How dare these people be happy when I’m not?”

 

So they spew their vitriol standing on their so-called moral soapboxes and shove their black and white thinking down other people’s throats (I may not be happy but I am VIRTUOUS) and shriek about how they can ‘post where they want’.

 

But I don’t think certain types of nastiness can be restricted to an anonymous internet forum. Whether they try to hide it or not, if it shows up here – it most likely permeates into every aspect of their lives.

 

So instead of creating a loving and joyful environment for themselves and others, these people work on creating hurt and misery – thinking if they “pass it on” somehow it’ll ease or end their own pain.

 

Whether this is done subconsciously or purposely the end result is the same. Surrounding yourself with Love begets love and surrounding yourself with Misery begets misery.

 

I know it’s hard but we should feel sorry for them.

 

Yup, I know what you mean. If I posted about how successful my marital reconciliation was and that I am happy about how it turned out, a whole pack of bitter, angry, miserable people would swoop down on my posts like a pack of vultures.

 

It really is sad that people can't have more compassion.

[xxoo]

Not a rant, just an opinion. Funny you should see it as such.

 

Do you think the posts that you interpret as "bitter" and "angry" might similarly be "just an opinion"? Maybe you are seeing bitterness and anger where there is none.

[donnamaybe]

Yup, I know what you mean. If I posted about how successful my marital reconciliation was and that I am happy about how it turned out, a whole pack of bitter, angry, miserable people would swoop down on my posts like a pack of vultures.

 

It really is sad that people can't have more compassion.

Oooooooo, GOOD one!

[donnamaybe]

Do you think the posts that you interpret as "bitter" and "angry" might similarly be "just an opinion"? Maybe you are seeing bitterness and anger where there is none.

I think there is bitterness and anger, but the source is what is in question. I think the source from which these feelings emerge are actually centered on an MM who won't leave his wife.