need~sister with addiction n new born

[angelboots]

Hi, title should read: need help~sister with addiction and newborn baby

 

this is long but any advice would be so fantastic atm:

 

i was posting here for some advice and support while dealing with the news i just received from my 20yr old baby sister, that she has returned to IV drug use less then a month after the birth of her first born son.

 

A bit of background information, my sister and i are very close, I am 27 and she has just turned 20, we grew up in a very complicated family, my dad is addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol and gambling. He was physically very violent when we were younger but mellowed as we got older and very much introduced my sister and I into the drug culture.

 

My mum was also a weed smoker and incredibly, she emotionally detached towards me and my siblings when we hit puberty. Both my parents where teenage parents and they broke up when i was 11.

 

My mum kicked me out of home to go live with my dad when i was 12 after i was sexually abused in her care as she thought i was "too hard" to manage after i was "damaged"

 

dad would disappear for weeks on end with he's "women" leaving weed at home for me to sell so i could eat and pay the bills in hes absence, he also gave me my first cone at 12 because " i would try it one day anyway so it might as well be with him" and would encourage my friends to come and "party at hes house" so he could sell them weed and seem like a "cool" dad.

 

I rebelled and dabbled in drugs until i was 16 but thankfully i was always determined not to end up like my parents.. i was shipped from family member to family member every few months until i was 16, when i decided i could do a better job raising myself.

 

I had my first daughter at 17, my second at 18 and my third as a single mum at 21 when i left the abusive drug addicted man i had moved in with at 16.

 

I was and am determined to have a better life for my girls. I chose to focus my career on child protection and youth work because i want to help kids through the circumstances i grew up in. Its something I am incredibly passionate about and find incredibly rewarding.

 

Thankfully i did stop drug use at 16 with only a few slips in my early twenties and was able to Finnish my schooling with high distinctions and straight A's while juggling three baby girls on my own... but with that independence i also inherited my youngest sister who was following my foot steps. I basically was mothering her through out her teens and she means more to me then just my sister, she is my best friend and almost more like a daughter then a sister.

 

She isn't as strong as i was, she also has a significantly lower IQ then me, left school at 15 and crossed a line i never crossed and started using needles last year with her waster boyfriend.. around the time she started using she also found out she was pregnant.

 

She stopped using through out her pregnancy even though her partner continued to use (he is 22) and was determined not to use after my nephews birth. I was happy to attend he's birth at Christmas and thankfully he was born healthy and non drug Dependant but once i went home my sisters partner started putting the pressure on her to use with him again straight away and today she called me in tears admitting that she is using again and has been with out sleep for a week straight and was in withdrawals bad.

 

She wants to leave her partner and move in with me this coming week so I can link her in with services in my area and has asked me to promise her that if she doesn't show up that i use my mandatory reporting oath to report her to child protection so she can sign my nephew into my custody.

 

I am scared and sad and worried I cant help her. In the industry I do know I HAVE to report her if she puts baby at risk (which he is there are DV issues in the relationship when her partner is going through withdrawal)

 

I also know we as workers can only show these kids doors to access for help but we cant walk through them for them it comes down to there commitment.

 

I am unsure if i should allow her to move in with me and my children while she faces these demons or if i should direct her to the local youth refuge with baby,

 

i am unsure if i can handle the damage that would happen to our relationship if and when i do have to report her.

 

I dont think she realizes that as much as I love her i wont and cant bend the laws of my job to give her "privileges" with my nephew against child protection orders if i do agree to "foster" him, but being my nephew he will come here if he goes any where, he is very much loved and adored by me.

 

I love her and my nephew so much, i lost a lot of friends in my teens and early twentys to overdose and addiction, i watch kids lose there battle against drugs on a near to weekly basis and their struggles as they try to rebuild their lives

 

i dont want to lose her too.. she is the only family i am close to. I am lost and overwhelmed at this point and scared.

Edited January 21, 2011 by angelboots