Nini Posted August 10, 2000 Share Posted August 10, 2000 I got stood up . .again. . I've been involved in an on-line relationship for over a year now. He's a very special person, funny, witty, etc. When do I give up and just let go? I'm tired of waiting. Tuesday he was supposed to fly to me, and he backed out - again. Strike Two. We discussed just "being friends" but that will be difficult since we're so much more than "best friends". Is this just a bite the bullet and do it? He says he loves me, doesnt want to lose me, sees us with a future together - after a year - i'm more of a NOW kinda person - my future is tomorrow and i'm starting to feel that he's not ever going to come. (and going to him is out of the question, that was strike one, he backed out of me going to him) just curious - what a non-interested 3rd party would say. . Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 10, 2000 Share Posted August 10, 2000 The guy has seriously mislead you about a number of things. He has probably sent you a picture of someone else saying it was him. He probably weights 450 pounds, his teeth are probably falling out, and maybe he even uses the computer in the prison library where he is incarcerated. (Just trying to make a point here) People who refuse to keep committments to meet someone in person after a very lengthy online or telephone relationship have something to hide. This is particularly so because you were willing to spend your own money to go and see him and he didn't want you do do that. My advice is to write this one off real fast, learn a cool lesson from this, but don't be down on online relationships. If you are going to meet someone online, make sure they live within 45 minutes of you and have a car. If a personal meeting does not take place within 30 days of your initial contact, forget it and move on. You can waste a lot of valueable years with deals like this. There are a lot of people who thrive on online relationships because they are incapable or unsuitable for one reason or other for in-person relationships. You also set yourself up for serious disappointment. Quality relationships require a unique chemistry which can ONLY be detected when two people are with each other in person. No matter how much you think you "love" someone you have met online, you could think they stink the minute you set your eyes on them. I know this sounds harsh...but would you accept a date from someone you were repulsed by who asked you in person? Online relationships take place nowhere else but in your head. If you love this person, you are in love with what your head says that person is. There are probably other underlying psycodynamics working in the background. Tell him if he doesn't come to see you within ten days, you are writing him off. Then on midnight of the tenth day, have all your friends over for a writing off party. I'm really sorry this happened to you. It happens a lot but most people are too embarassed to talk to their friends about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Help Me Posted August 10, 2000 Share Posted August 10, 2000 Well, I believe that the reasons for his backing out really are important for what your next move should be. first and MOST IMPORTANT, do you believe that he is being completely upfront with you as to why he cannot make it? If so, that should warrant another chance, i think. If not, why be with someone that you really don't trust. that is my advice. However, I need more details regarding his reasons Link to post Share on other sites
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