Confused_Chump Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Hello everyone. Before I go into my post, here’s a link to my back story so that you guys have a better understanding of my situation if you're interested. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...82&postcount=1 It’s been approx 1.5 years since that post. During this time, I implemented NC and did everything I can to move on. I recently met with her again because I felt I was finally ready to start a regular friendship with her and I found out she’s now seeing someone else. I felt a tiny bit of discomfort upon hearing this, but nothing sharp and painful. It's this tiny bit of discomfort that has compelled me to make this thread. Rationally, I’ve come to accept that things will not work out between us. I no longer feel the intense pain that I felt when we first broke up and I can function daily like a regular human being now. Emotionally however, there are still these “feelings” I have for her. The best way I can describe these “feelings” is that I still “love/care for” her but I am not “in love” with her. What was once a blazing camp fire is now just a pile of glowing embers. So the question is, does the campfire ever completely go out? I hear that you need to fall in love with someone else before you can completely let go of a past relationship. Does it make a difference that she was a first love? I look forward to everyone’s response. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 You probably will always care for her but you need to be careful how close of a friendship you have with her right now. Sure, if you were with someone else this wouldn't be an issue at all. Infact, possibly you wouldn't want a friendship with her because she's your ex and not in your daily life anymore. All I can suggest is, see how it goes. If you find yourself thinking about her too much, feeling abit blah if you don't hear from her, then it's time to back off and not keep the friendship. I've never really been "friends" with any of my ex's. No desire to, especially as time goes on I've found that "yuck" factor really clicked in, and didn't want them to know me anymore, had no interest in their life either. Even my 'first' boyfriend..We tried to keep a light friendship about a year after we broke up due to the fact we had some mutual friends and he knew one of my cousin's quite well. Long story short, I didn't see the point of having him in my life. We grew apart and had nothing much in common, I got sick of past tense conversations (remember when, do you still see/talk to xxx and xxxx etc) so it ended. Not meanly, just one day I said take care of yourself after a phone conversation and that was that. Link to post Share on other sites
annewilson Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I think you should not keep your relation continuously, because she is not agree for this relation. Link to post Share on other sites
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