Plays the friend card

[wierdmunky]

There are some guys friends of mine that kind of act funny to me. I'm not sure if it's a shy thing, or that is truly who they are. There are 2 friends of mine who at one time have said they were interested in me. When they did, or started having feelings for me, they change. They start being sweeter, nicer, wanting to pay for things. I've turned them both down, but both (unrelated to eachother) have said that's ok we can just be friends. Cool. But everything doesn't go neutral it feels. They still seem like they are trying to be a little less overly nice. I told one friend we couldn't talk to eachother until he finds a girlfriend or something, because he would insist on paying for EVERYTHING. After a while, it just felt like we were on the road to "dating", but I didn't like him, and he would just subtly presume that role or something. That whole idea is so off-putting, and after I said no, then ok why does it feel like there is still something in the air. Why don't they KNOW that they are acting like that, even after I've pointed it out to them? One friend said I was acting distant and that I seemed to not want to talk to him in public. When he approaches me though, he talks softly, different then how he acts around to other people, and it's hard to get a conversation started. I'm trying to be more open after he said that to make things not weird, but then he just starts doing that soft talking thing, and making it seem like an intimate conversation. Am I reading too much into this? Because it always seems like if I give this issue more "slack", these guys will try to continue to have this open ended thing. It's been annoying me for a while now, but maybe it might be just a bad reaction to them leaving things up in the air. I never say anything rude or out loud about it, but I don't entertain the open endedness. I'm not sure what they are thinking, and I don't want to be mean to them.

[Bluemoo]

Hmm, tricky situation. Are these two guys buddies with each other too? Not sure what significance that would have but just wondering if they know each other or just you independantly? If I were in your position and they were just my friends then I would try and keep my distance by making excuses about not being able to meet up, but if they are people you have to interact with every day such as at work then it will be a little trickier but can be done! Just make sure that every time 'quiet speaking guy' does this, whether other people are around or not, just make sure you stand a certain distance from him and speak clearly and loudly as if you do not want to get closer to him. If he mutters still or tries to speak quietly to get you to listen in closer, just keep saying 'pardon' but do not move closer. If you can't genuinely hear what he is saying, just nod, smile, agree and keep walking as if you were going somewhere in a hurry and like you didn't hear what he said and you don't really care either - that is what I do with people who annoy me. Do it enough times and they will get the message in the end. Oh, and make sure the smile looks a little bit fake and forced.

But really, if these two are people that you do not need to interact with everyday, then don't! Or just make sure, that when they are around you talk about a 'boyfriend', or better still, a 'girlfriend'!