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We were all on a class night out and we were all discussing joking who we would sleep with in our class I stupidly told a girl in my class that out of the girls in the class I would sleep with her, I meant it as a compliment but it came out wrong. When we returned to college I thought she had forgotten about it untill she brought it up again,

 

I told her I dont fancy her and wouldnt try it in with her and she laughed about it. The next day she called me for a chat and we were laughing away however lately shes been avoiding me and not talking as much. I told her I prefer her as a friend, why is she acting this way I thought I put her mind at rest that I wouldnt make a move on her?

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Well to reiterate we were all drunk and we were all asking each other who in the class you would sleep with, she asked me and I replied her she said the same back. At varoius times she jokingly asked for naked pics of me so im hardly alone in the flirty comments. We get on really well as friends and although i like her i think it could be just lust and i would prefer a stable friendship with her. Should I say this to her?

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I would guess that she thought that by you saying out of all the girls in the class you would sleep with her, you actually were attracted to her. She was presumably waiting to see if you would follow up on your apparent attraction by asking her out. Telling he you wouldn't and that you see her as a friend must have felt very contradictory to her. She's probably hurt now. I don't blame her for avoiding you.

 

Can you still be friends? Probably not as I don't think she'd trust you again. Besides, I'm sure she feels embarrassed and uncomfortable. What do you want to do?

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I do sort of like her but I rather her as a friend because we have great friendship, I thought she would be scared that I told I found her sexually attractive so to speak so I reassured her I like her as a friend and wouldnt make a move on her. She called me the next day and was fine but when she say me in person started acting weird?

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let her know she doesnt have to feel uncomfortable around you. say it was meant as a compliment not an insult and you hope she knows she doesnt have to fear you. youre content and even happy to just have her friendship

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let her know she doesnt have to feel uncomfortable around you. say it was meant as a compliment not an insult and you hope she knows she doesnt have to fear you. youre content and even happy to just have her friendship

 

I will have that chat with her, i dont think she felt insulted but I thought she would have felt akward that id try it on with her so i assured her as long as were friends i wont. but now she is acting akward after i said i dont fancy her. I dont know what to say plus she hasnt been in college the last few days i hope shes ok!

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i hope she is ok. she may be going thru something in the outside world or her inside world that has nothing to do with you or that comment.

 

i would really try to casually talk to her in person, when you see her. ask her hows shes been. tell her that you were thinking about what you said to her the other day adn youre hoping she didnt misunderstand you. tell her the truth...that you find her attractive, but you know youre boundaries and that her friendship always comes first with you and youre there for her is she needs you. then go on to another subject. but let her know. good luck

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i hope she is ok. she may be going thru something in the outside world or her inside world that has nothing to do with you or that comment.

 

i would really try to casually talk to her in person, when you see her. ask her hows shes been. tell her that you were thinking about what you said to her the other day adn youre hoping she didnt misunderstand you. tell her the truth...that you find her attractive, but you know youre boundaries and that her friendship always comes first with you and youre there for her is she needs you. then go on to another subject. but let her know. good luck

 

thanks Is it acceptable to tell a female friend shes attractive i wonder and yet not want to date her. it doesnt help when she makes comments about me having a nice bum or asking for pics!

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yes ..i believe it's not only acceptable but natural...to find someone attractive but not necessarily want to date them.

 

i find a lot of people attractive but that i wouldnt want to date per se

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yes ..i believe it's not only acceptable but natural...to find someone attractive but not necessarily want to date them.

 

i find a lot of people attractive but that i wouldnt want to date per se

 

thanks for all your help ill have a chat with her and let you know how i get on :)

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