Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 The most bizzare situation i've ever been. I don't know if there was this guy, but at the same time i know she's been with him alot. Maybe he is just a friend.. I'm really confused. She the dumper, yet shes asking if i would like any other girls and she got angry when i was talking to some girl last week. She's constantly texting me now, maybe she's realised that she did love me? I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 Sigh. Last night she text me saying "text me 2moro" What shall i do? She is absolutely killing me at the minute. I don't know what the hell is going on. Link to post Share on other sites
is2008 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Play it cool!! She'd dictating to you when you should talk and who should do the talking. Let her text you if she wants to talk, let her miss you, let her chase you if she wants you back. You mention this other guy on the scene, if she wants to be with him, she will, afraid there's nothing you can do to stop it, but don't be a doormat in the process. She knows you know about him, and she's using this to her advantage. It sounds like she's manipulating you. I agree with sammyd, make it clear that you want to hear from her when she's made her mind up and wants to talk about reconciliation... that's what I've told my ex, and I'm on day 8 NC. I can tell from your posts that you're hurt and confused about what's going on. Take it from me, ex's can be extremely nasty and manipulative. Unfortunately as they already know us so well, they know what pushes our buttons too, and they'll use it to their advantage. So what can you do about it? Well you have the power NOT to listen and NOT be manipulated. You cannot be manipulated if you're not around to manipulate. I struggled with LC/NC for ages, and now that I'm on day 8, I'm seeing things a lot more clearly, almost like an outsider. I suggest you give yourself the same respect and maintain your dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
is2008 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Also, I forgot to mention, do you really want to beg for her back? She'll always have the upper hand to dictate terms in the relationship. She'll play off your fear... me and you are in the same boat. Secondly, I read that the route to getting over your ex and winning them back are one and the same... NC. Either you'll get over her, or she'll realise what she lost or even BOTH!! She can't possibly miss you when you're always in her face. Give her time alone to miss the two years you spent. That's what I'd do... and am doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 Thanks is2008. I've done NC for 3 weeks and only recently has she been contacting me and stuff. She text me about her mum and dad not getting on with her and she was saying "I make bad choices apparently" now these choice of words confused me. Is this her way of saying i've made a bad decision or is she playing mind tricks? Link to post Share on other sites
is2008 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Does "I made bad choices" translate to "I want you back"... no. Unless she explicitly says those words I'd just ignore her. You're bending over backwards for her by the sounds of things. You're playing the friend role but you want a relationship. A big part of a relationship is the friendship aspect. You're giving her that without the commitment. Stay strong, especially over V day. Link to post Share on other sites
sacg Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Read my Original post man. i said this would happen. mine did the same, as far as im concerned, its guilt, fear, mind gaming, and not wanting to truly let go. Whatever it is, its a long way short of apologising and making a mature effort to reconcile. Don't get sucked in dude, like everyone says, play it cool, leave her to get her head straight, and then see what happens. She chose to leave you, shes been with someone else, maybe it didnt work out. you want someone like that? You want to be there till she finds one that does? I did, and it near on destroyed me. Move on man, stop thinking and analysing, and be happy. you seem like you have your **** together pretty well so far. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 Sigh. She was talking about sexual things and i said "shame it won't be happening again" and she said "why not" and i said because you dumped me J****. She replied with a . And then went rambling on about how her friends made her make the decision to break up with me and so forth. I then said "I know you still love me and i know you miss and that your mates have trapped you" and she was like how did you know that. She's confused to ****. It so annoying that she keeps contacting me now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 From now on im going to ignore her texts, or reply at a later date. Make her start wondering. Also she spent the entire day yesterday designing me a tattoo :S. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 Ex called me her "soulmate" today and then said don't tell anyone. Don't understand what that means tbh. I sent her a letter saying "I agree with the break up and im sorry for my immaturity in the past and so on." She said that it really upset her and that it made her think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) Update and Advice needed. Ok, been along time since last update, but this girl has got me confused to ****! On my Facebook a girl asked me out for a dinner and i get a text the next day from my ex saying "nice to see you're taking that girl out when you took me out once x." And i replied saying that's absolute bull i took you out loads n so forth and said sorry i wasn't the perfect boyfriend. She replied with "Yeah i know I'm sorry She's just pissing me off, you was perfect." Last week her dad had twins with his current partner and she asked if i wanted to see them and go out and have lunch. I was like wtf. But i went because i'm an idiot. It was actually a good day and me and her had fun together, and I'm the only one out of her friends that's seen them :S her bloody ex boyfriend.. She text me after saying "Had a really good time thanks xx." I dunno how to percieve this, and i don't understand what's going on. Do you guys think this is an improvement? It's been 6 weeks since breakup. Edited February 25, 2011 by AcaciaStrain Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Update and Advice needed. Ok, been along time since last update, but this girl has got me confused to ****! On my Facebook a girl asked me out for a dinner and i get a text the next day from my ex saying "nice to see you're taking that girl out when you took me out once x." And i replied saying that's absolute bull i took you out loads n so forth and said sorry i wasn't the perfect boyfriend. She replied with "Yeah i know I'm sorry She's just pissing me off, you was perfect." Last week her dad had twins with his current partner and she asked if i wanted to see them and go out and have lunch. I was like wtf. But i went because i'm an idiot. It was actually a good day and me and her had fun together, and I'm the only one out of her friends that's seen them :S her bloody ex boyfriend.. She text me after saying "Had a really good time thanks xx." I dunno how to percieve this, and i don't understand what's going on. Do you guys think this is an improvement? It's been 6 weeks since breakup. ALL of your questions are answered here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/ Choose not to read (and follow) it at your peril. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author AcaciaStrain Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 Update on this. Ok i went town about 2 months ago and my ex was there with my friends. There was this really attractive girl there who i got talking to and got really close with. My ex saw all this and started crying, weeping ect. Then when i saw her she asked me if i wanted to go back to hers. With me being an idiot i said yes and you can figure out the rest. I thought this would bring us back together and so on. She seemed really in to me again and we kept seeing each other. She said she was "falling in love all over again." So i thought a couple of weeks of this and i'd get her back. Wrong. After 5 weeks of this She started acted all cold again and started seeing this other guy again.. And now i'm in a vicious cycle of seeing her only when she wants to see me and being with him pretty much everyday. But everytime i ignore her or act differently she asks what's up and stuff. She says there's nothing going on between them and that they're "close friends" But she also said she finds him really attractive. I need advice on what to do now. Link to post Share on other sites
Billie The Puppet Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 End your vicious cycle. If she appears to be chasing you, don't accept it. I'd say go No Contact completely with her. Should you run into her don't approach her and shall she approach you , calmly and politely let her down, make yourself busy. Show her you do not have time for her. It seems to me she doesn't want you to move on because she needs you but only to the extent of the fall back guy. Sadly it seems like you have eaten all the breadcrumbs, so there is no more room for cake. I've truly have come to believe that one is only ready for the rarity of a second chance if they no longer need to seek LS for advice, I'd go a step further and say that NC in said person comes natural and is no longer logged. Link to post Share on other sites
giuliano-3 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Run for the hills! It appears she likes having you right where she wants you, which is a place you probably don't want to be in. Get out while you still can. Link to post Share on other sites
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