radiodarcy Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm sorry, I don't understand this. Your ex sent you a nasty email. It rated a "far more gracious response than what it deserved?" What does that mean? You responded graciously or you didn't? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Insofar as the OP goes, my advice stands. It's fine to send one last email, and she's going to do it anyhow, so why bother telling her not to. Seriously, there are people here you can tell are going to go ahead and make contact. So why waste time convincing them otherwise. sorry - - i meant to say i responded graciously. groveled really. told him he was right -- i was wrong. i apologized for everything - - the whole nine yards. i wish i hadnt -- as it wasn't entirely my fault. but at that point i was afraid i would lose him if i didnt, turns out i'm better off without him anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm sorry, I don't understand this. Your ex sent you a nasty email. It rated a "far more gracious response than what it deserved?" What does that mean? You responded graciously or you didn't? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Insofar as the OP goes, my advice stands. It's fine to send one last email, and she's going to do it anyhow, so why bother telling her not to. Seriously, there are people here you can see are going to go ahead and make contact. So why waste time convincing them otherwise? Graceful, as much as I want my ex back and as much as I feel like a complete fool for telling him that I'm not going to give up on him... I'm not going to contact him. You can believe me or not, but I know deep down it won't do me any good.. If he ever contacts me again, then maybe I will joke and say 'god how embarrasing can't believe I said that!' But for now I think the best thing is to just leave him alone. And like other people have said, telling him that I'm not gonna give up, and then cutting all contact may shock him.... and although I don't think he will come back as he is pretty set on not wanting a relationship, I just hope it will make him miss me a bit. I wish with all my heart he will come back to me, but I realise its not in my control and theres nothing I can do. Thank you all for your replies! Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Graceful, as much as I want my ex back and as much as I feel like a complete fool for telling him that I'm not going to give up on him... I'm not going to contact him. You can believe me or not, but I know deep down it won't do me any good.. If he ever contacts me again, then maybe I will joke and say 'god how embarrasing can't believe I said that!' But for now I think the best thing is to just leave him alone. And like other people have said, telling him that I'm not gonna give up, and then cutting all contact may shock him.... and although I don't think he will come back as he is pretty set on not wanting a relationship, I just hope it will make him miss me a bit. I wish with all my heart he will come back to me, but I realise its not in my control and theres nothing I can do. Thank you all for your replies! Ok, so I know I said I wasnt going to send him a final message, but I've got a sudden urge to! I've written up a draft, people please tell me what you think! "Oh god... I just saw what the last thing I sent you and it makes me cringe! I was really upset, and only said 'im not giving up on u' in the heat of the moment. Obviously I wanted to see how things go with u for longer than a day, and I know you didnt want a relationship but who said I wanted one too.. I just thought seeing as we love eachother, I wanted us to see eachother and have fun. But I understand that you don't want to be with me, so I'm giving up and moving on. Take care" Graceful, you were right in the end!!! It seems I can't avoid wanting to send that one final message, I think its my pride and the fact that I want him to know that I am going to give up on him. Link to post Share on other sites
edgeofdarkness Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 you kno the game snaks and ladders, u kno the really long ladder that goes from the 98 square rite abck to square one, well you're on it. send this an yu will slip rite back down there. dont send this u will kick yrself from here to kindom come, an yu will then feel like sending him neother one saying oh god, disregard last messg.... youll never stop, dont send it,! Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 flow, Just saw your update. I have to go out for a while, and don't have time to respond in full, but please don't send the email until I get back to you. Please, ok? Thanks, flow. Talk to you later. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Ok, so I know I said I wasnt going to send him a final message, but I've got a sudden urge to! I've written up a draft, people please tell me what you think! Graceful, you were right in the end!!! It seems I can't avoid wanting to send that one final message, I think its my pride and the fact that I want him to know that I am going to give up on him. flow, As I said earlier, there are just going to be times when someone needs to do what they need to do ... no matter what the advice here. I understand that, and we all have to learn our own way. "Oh god... I just saw what the last thing I sent you and it makes me cringe! I was really upset, and only said 'im not giving up on u' in the heat of the moment. Obviously I wanted to see how things go with u for longer than a day, and I know you didnt want a relationship but who said I wanted one too.. I just thought seeing as we love eachother, I wanted us to see eachother and have fun. But I understand that you don't want to be with me, so I'm giving up and moving on. Take care" flow, you are putting yourself down in this email. You're also making this about you, when you want to make it about what's best for the two of you. SO consider this: Dear Ex, Since my last email, I have had some time to think, and want you to know that I accept the breakup, and agree we need to go our separate ways. I just wanted to leave off on good terms. I wish you the best. Take care. That's all you need to say. It's short, nice, to the point, and true. Hope this helps. You did not have to return to your thread to tell me you were going to send the email after all, so I have to give you credit for eating a little humble pie. I just want you to move on, flow, and I hope this will help you. You cannot contact him after you send this email, okay. This is really it. Make that a promise to yourself. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 flow, As I said earlier, there are just going to be times when someone needs to do what they need to do ... no matter what the advice here. I understand that, and we all have to learn our own way. flow, you are putting yourself down in this email. You're also making this about you, when you want to make it about what's best for the two of you. SO consider this: Dear Ex, Since my last email, I have had some time to think, and want you to know that I accept the breakup, and agree we need to go our separate ways. I just wanted to leave off on good terms. I wish you the best. Take care. That's all you need to say. It's short, nice, to the point, and true. Hope this helps. You did not have to return to your thread to tell me you were going to send the email after all, so I have to give you credit for eating a little humble pie. I just want you to move on, flow, and I hope this will help you. You cannot contact him after you send this email, okay. This is really it. Make that a promise to yourself. Take care. Thanks for replying! I found a website where it tells you, what to say when your boyfriend breaks up with you and says he doesnt want a relationship. And what it says is more or less along the lines of the following. IF you think its wrong to send please say, and I will just send something along the lines of what you wrote above. 'Hey... I just realized what the last thing I sent to you was and I'm feeling a little embarrased! It was that time of the month last week.. so I think thats why I responded so dramatically when I said 'I'm not giving up on you!' haha.. Anyway I've thought about things, and I understand that you don't want a relationship. I am disapointed, its not like I exactly wanted a relationship, I just wanted to see u and have fun, but you cant help what you dont feel... I deserve a man who knows what he wants. I just wanna thank u for being honest with me, and I guess it was good u realized after a day and not let it drag on for any longer! Thanks for letting me go to find what I deserve... Also, could you email me the lyrics of the song you wrote for me, I'd like to have a nice memory of you. Take care' Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Thanks for replying! I found a website where it tells you, what to say when your boyfriend breaks up with you and says he doesnt want a relationship. And what it says is more or less along the lines of the following. IF you think its wrong to send please say, and I will just send something along the lines of what you wrote above. 'Hey... I just realized what the last thing I sent to you was and I'm feeling a little embarrased! It was that time of the month last week.. so I think thats why I responded so dramatically when I said 'I'm not giving up on you!' haha.. Anyway I've thought about things, and I understand that you don't want a relationship. I am disapointed, its not like I exactly wanted a relationship, I just wanted to see u and have fun, but you cant help what you dont feel... I deserve a man who knows what he wants. I just wanna thank u for being honest with me, and I guess it was good u realized after a day and not let it drag on for any longer! Thanks for letting me go to find what I deserve... Also, could you email me the lyrics of the song you wrote for me, I'd like to have a nice memory of you. Take care' flow, I stand by my advice. I don't care what some website says to do, that's a template, as though all people are alike, and all breakups are alike. They are not. If you want to use a template, then go ahead. If I got an email of that length, I wouldn't even get to the end of it, to be honest. It's still all about you. If you want the song lyrics, and you want to ask for them, you can always add that as a "PS", but don't expect to get a response. It looks like you're setting him up by asking for the lyrics, so I'm not sure that's a good idea. Your call. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 flow, I stand by my advice. I don't care what some website says to do, that's a template, as though all people are alike, and all breakups are alike. They are not. If you want to use a template, then go ahead. If I got an email of that length, I wouldn't even get to the end of it, to be honest. It's still all about you. If you want the song lyrics, and you want to ask for them, you can always add that as a "PS", but don't expect to get a response. It looks like you're setting him up by asking for the lyrics, so I'm not sure that's a good idea. Your call. Take care. To be honest I don't think I'll be happy with whatever I send him, so I think I'm not going to send him anything. Probably best not to anyway. Maybe in a months time, or if he ever contacts me I'll ask for the lyrics, and maybe then I'll say that I can't believe I said 'im not giving up on you'. I probably won't even care by then! Its probably best to just leave him alone for now. Thanks a lot for your advice!! Link to post Share on other sites
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