HalfAlive22 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 My friends boyfriend was the singer in my husbands band for quite a while, and I became pretty close with her over those years, as we went to the shows a lot together, and shopping , talked on the phone ect. She knows everything about my situation with my husband..soon to be x and his cheating. I don't see her very often because her boyfriend is no longer in the band. The other night when my H and I were arguing about the band, and how it helped destroy our marriage, he slipped and told me all about this other guy (the singer) and how he cheated all the time on her! I'm so upset, should I tell her? I'd want to know, but I don't know if she can handle it. Her first H died unexpectidly when he was only 25, so she's been through so much. Should I let it go, she seems so happy..so torn Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 First, if the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to know? Second, the husband is putting her at risk for all sorts of STD's. Shouldn't she know this information so she can protect herself. If you are her friend then you really need to tell her. How would you feel if later on she catches a major STD? Do the right thing and tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
Iconoclast Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 She's your friend. Of course you should tell her. Give her the opportunity to make decisions with the truth, not fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
aplomb Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Do you believe what your soon-to-be-ex-H is telling you about your friend's husband? Is there anyway you can check on the validity of this? It would be awful if he were making things up just to make himself look better. Just something to consider. I don't like delivering such bad news unless I have my facts straight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HalfAlive22 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 Tx for the replies..I do believe my H on this, first of all they are not married, so at least she would'nt be going through a divorce, and He cheated on his ex girlfriend with this girl..and ended up with her in the end..so he is known for cheating, but I think she thinks he's changed, I even believed it for a while..but then again, I obviously am not a good judge:cool:, I'm trying to figure out how to go about it, I have not talked to her in a while, not sure how to bring it up, I know it sounds stupid but I wish there was a way to do it annonymous..I know I can't tho..ugh this is hard! why are people such dirtbags! Link to post Share on other sites
aplomb Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I wish there was a way to do it annonymous..I know I can't tho..ugh this is hard! why are people such dirtbags! Coincidentally, I am in the same situation with a very good friend. I am in a group of 8 women that travel and play a sport together. We have known each other a very long time and are good friends. One of my friends divorced her husband of 25 years to be with another man. She did not technically cheat on him while married to her husband, but she knew he would be there for her if she left her marriage. We have been out with him socially, he's attended some of our annual functions, etc. One of the women in my group is single and is in an online dating site. She saw this guy on the site and told a couple more of us. Since then, we have been checking his activity, etc. The site will have him as active in a couple of days, and then not active for a long time and then active in a couple of days...over and over. We don't know how, or if, to tell our friend. We don't know if being active means he is actually cheating or not. Maybe he is just looking. We don't understand why he doesn't take his profile off the site. Maybe he did, but they stay up anyway? They are living together now and she would be crushed if she learned that the guy she left her marriage for is cheating on her. Without hard evidence, I am hesitant to tell her. None of us know what to do. Maybe I should put this out as its own question. Link to post Share on other sites
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