Littlemadam Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Hi guys, I hope everyone is ok? I have posted on here previously about my now husband. Looking back it is scary how long this has been going on for. I just don't know if I am blowing this all out of proportion and will give as much on both sides of the story as I can. I feel so worn out, so exhausted, and last night when he was laying into me (emotionally, not physically) I felt numb to it, and it was like I could just here him but I wasn't really there. We have argued alot over the years. Some things down to me, some him. He has however got so much more angry. Eg he couldn't shut the freezer door once so screamed and cursed at it. An engine fault light came on on his car, and he laid into me about it and later apologised, and admitted the car issue stressed him out. My Vespa wouldn't start and we were trying to fiddle around with it, I asked him if he was twisting it, as I couldn't see and that was it. He started screaming at me again and told me to stop being so stupid, and he told me to f**k off. 4 days on and we are still not speaking, I cant walk on eggshells not knowing what thing will set him off next. I don't know if I love him anymore. All the problems we have encountered are solveable without getting angry, I have asked him so many times if it is worth his anger, and he blames me for making him get like this. Because I couldn't talk to him last night (I dont want to be anywhere near him), he resorted to calling me a pathetic b*tch and worthless and that I was a child. Why cant he see the reason I cant talk to him is because he is like that and it only makes it worse. this morning the same hurl of obscenities came again this morning because I wouldnt talk to him. We have spoken so many times, and he has in the past admitted he needs to sort his anger out. Nothing has ever come of this, and now he is blaming me for his outbursts, and there is no reasoning with him. What do you all think? He has never been physically violent, once he used his body as a battering ram to push me into a wall, and that was terrifying, but that was years ago now during a very heated argument which I probably did keep pushing him. thank you in advance, and hope to speak soon x Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Sounds like he has anger issues. You should get him some help before it escalates into something physical. You might want to look into a counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Littlemadam Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 Thank you, yes I do really think he is suffering with anger issues, I dont think I can get him help when he is blaming me for it all though Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Thank you, yes I do really think he is suffering with anger issues, I dont think I can get him help when he is blaming me for it all though Unfortunately, you're either going to have to drag him to therapy or remove yourself from his presence until he has agreed to go to therapy himself. Otherwise, you're allowing yourself to become his punching bag, figuratively right now, but we're not even sure if he's ever going to lift a finger in the future. I'd be more worried about your safety. See if you can find yourself another place to stay in until he gets himself some help. I would not advise you to live under the same house as him considering right now, he's a ticking time bomb. Link to post Share on other sites
carrie999 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Oh, LittleMadam, he is abusive. It may start as emotional abuse, and it may never get physical, but given how long you've been married, it likely will. Regardless, you need to move on, now. Get counseling. PM me if you'd like to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
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