Parents hate my boyfriend, !

[wind1983]

Hi everyone, I hope the New Year has been treating you well.

 

I have this issue that has been bothering me for about a month now, so I felt I should get some advice from anyone that is willing to read my post--thank you ahead of time!

 

I started dating this guy in September 2010. He is 25 and works with kids with autism. He is basically like a male version of me--we have all the same interests, get along very well. We have never had a fight about anything and can talk calmly to each other. I am 22 years old and lost my virginity to him about two weeks ago (I decided to wait until I met the right guy--I've dated some not so nice guys before).

 

The only issue we had before he met my parents was a comment he made to one of his friends during dinner and told him that I am a virgin (in an indirect way). His friend then began making fun of me and I felt humiliated. I confronted him about it and I haven't seen his friend since. Other than that there were no issues.

 

Meeting my parents:

 

I decided to bring him home this past New Year's. My parents made a huuuge dinner (they are very old school Italian) and cooked steak, crab, potatoes, salad, dessert and munchies and even bought two bottles of champagne--they went all out. My boyfriend shows up to the house (I warned him beforehand that they are judgmental) with a huge mohawk and street clothes. My parents immediately judged him from that, and as soon as he left they told me to break up with him.

 

To avoid conflict with them I agreed and told them I broke up with him even though I really didn't. I then had a conversation with my boyfriend the next week and explained that his actions were disrespectful and equated to me showing up at his mother's house dressed inappropriately. He seemed to understand and we have come to a solution that he is going to talk to my parents (he owns a house that he rents out and is in the process of applying to teacher's college for this September) and explain that he wishes to continue dating me.

 

The main issue: I am fearful that my parents will still not like him even after I have gone through all this. I feel very guilty that I am not telling them everything and I feel like if I leave him I will be making a mistake. But it feels bad that I am 'dishonoring' my parents.

 

My parents don't like his job, his family (his parents are divorced and he has some family problems), the way he presented himself and think he has no aspirations in life.

 

If you have any advice at all with this situation, please let me know. I'm trying to make everyone happy but I feel like I can't!!!

 

Thank you for reading this super long post!

[Seamless74]

Well you can just look at the statistics about how many times parents didnt like their offsprings significant other and how many times they were right in the long run im guessing its probably about 98% accurate that if your parents dont like your boyfriend they probably have good reason.. But hey im sure your part of the 2%...

 

 

Lets see your parents have how many years of life experience between them?

 

 

And lets see your how old?

 

your parents have known you how long?

 

do you think your parents love you and have your best interests at heart?

 

are you starting to get it?

[TwinkletOes26]

Honestly if your parents decide they dont like your fella not much can be done to change their minds. Only thing that matters is if you like him. You are the one spending time with him not your parents so i wouldnt be too bummed.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hi everyone, I hope the New Year has been treating you well.

 

I have this issue that has been bothering me for about a month now, so I felt I should get some advice from anyone that is willing to read my post--thank you ahead of time!

 

I started dating this guy in September 2010. He is 25 and works with kids with autism. He is basically like a male version of me--we have all the same interests, get along very well. We have never had a fight about anything and can talk calmly to each other. I am 22 years old and lost my virginity to him about two weeks ago (I decided to wait until I met the right guy--I've dated some not so nice guys before).

 

The only issue we had before he met my parents was a comment he made to one of his friends during dinner and told him that I am a virgin (in an indirect way). His friend then began making fun of me and I felt humiliated. I confronted him about it and I haven't seen his friend since. Other than that there were no issues.

 

Meeting my parents:

 

I decided to bring him home this past New Year's. My parents made a huuuge dinner (they are very old school Italian) and cooked steak, crab, potatoes, salad, dessert and munchies and even bought two bottles of champagne--they went all out. My boyfriend shows up to the house (I warned him beforehand that they are judgmental) with a huge mohawk and street clothes. My parents immediately judged him from that, and as soon as he left they told me to break up with him.

 

To avoid conflict with them I agreed and told them I broke up with him even though I really didn't. I then had a conversation with my boyfriend the next week and explained that his actions were disrespectful and equated to me showing up at his mother's house dressed inappropriately. He seemed to understand and we have come to a solution that he is going to talk to my parents (he owns a house that he rents out and is in the process of applying to teacher's college for this September) and explain that he wishes to continue dating me.

 

The main issue: I am fearful that my parents will still not like him even after I have gone through all this. I feel very guilty that I am not telling them everything and I feel like if I leave him I will be making a mistake. But it feels bad that I am 'dishonoring' my parents.

 

My parents don't like his job, his family (his parents are divorced and he has some family problems), the way he presented himself and think he has no aspirations in life.

 

If you have any advice at all with this situation, please let me know. I'm trying to make everyone happy but I feel like I can't!!!

 

Thank you for reading this super long post!

 

 

 

Oooooooooooooooh NOOO!!!

 

This is a mess... you lost your virginity to him, so of course you are going to want to cling to him forever.

 

But this guy is very clearly an idiot!!! "disrespectful" doesn't even begin to cover his stupidity.

 

He came to your parents' house for the specific purpose of making a pathetic statement, in the way that only an insecure person does.

 

 

The only prayer you have is that he is "a male version of" you. Meaning you wouldn't hesitate to pull the same sort of a stunt if invited to meet and dine with his family.

 

I wish I could find the two alternatives out there on this earth to allow them respective sighs of relief.

[whichwayisup]

He is 25 and works with kids with autism.

 

How can your parents NOT like this type of job? He's doing a very wonderful thing by working with kids with autism. That's not easy to do and it takes a dedicated and caring person to do this.

 

Look, your parents are judgement and seem to not look past certain things. He made a stupid mistake by showing up in a mohawk and dressed off beat, knowing since you gave him a heads up.

 

Tell your parents the truth, no point in lying to them, especially since you're still seeing him. Don't ask, tell them that they need to open their eyes, be less judgemental and see him for who he is. As long as he treats you well, with respect , they should be atleast try to make the effort to get to know him better.