Binster Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Your doing the right thing here Just remember dont get physical no matter what. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 She's gone!!! I'm so glad she's gone. All of her clothes, brushes, lipstick all of that **** is gone!!!! I destroyed all of our pictures that we took together, even our wedding pictures. Broke the frames on them and everything. I threw away my ring too. I'm just so upset and I can't stop crying. Even Max my dog knew to stay the hell away from me. Left me a note on the couch. It said I'm sorry. Well I'm sorry I ever met her. Wish I never did. Been riding some piece of **** for practically a year. Can't believe her. She and that piece of scum belong together. She's probably going over to his house to cry on his shoulders. I don't care. I hope both of them rot in hell.:mad::mad: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She's gone!!! I'm so glad she's gone. All of her clothes, brushes, lipstick all of that **** is gone!!!! I destroyed all of our pictures that we took together, even our wedding pictures. Broke the frames on them and everything. I threw away my ring too. I'm just so upset and I can't stop crying. Even Max my dog knew to stay the hell away from me. Left me a note on the couch. It said I'm sorry. Well I'm sorry I ever met her. Wish I never did. Been riding some piece of **** for practically a year. Can't believe her. She and that piece of scum belong together. She's probably going over to his house to cry on his shoulders. I don't care. I hope both of them rot in hell.:mad::mad: Well take care of yourself. Don't do anything rash. Always take the high road. Prove to her and everyone else what a good man she lost. But be aware that she's not totally out of your life yet, so be prepared to deal with her again. Remember she is a consummate actress who fooled you for over a year, so be wary of anything she says of does from now on. Take some time and see a therapist to deal with the pain, it will be good to vent to a professional who will give you the tools to heal from this. Trust me I know the road you are heading down now. You will jump from anger, denial, sadness, like a pinball machine. Stay away from booze, it just makes you melancholy and weak. Seek out friends and family. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Take the advice you've been given and take the high road. It is for your own good. No one is saying you should like, accept or even tolerate her actions (and with her now gone, it seems you've managed to do that) but after you work through the initial stages of dealing with this, find some peace. My advice is to control your outlook. Don't let her actions control you from afar. Absorb this: if her pain and suffering brings you happiness, then what will her happiness bring you? Many have fallen into the trap of allowing bitterness to ruin their lives and future relationships. You can't allow this. Heal right- Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She's gone!!! I'm so glad she's gone. All of her clothes, brushes, lipstick all of that **** is gone!!!! I destroyed all of our pictures that we took together, even our wedding pictures. Broke the frames on them and everything. I threw away my ring too. I'm just so upset and I can't stop crying. Even Max my dog knew to stay the hell away from me. Left me a note on the couch. It said I'm sorry. Well I'm sorry I ever met her. Wish I never did. Been riding some piece of **** for practically a year. Can't believe her. She and that piece of scum belong together. She's probably going over to his house to cry on his shoulders. I don't care. I hope both of them rot in hell.:mad::mad: Hey man you did a very good thing. You did what a lot of men are afraid to do. We know the pain is extreme dude we know. Just make sure you keep your anger in check and don't let it control you. You have EVERY RIGHT to be angry but just don't destroy everything in your path. She's trying to damage control now and is scared because you're not putting up with her crap. Women like your wife and men like her OM are pathetic. Yelloshark is right: You will have to see her again a few more times if you plan on divorcing her (which looks like it from how you're handling this). Just eat right, sleep a lot, go to work, and work out with your dog. You'll be fine and when this is over you'll be even stronger, even though what you're doing now is very strong. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Hey notagame---I know you are pissed beyond belief, and doing what you need to do---BUT---in no way shape or form, do you become violent, or physically abusive to her----if this ends up in D. court---you need to show the judge that you were sqeaky clean, and as some one else suggested, you took the high road Best thing to do is just use a good hard 180 on her---let her live in the bed she has made for herself---she is gonna find out the grass is not greener---it is the color of shi*ty brown----life for her is going to become very hard----to bad, so sad, she brought it on herself Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Hey NotaGame I'm so sorry for what you're going through. But honestly, I applaud you for the way you handled things. You're experiencing a numbing amount of pain and you still kept your head on your shoulders and handled things like a real man. You didn't resort to violence, you didn't cave and buy her bulls**t story and you made her face her consequences. You are a very courageous guy because you showed that you have so much self respect and that you simply can't be with someone that's so dishonest, someone that wouldn't honor what you had together. I'm sure I'll never truly understand the kind of pain you're going through, but you guys don't have kids together, you are handling things the right way, I'm sure that after the D, you'll be so glad that you dealt with things the way you did. Stay strong, and be proud of yourself. I know that right now, that doesn't seem like much compared to all that you have to deal with, but believe me, one day you're gonna look back and be so proud of yourself for the way you dealt with things. I'm proud of you ***HUGS*** Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I do wish that you could have medically examined her knickers in order to prove adultery. This will be needed in the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
moloko Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I do wish that you could have medically examined her knickers in order to prove adultery. This will be needed in the divorce. infidelity doesn't have any bearing on divorce. it only gives one a reason to file. sucks, and thats not the way it should be, but it is. It doesn't even have bearing on custody. cheating doesn't factor in, even though most people realize it shows a pattern of lousy behavior of which you don't want your children exposed. Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 You've done real good here mate as someone else posted a lot of guys in your postion just cant do what has to be done. Try get yourself to the gym it's a good way to work off anger and tire yourself out. Go see a lawyer and get legal advise. And stay no contact with your ex. I think some of the guys on here can give you a basic idea as to where you stand legally, but get to a lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Thank you people. I canceled all the credit cards and moved half of my share from our joint account to my own personal account. I have also talked to a potential lawyer and he's a bulldog. He works specifically for men and his reputation proceeds him. But he's so damn expensive so It's going to take me a few days to retain him. We talked about what was going on with my situation and he gave me similar general advice you guys gave me and then some. Her cheating has clouded my mind. That's all I think about and I don't know if I can stop it. I've been to work today and went to Bally's for about 2 hours but I don't feel it helps. My friend is there for me and has always, but I feel alone now. Anyways thanks people. I must go now to try and actually sleep tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 This lawyer sounds great. Do not try to go cheap on this, you get what you pay for. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Yo thanks Binster. So tired and my head is pounding. I get bad headaches when I'm angry. Of course she would call and leave a few voicemails for me to hear. "Please baby I'm so sorry. Just hear me out.":rolleyes: ARGH!!! Can't wait until I get the money to leave her. She doesn't give a damn about this marriage well why the **** should I care. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Of course she would call and leave a few voicemails for me to hear. "Please baby I'm so sorry. Just hear me out.":rolleyes: ARGH!!! Can't wait until I get the money to leave her. She doesn't give a damn about this marriage well why the **** should I care. If she really cared about the marriage she would not have been banging another man for a year behind your back. Remember she is a consummate actress who hid her affair from you for a long time. But that doesn't mean you can't hear her out, it might be entertaining to hear her excuse. But regardless of what she may comeup with ultimately she cannot be trusted. She is only now remorseful because she got busted. Link to post Share on other sites
justsam Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I'm glad you chose not to put up with the bull**** a lot of others do. WAY TO GO! Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Stay no contact with her, get your dough together and let your lawyer do the talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Glad you're continuing to not put up with crap from her like all these other soft men do. Keep it going and you'll be fine. I agree with Binster. Once the dough is on the tray, stick it in the oven and wait until it's done. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notagame Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Ain't been here in a few days. I got tested and I have to wait about 2 weeks. Got the mula and I'm ready. On Monday he should be officially my lawyer and he will file the papers so trashy whore wife can receive them. Link to post Share on other sites
Guilt Ridden Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I am heavily considering dropping her. I'm so surprised she could do this to me. I don't have a lot of words that can explain how angry and sick I am. Give it time. You will have to wiegh out everything. Is she worth keeping? Is this the first time she has done this? Is she remorseful? None of these answers will come to you today...or tomorrow even for that matter. You will need time and lots of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenspoon Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Give it time. You will have to wiegh out everything. Is she worth keeping? Is this the first time she has done this? Is she remorseful? None of these answers will come to you today...or tomorrow even for that matter. You will need time and lots of it. For many, the pain, energy, and time is just not worth it in trying to get back with a cheating spouse. The trust is gone. The marriage is no longer sacred and exclusive. It's no longer special, but merely a relationship, like having a roommate with benefits. For many, it's better to just cut the lost immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Ain't been here in a few days. I got tested and I have to wait about 2 weeks. Got the mula and I'm ready. On Monday he should be officially my lawyer and he will file the papers so trashy whore wife can receive them. That is good news man. Hope your wife didn't give you any STDs because that will just add gas to the flame. Just keep focusing on yourself and you will be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneyAmazed Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 For many, the pain, energy, and time is just not worth it in trying to get back with a cheating spouse. The trust is gone. The marriage is no longer sacred and exclusive. It's no longer special, but merely a relationship, like having a roommate with benefits. For many, it's better to just cut the lost immediately. This is true, which is why I am a lucky girl to have a husband that thinks the pain, energy and time is worth it...that I'm worth it. Had I been married to someone else, I might not be so lucky. A betrayed spouse has the right to do whatever he can live with. That's the risk we take when we cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 This is true, which is why I am a lucky girl to have a husband that thinks the pain, energy and time is worth it...that I'm worth it. Had I been married to someone else, I might not be so lucky. A betrayed spouse has the right to do whatever he can live with. That's the risk we take when we cheat. While I'm mostly glad you and he are repairing things. But I have to say your last sentence almost sounds smug, like it was worth it to cheat because you wanted this final outcome? Am I misinterpreting? Link to post Share on other sites
JaneyAmazed Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 While I'm mostly glad you and he are repairing things. But I have to say your last sentence almost sounds smug, like it was worth it to cheat because you wanted this final outcome? Am I misinterpreting? SMUG? No way. I was just saying that I would have no right to expect my husband to give me a second chance because of the risk I took. PLEASE don't think I'm being smug at all. I've been humbled like never before. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneyAmazed Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I think maybe that little "embarrassment smiley" looked smug. I should have used or . That's the thing about the internet. People can misinterpret tone. I see how what I said could be misinterpreted now. Thanks so much asking about that. OH, and just to be sure you know...I regret cheating with all my heart. It was not worth breaking my husband down to tears. I would be heartless bitch if I felt that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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