Layzie89 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Man, after reading your breakup story AC06 and imagining the hurt you've been through, it makes all the pain I've felt about my breakup seem minuscule. I'm sorry to hear that man...by the sound of it, your ex gf is a spineless, truly horrible person for making you feel the way you did. Telling you "Told you I never loved you :)" WTF?!?! Who does that? God man...I can't even begin to imagine how I'd react having just found out my ex cheated on me twice and then her responding like that... Be happy this girl is out of your life man. Be happy that she's with a new boyfriend because more than likely she's either going to cheat on him or he's going to cheat on her. People with these kind of personalities don't deserve us man...I feel like everyone here at LS are good people and you are too brother. Just take this as a lesson learned, as penelope said, focus on yourself, go back to NC and don't look back man. GOD...If I knew your ex personally I'd totally cuss her out right now for how she treated you...and if I were you I woulda broke down the door to that hotel room and and hung that guy that was hitting on your girl from the balcony until he screamed like a girl to be pulled up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Process it all. Cry, rage, cry again, feel the guilt, allow yourself to feel all of the negatives that come with the healing process. Do not make her a part of your healing anymore, it's all about you. If contacting her will reinforce the idea of sticking to NC, go ahead and do it - as long as you eventually stick to NC. Just get to NC. You're not okay with friendship with her or have any contact with her at all for that matter. You're still too raw from your feelings. She has issues independent of you. Got it? Well, I never claimed she doesn't have her own issues... they're just incredibly superficial ones. My story with her ends the day I stop texting her. At this point she is replying to me and, usually after a few days, I reply to her, and sooner or later one of us is going to stop, and it will most probably be me. And that time is one or two texts off I reckon. The only reason I keep it going is knowing that the day I stop is the day I accept forever that I'll never see her how I used to, that we'll never talk again, and as happy as that first year was, it's just a memory and nothing more now. Them's the hard parts... Not starting a new relationship, not accepting she's a bad person *right now*, but accepting that I can never, ever see her like that again, in any capacity. That's what's hard to let go of, but I know it has to be done, I'm almost ready, but still not quite happy about it. Man, after reading your breakup story AC06 and imagining the hurt you've been through, it makes all the pain I've felt about my breakup seem minuscule. I'm sorry to hear that man...by the sound of it, your ex gf is a spineless, truly horrible person for making you feel the way you did. Telling you "Told you I never loved you :)" WTF?!?! Who does that? God man...I can't even begin to imagine how I'd react having just found out my ex cheated on me twice and then her responding like that... Be happy this girl is out of your life man. Be happy that she's with a new boyfriend because more than likely she's either going to cheat on him or he's going to cheat on her. People with these kind of personalities don't deserve us man...I feel like everyone here at LS are good people and you are too brother. Just take this as a lesson learned, as penelope said, focus on yourself, go back to NC and don't look back man. GOD...If I knew your ex personally I'd totally cuss her out right now for how she treated you...and if I were you I woulda broke down the door to that hotel room and and hung that guy that was hitting on your girl from the balcony until he screamed like a girl to be pulled up. The saddest thing about the hotel room is that when I got there, she was acting like I'd never seen and I left. Then she called crying for me to come back, and after she'd opened the door she wanted me to go to the bedroom so we didn't have to hang out with her friends. Looking back... well, if I'd known, I'd have swallowed my pride and my hurt and just ignored the situation until later. Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Wow I thought my ex was a cold hearted bitch. You need to never contact her again. Girls like her are why I've only ever been in one relationship in my life. Cut the line brother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Share Posted March 12, 2011 I've made it as far as deleting the photos off my phone and deleting her numbers, even though I know them off by heart. You would think given the timeframe I'd be way better off now. But sadly, today is one of the worst days I've ever had. If I could wash away all the memories I would, but I can't, and I'm left all day, every day, wondering how someone who was so perfect to me turned into such a disgusting person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Share Posted March 12, 2011 Well, I made it through my horrid day today. The nights are now the easier time to cope... I'm really not sure why, it's usually the nights that are the worst. I'm trying. I want new tattoos, a new job or course, her number and pictures are gone. I'm going to try to beat a month of NC. I replied to her last text yesterday and she didn't reply yet, so maybe, just maybe, that's it. What I will NEVER understand is why she had to be so disgusting to me on the way out when all I wanted was to leave on good terms, which I'd TOLD her, yet instead of just a nice goodbye, she still felt like digging into me. And when I bring up how I was never, ever bad to her, she can't even argue against it, she just ignores it and jabs into how I look or dress. It's literally her saying "Yeah you treated me well, but your pants and shoes are so ugly!" So yeah, hard to accept that kind of change to complete shallowness. But I will try. I am a good person, I can be successful, and my only issue is trying to accept that she changed. And I will try. And I'll keep trying until I do. And hopefully the days are easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Today has been incredibly easier than the last few days, though still not anywhere near where I'd like to be. I found myself more accepting today and more positive. I hope she doesn't get pregnant is my worry today. Wish it wasn't but it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Two friends of mine who had been together for three years just broke up. He had been lying to her for the last 18 months. Alot of people, myself included for a long time, thought they were a really happy couple. She's not dealing with it well, not going to work, completely distraught. A friend of mine from work just found out her husband has been cheating on her for a year. Bottom line? I know I'm going to move on soon, and I'll be happy for an undetermined amount of time. But I'm still struggling letting go of my ex. She was the last person I really trusted who I believed was different and special. She's one of two people like that I've met in my life, and the only one I've ever gone after. And it is STILL hard letting go of that memory of her, because when I try, I just remember having to watch her change into what she is today. But all the things I see people do to each other leaves me wondering if anyone ever REALLY stays happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Well, I set myself out a list of long term goals and short terms goals. I was really positive on the weekend on Saturday night, now I'm kind of in the middle. Still positive, still determined to fight the good fight and make something of myself, and make the necessary changes to stay happy. Still missing the memory of a girl, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 One of my short term goals was to apply for 10 jobs a week. I applied for 32 the other day. So far, four knock backs and a short listing for a management position. I'm now on day 23 of NC. One week and I've passed the last attempt. However, my birthday is in two weeks. I don't expect to hear off her, and I know it will crush me a bit. Expecting to feel crushed means I will be either way, but I can't help it. I'm still waking up every day thinking of her, and she still occupies my mind almost 24/7. I'm making a serious effort to keep advancing my life, and that feels pretty good. But I can't stop loving and wanting who she was (and still is sometimes), and I can't stop hating what she has changed into. I'm in that place where I feel like she lives in her bubble of nastiness, alcoholism, delusion and immaturity with her friends, and I feel like I've put more thought into her future and who she is than she has. I fully expect this phase of her life to end and for her to go back to how she used to be. But I want to see that side of her again so bad, that no matter what she did or says she did, I can't help but feel like I'm wasting myself away and won't be right until (and if) that day comes. I'm certain if I hear off her or break NC in a month or two she'd be all nice and peachy to me (happened first time). But I know I shouldn't. I've set some dates of NC, reach this date, then aim for this one etc. and I really hope I can keep it up. But common sense vs. my burning desire to see that good side of her is a battle that is actively taking all the energy and emotional stability I have left. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 I has a question! Is it bad that I believe one side of her loved me and the other didn't, and that it's worth hoping I hear off her? Or should I suck it up and make another attempt at trying to convince myself she really is just a horrid person now and forever? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC06 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I hit 200 days on what would have been our anniversary the other day. I stopped counting days a long time ago, but I remember figuring out that it would be 200 on a sleepless night months and months ago. Don't really know where I'm at. Still plagues me every day. Still find it hard to be impressed by new people. Still miss her. But I'm also still here. That's gotta count for something. Link to post Share on other sites
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