notagame Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Yesterday I heard my wife on the phone talking nasty with someone else. I grilled the **** out of her after she tried to lie her way out of it. Told me she only ****ed him once but I didn't believe her and took her phone and looked at it. I find out she's been ****ing with him for almost a year. I broke her phone and told her off then left the house. All I gotta say is that I hate her and I feel so sick thinking about another male in her pussy. She's damaged to me now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 You will suffer the least rejection/heartache by dumping her now. Not all men do this: Some learn what happened to there marriage and improve it, some learn after much heartache that she was not worth it and some improve themselves for another relationship. If you have picked a dud now - learn how to improve your choice for later! Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Oh yes. Get back to your house now -legally you are abandoning her now. File divorce (collect the evidence) and let her move out. C'mon she has made her bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I am heavily considering dropping her. I'm so surprised she could do this to me. I don't have a lot of words that can explain how angry and sick I am. Link to post Share on other sites
moloko Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Yesterday I heard my wife on the phone talking nasty with someone else. I grilled the **** out of her after she tried to lie her way out of it. Told me she only ****ed him once but I didn't believe her and took her phone and looked at it. I find out she's been ****ing with him for almost a year. I broke her phone and told her off then left the house. All I gotta say is that I hate her and I feel so sick thinking about another male in her pussy. She's damaged to me now. this says it all right here. I think for your own sanity, and to get on to a better life, you need to contact a good attorney immediately. get rid of her. Link to post Share on other sites
moloko Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Oh yes. Get back to your house now -legally you are abandoning her now. he can abandon the house, it doesn't give up his share in the equity. If he divorces and she wants the house, she'll owe him half of the equity in it. Link to post Share on other sites
whammy Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 you just find out what every man finds out about women. Youll wade through all the bull crap and find out that she never really cared about you. men gain nothing from marriage. every woman is a con artist. Her thrills of other men out weight her loyalty to you...you made the mistake of staking your financial future to a woman's romantic interests....huge mistake. get out and live your life...your life should exactly the way you want it every second of every day... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 You need to get tested for STD's. If you have children then also check for paternity. See a good lawyer. What were the reasons she gave you and why was she willing to throw away the marriage? If the OM is married or has a girlfriend be sure to inform her also. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Sorry to hear this notagame. Been there... done that... got the t-shirt. After my EXs 2nd affair I was packed and out the door with my son in 96 hours. There was no negotiation like I did after her first affair. So here's the deal. 1) Picture a gastank. It was full of trust that you and your wife had filled up since you met her. Now that gastank is bone dry. There is no more trust in the tank. 2) The relationship you once had is over. You are now in a new relationship that is not the old relationship. The old relationship is gone forever. 3) You have to realize your wife is "off the reservation." She is now an "enemy of the state" who has conspired behind your back for nearly a year. 4) You have two paths. The first path is divorce. The second path is reconciliation with a ton of marriage counseling. Give yourself a few days to figure out which path you wish to take. Don't make any decisions now because you are in an emotional state. 5) It is time to shut down on your wife. No emotion, no "I love you's," She sleeps in another room. Be a stone wall towards her. She has to do all the heavy lifting if you chose to stay with her. She has to prove to you her remorse and willingness to fix things. If she so much as looks the wrong way, she is toast. Best of luck. I know how much this totally sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 You need to get tested for STD's. If you have children then also check for paternity. See a good lawyer. What were the reasons she gave you and why was she willing to throw away the marriage? If the OM is married or has a girlfriend be sure to inform her also. Brynap we have no children and I'm so freaking glad we don't. I really don't give a **** what the hell were her reasons. All I know is that she has destroyed our bond we had together for 7 years. I knew something was going on with her but I couldn't figure out what it was. I don't know how to stop this anger I have. I had to pull over while on my way to my friend's house to throw up thinking about those disgusting messages. If that piece of **** has someone he's cheating on I'll find out whenever I go back home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 Sorry to hear this notagame. Been there... done that... got the t-shirt. After my EXs 2nd affair I was packed and out the door with my son in 96 hours. There was no negotiation like I did after her first affair. So here's the deal. 1) Picture a gastank. It was full of trust that you and your wife had filled up since you met her. Now that gastank is bone dry. There is no more trust in the tank. 2) The relationship you once had is over. You are now in a new relationship that is not the old relationship. The old relationship is gone forever. 3) You have to realize your wife is "off the reservation." She is now an "enemy of the state" who has conspired behind your back for nearly a year. 4) You have two paths. The first path is divorce. The second path is reconciliation with a ton of marriage counseling. Give yourself a few days to figure out which path you wish to take. Don't make any decisions now because you are in an emotional state. 5) It is time to shut down on your wife. No emotion, no "I love you's," She sleeps in another room. Be a stone wall towards her. She has to do all the heavy lifting if you chose to stay with her. She has to prove to you her remorse and willingness to fix things. If she so much as looks the wrong way, she is toast. Best of luck. I know how much this totally sucks. Thanks dude. That's how I feel about the trust and other things. She has destroyed everything now and I don't know if I have the strength to be with her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Consider getting a baseball bat.... And using it to beat the hell out of a tree or dumpster. I plan to do this soon myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I've been in your spot before so I know that madness you feel. Like you want to knock out someone. Welcome to the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Dry her up---cancel all the joint credit cards---take your half of the marital assets, and put them in an acct, with only your name on it----go back home---do not abandon your home---toss her out Has she tried to contact you---or is it she just doesn't care---she certainly doesn't respect you, or her vows anymore Forget doing anything to OM----You did not take vows with OM----Your beef is with your wife---if you want someone to go after----do not ever forget that she had to participate in the A---to make it happen---OM, could have pushed till he was blue in the face---but there was no A--until your wife went along with it Do not participate in any lovey--dovey--if you do go home---she must be held accountable for murdering the mge., and completely disrespecting you---also remember she is a master of deceit, a liar, manipulator, and a conniver Your biggest enemy for a long while will be your subconscious---You will have to battle thru the visions, and never ending thoughts of her with the OM---just hang in there as best you can If you do D---the nuclear winter you are in--will go away much faster than if you stay with her, where you will constantly be triggered Do the best you can---the sun will come up manana Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 if you take her back, she'll lose even more respect for you and just do i again. noone respects someone who can be walked all ovewr, and they don't do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 A years a long time to be geting cheated on and lied to. No kids. Bail out. Sorry mate it's as simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 I came back home today. As soon as I came in the door her ass repeatedly asked me where I was and was worried. She's kept trying to apologize for lying to me and telling me she's sorry for cheating and she'll tell me everything I want to know. I told her I hate her with my guts and she's nothing but a lying bitch. Told her to she's the one that needs to leave the house. She cried saying how she doesn't want to leave me. I said I didn't want to hear her excuses just do what I say and leave me alone. I was so close to knocking her annoying ass to the floor. Very close. So I'm in the basement now waiting for her to pack as much **** as she can into her truck and bounce. I'm not even going to help her. If she gets stuck oh well she'll just have to call one of her girlfriends or something. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I came back home today. As soon as I came in the door her ass repeatedly asked me where I was and was worried. She is about as worried as she was when she was giving the OM multiple BJs for the past year. She's kept trying to apologize for lying to me and telling me she's sorry for cheating and she'll tell me everything I want to know. She's in damage control mode. Trying to paint herself as remorseful and sad. It's an act, and she's an actress.. who hid a 1-year affair from you. I told her I hate her with my guts and she's nothing but a lying bitch. Told her to she's the one that needs to leave the house. She cried saying how she doesn't want to leave me. Funny how these "feelings" didn't appear *until* she got caught. I said I didn't want to hear her excuses just do what I say and leave me alone. I was so close to knocking her annoying ass to the floor. Very close. No violence. Be the man and take the high road. So I'm in the basement now waiting for her to pack as much **** as she can into her truck and bounce. I'm not even going to help her. If she gets stuck oh well she'll just have to call one of her girlfriends or something. Exactly. Now she has to live the consequences of her year-long affair. Hell tell her to have the OM come over and help her pack. And if she does, let him come over and help her. Your beef is with her, not the OM. (plus you'll learn the identity of the guy to give to your lawyer.) Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 off then left the house. . You are kidding right? Go home... she needs to leave not you Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 A years a long time to be geting cheated on and lied to. No kids. Bail out. Sorry mate it's as simple as that. Yep, onlyif there were kids it would be worth a shot at saving. Link to post Share on other sites
nsphere Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 It's kind of weird to see the male perspective going through this kind of crap as many days I feel myself feeling the same way about men. It was disgusting for me to even want to touch him when I imagined him sleeping with the other woman. Reading the emails and pictures were like a knife in a my heart. I left and bought my own place but we remain civil as we have a son together and I want my son to have a his father in his life. It still hurts and I'm not at the point I want to even consider dating again. In a way, having a kid already is a relief as I don't have to worry about my biological clock ticking :-). Remember it's not your problem. There is nothing wrong with you. Her insecurities and issues that led her to this behavior are her problems, they don't need to be yours. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Remember it's not your problem. There is nothing wrong with you. Her insecurities and issues that led her to this behavior are her problems, they don't need to be yours. Absolutely true. What happened in the marriage is a 50-50 split. Both parties need to take ownership. But the affair is 100% notagame's wife's fault.. and only she can take ownership for that. Now the consequences of her actions are her's alone to deal with.. and if notagame decides to take her back then only he gets to make that call. ( his wife does not have that privilege.) Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I think you did the right thing. If the roles were reversed and you were screwing some other woman for over a year do you think she would accept your apology? She played you for a total fool but in the end she was the fool and lost everything. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenspoon Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 So I'm in the basement now waiting for her to pack as much **** as she can into her truck and bounce. I'm not even going to help her. If she gets stuck oh well she'll just have to call one of her girlfriends or something. Maybe she will call him to help her out like she did for over a year. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts