goddessrivka Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 Ok here we go. My friends are of no help. I want my ex back more then anything in the world. I made all the mistakes until the end. I kissed another guy that I had history with and when I told him he forgave me and things went on then. I made all the mistakes. I was afraid to get hurt. I would start little fights. We broke up for good, I broke up with him. After 3 months I realized that he was all I wanted and needed. I talked to him and he felt the same way. We got back together on valentines day. Less then a month later, after I had become the happiest I had ever been. Doing everything right. Being the way I was just in love and happy. He calls me up on the phone and says he needs time off. Break up time off. Where we can see other people kind of time off. 3 days later he sent a girl to me at school with all the stuff I had left at his house. I went to talk to him. He told me that he had known even before he took time off that he wanted to end it. That the things that other people talked to him about (that he wouldn't explain further) made sense. Also that things didn't feel right and he had a bad feeling. So its over and I want him back more then anything. What can I do to get him back? I have never tried to get back someone who has dumped me before. Please I need some real help. My friends have had no ideas. They just say its his loss. But its not, the loss is mine. He is more then wonderful, he's everything I ever wanted and more that I never knew I could have and I cant just let him go without a fight. Please help me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 If the other person is no longer interested in the relationship.....there really isn't anything you CAN do. Once you've apologized for your wrong behavior and told them how you felt....all you can do is wait to see if time changes they way they are currently feeling. I wish there was another way.....but there isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goddessrivka Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 I need help to get him back. Not people telling me its not going to happen. I thank you for your honesty but I am not ready to give up on him... Anyway the reasons he broke up with me wasnt cuz of what I did. It wasnt even a reason... thats why i cant and wont give up on him... Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 There's a reason....you hit on it, but it just hasn't sunk in yet... Where we can see other people kind of time off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goddessrivka Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 what does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 Simple. He's breaking it off with you because he wants to see others. He may not have anyone specific in mind at the moment, but that doesn't matter. It's simply what he wants to do. What it means is you are up against some pretty steep odds right now. This might just be something he has to get out of his system, but I can't read his mind so I couldn't say this is the case for sure. The thing is, you can't not let him act on his impulse here (whether he actually does, or simply wants to explore the option - either way) or you will certainly drive him further away. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 If he said he wanted 'time off' of the relationship and was even considering it BEFORE the incident....there isn't anything you can do but give it to him. You have to wait for whatever period of time he needs without knowing if he is going to return to you or not. There is NOTHING you can do to get someone back until they are ready to come back. There is NO magic formula. Relationships can be full of heartbreak and regrets......and sometimes you just don't get who and what you want. As painful as it may be.....that's the reality of life. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 Well since you dont want to hear honesty from people.... ill be the one who bull****s you into a spiraling hole..... k..... drive by his house umpteen times a day..... call him on his cell, phone and leave pathetic messages oh and dont forget to cry for some reason some guys are suckers for a crying girl..... tell him how lost and lonely you are without him.... tell him your world is nothing with out him..... buy him all sorts of gadgets and gifts to buy him off.. surely he'll see your truly serious... and if this all doesnt work.... try sleeping with him one night and get yourself knocked up.......... that way he'll for sure be in your life for the next 18 years whether he likes it or not...... ......... now that i finished telling you what you wanted to hear....... im gonna tell you the truth... its over with.... there has been closure he doesnt want to date you any longer.... hes already closed the door now all you have to do is accept it and maybe try being a good friend to him.... its time to accept that he doesnt want to date you anymore and hes clearlt interested in other people.... go out and meet new people..... do stuff to get yoruself preoccupied......... but please do realize you cant force someone to change thier minds... all you can do is possibly change yourself to be a better person.... maybe that will show him you arent the girl you were before... the one he broke up with and doesnt want to see.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author goddessrivka Posted March 21, 2004 Author Share Posted March 21, 2004 fine all i wanted was some advice some things i can do to still be in his mind i dont need to be back with him id wait 100 yrs for him to come back to me, but he he ended it totaly we arent on any time off... thankyou for your honesty tho people... i do appreciate it tho it doent seem like it... im sorry to be so bitchy it hast even been 2 weeks yet.... Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 your not bitchy at all... your hurting and your confused... a broken heart will do that... sometimes we try to overlook the obvious simply because we dont want to accept the truth or what has been done.... our judgement gets clouded and we try to seek otehr methods to hopefully get back what we lost... sometimes we dont like what we hear when someone says move on he doesnt want to be with you... however when it finally does sink in... you'll see with clearer eyes and have a better outlook on what you should do to help yoruself move on... and trust me when i say sometimes we can give ourselves a kick in the ass, especially when being unsure enough to seek advice from others.... you just need a gentle push in the right direction... good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
white_angelbreath Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Well since you dont want to hear honesty from people.... ill be the one who bull****s you into a spiraling hole..... k..... drive by his house umpteen times a day..... call him on his cell, phone and leave pathetic messages oh and dont forget to cry for some reason some guys are suckers for a crying girl..... tell him how lost and lonely you are without him.... tell him your world is nothing with out him..... buy him all sorts of gadgets and gifts to buy him off.. surely he'll see your truly serious... and if this all doesnt work.... try sleeping with him one night and get yourself knocked up.......... that way he'll for sure be in your life for the next 18 years whether he likes it or not...... ****! I did all of this except the sex part... and we still haven't got back. Lostforwords, what would you be thinking if the girl did all of these to you? How would you feel? *Just interested* Link to post Share on other sites
Author goddessrivka Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 I jsut found out that he moved on after only 3 days. That he couldnt trust me because of a kiss over a year ago and what other people told him. That he had moved on before he got back together with me. And I'm hurting so bad I just want to die... I cant function or do anythig. I need help... Someone please tell me what to do when i feel like this. I feel so lost, betrayed, and heart broken. Its the worst ive ever felt in my life! I hate to be dramatic but its true andI dont know how to move on. i dont know how to cope with the feelings I have. I cant do my schoolwork, I cant foucus on anything but him and how much I am hurting. What can I do... Please help me... Link to post Share on other sites
white_angelbreath Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Dont' worry so much. Trust yourself now. It is hard really, I am also undergoing the same heartbreak experience as you do. But trust yourself more that you can endure the pain and cope with this obstacle in your life.. Link to post Share on other sites
organic chemistry Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 quote "......... now that i finished telling you what you wanted to hear....... im gonna tell you the truth... its over with.... there has been closure he doesnt want to date you any longer.... hes already closed the door now all you have to do is accept it and maybe try being a good friend to him.... its time to accept that he doesnt want to date you anymore and hes clearlt interested in other people.... go out and meet new people..... do stuff to get yoruself preoccupied......... but please do realize you cant force someone to change thier minds... all you can do is possibly change yourself to be a better person.... maybe that will show him you arent the girl you were before... the one he broke up with and doesnt want to see...." i get this point....but how if he deosn't even wanna hang out.....how can he see that i change if we r not contacting each other...... but dun worry....i get it.....to change for my own sake and become a better person.....man....u'll regret that u have dumped me....soon or later.... chance is always there.....when u r least expecting....even if no contact....u will meet ur ex somewhere.....be prepared to show to new u... Link to post Share on other sites
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