The ultimate fairytail where I wore my heart on my sleeve! ??

[Bribrigirl08]

I am writing this to the sernade of "Clair d Lune" by Claude Debussy.

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I consider myself to be a decent catch. I am a petite, attractive 27 year old woman. I have been in various relationships throughout my life; I have been played my many men, treated horribly like I was their sex object, and play-toy. I have also been in good relationships too, I was married once for a period of time to a wonderful person but sadly though, my husband and I had a falling out (which is a long drawn out story). I look at stuff like this as that old adage “all good things come to an end”. I mean life goes on, and our everyday struggles can be defeated. I was with my husband for about 5 years, but only married for 3 years. Other then my husband, most of my relationships last about a month. I have been told that I have a free spirit. After my divorce I started going with guys, most were just flings and at that point in my life I didn’t care. Recently though, I got to a point where I kind of want more than just a fling. I want a relationship and I want to fall in love again. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I was in an Internet chat room around Christmas time and I just randomly started chatting with this guy. He and I seemed to have a bit in common and we exchanged phone numbers that evening. He seemed very attractive and he was 30 years old (only a few months or so younger then my husband). I really thought nothing of it really. The next day though we started texting back and forth and well the texting led up to wanting to meet up in person. I had never met the guy before and he invited me to come meet him and stay with him for a few days. He lives an hour and a half from me so it’s kind of long distance. Well I took the risk and met up with him and everything went well. I feel for him, he from what I saw feel for me and staying with him for a couple days turned into staying with him for a couple weeks. Throughout the period of time the relationship turned out to be quite serious, we were saying we loved each other and he wanted me to move in permantly with him. Instead of this being just a short fling, we both fell in love during that period of time and in the scheme of things, from what I noticed, we started acting like a married couple in a since. I must say this guy is very, very emotional, he cried when I brought him a bottle of his favorite wine!! Well during the time I was with him, he wanted to know if I was talking to other guys. I told him I was, because I was seeking out people to date, but since I was with him I would keep him exclusive and not pursue anyone else. I wanted to see this work.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri] Since we had just met though, I would still get texts from other guys and when my phone would beep, he would jump and look over to see who I was texting. I would tell him the truth if it was someone who I had been with and tell the person who had text me that I was seeing somebody or just wasn’t interested anymore. The guy who I was with in response would still get defensive and he would even show me his texting history and say something along the lines of “look no girls who I have had a fling with are texting me, you can look at my phone”. He was even more jumpy and paranoid when my husband would call regarding the fact that he owed me money or to wish me “Happy Holidays”. To be quite honest, the only guy who texts me on a regular basis IS my husband, but is more about business then personal. My husband at the time knew that I was seeing someone and respected it. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]This person though seemed to not trust me when it came to stuff like that, and I don’t know why. I have been cheated on before by guys, and I have cheated on guys who I have been with, and I admitted that to him. In this relationship though, I wanted this one to work out and I would remain only faithful to him. He still seemed paranoid and tried to pry his way into my personal life (only knowing me for a couple weeks). He wanted to know EVERYTHING about me and I mean EVERYTHING. He said being completely honest is best at first and I shouldn’t hide anything from him. This made me feel kind of awkward. Well to make a long story short after my two week stay with him, he and I had to get back to work. I couple days later; I couldn’t find a scarf that I once owned. I wear a lot of cute scarves during the winter some that were gifts from family. Well, I figured I had left it at someone’s house. I later that day found out that I had left it at a guy’s house who I had slept with a couple times but nothing more. I briefly contacted him and met up with him later that in public day to get my scarf back. Yes, I am possessive about my clothes and my mom gave me that scarf. I cannot stress enough that all I wanted was my scarf, not the guy! THAT WAS IT!! Well the guys who I was seeing whom I loved called later that day and I told him conversation wise that I met up with a person who I had been with that day ( only to be truthful with him). Before I could tell him why, he freaked out and said in a since that I cheated on him. He hung up and I didn’t hear from him for about a day. I texted him and told him I was sorry for upsetting him, but to trust me nothing happened! A day later, he texts me and says that we need to talk. I tried calling him but he wouldn’t answer. His texts me back later and say he was busy, which sounded like a dumb excuse. A day later, that night, he calls me really late at night, but I was asleep (tired from crying over him). I tried calling him the next morning and finally get a hold of him. I ask him why he had been dodging me when he was the one who wants to talk and again he says he was busy or hanging out with friends, or drinking too much (all which are sorry excuses, I am NOT stupid). He says in our conversation that I broke his heart and he thought I cheated on him. I gave him my side of the story and told him that I wanted my scarf back from the other person. He kind of blew me off and said he needed more time to think and he will get back to me. He finally does LATER that day by sending me a text saying that we should meet up again. I tell him that is fine and we set up a time. The day we are supposed to meet, at the last minute he flakes with some stupid excuse. I send him a text telling him I am tired of the games and if he wants to break this off I need to know so we can see other people. He replies telling me not to and he doesn’t want to break it off, he wants to be with me. I say okay and set up another time to meet, and as usual he flakes. This time I am upset and tell him that this is his last chance or I am breaking this off. LATER that night, he calls me and says he has been AFRAID to meet and that is why he has been blowing me off but he is sorry and still wants to meet and he misses me. I pretty much say let’s talk tomorrow, and he says okay. Well the next day I try to contact him through, and his sorry excuse for not wanting to talk is he is really sick. This was our last conversation which happened earlier today. I get fed up and send him a text that sounds like this:[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Me: Hey I am tired of your games. I don’t know why your or doing this to me or what you are trying to do. You obviously don’t want to meet or talk and I respect that. All I want to know is if we are going to be together then we need to take the time to communicate to make this work. If we are not going to be together and you want to see other please let me know, so I can delete your number from my phone and move on with someone else locally.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Him: I am not doing anything. I’m just not feeling good. And am gonna take a nap. Listen to me everything is okay. Do not worry.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Me: So answer me this? Are we still together?[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Him: Yes we are![/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Me: And I am not worried! I just want to move on, whether it be with you or someone else……………[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Him: NO!! I JUST AM NOT FEELING WELL!! Give me a break. It’s not over! I still want you![/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Him: Stop it! You don’t have to move on! You have me! Please do not over think this, I want you still, I’m just not feeling well today. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]And that was my last conversation. I am ultimately confused on what to do from here. I really like this guy and yes I think I love him. We do have a lot in common and I would like to be with him. I just hate the drama! What did I do wrong? I don’t know if he is playing games with me? Or if he is confused or being just plain stupid? Is he being scared? Should I just dump him and delete his phone number and move on? I really don’t want to have to do this and is there any way this relationship can be saved? Can someone help me here? I consider myself a good catch, I like this guy but I don’t like being played. Can someone tell me what is going in his world? I know what I did was wrong and I feel really bad about it. I still love him and I would like to see if there is any possible way to fix this. I just want to show him that I am really sorry. [/FONT][/sIZE]