just_some_guy Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Through all of the stress of a crumbling marriage, separation and divorce, I'm exhausted. I know I need to take some time off. I dream about it, just being free for a while, not having to work. I can afford to do that, maybe even quite a while. But I can't seem to push the button, to make plans for a vacation to actually take the time for myself. It is because working and routine are the only things really holding me together sometimes. It is the quiet time, especially alone, where it all hits me. I fear taking time off. I know it is going to happen. But I am also exhausted, beyond exhausted. It feels as though my soul itself is tired and run down, not just my body or mind, all the way to my inner core. Don't know what to do, where to go, or how to cope once I got there. So I grind away, at a job I don't really care about or want to go to. I haven't been looking for a new one because I'm so rundown that I don't think I have the energy level available to start on a new job. The date for default judgement is around the corner. We have not been able to come to an agreement, in spite of my best and earnest efforts to do so. My stbx's suicide attempt last month really took a big bite out of me. Haven't really completely finished processing all of that yet. I dream though, of wandering for months, exploring, gathering my strength and healing. But I don't think it will go that way. I think it will be a lot of getting nothing accomplished and feeling a lot of hurt. What to do, what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Any good quality friends you can go away with and do some kind of activity focused get away? Sounds like it would be refreshing for you to go away, but not to spend too much time alone/sitting around thinking too much. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 How about one of those Go Eco volunteer vacations. You travel to some great places and can so things like help endangered species or orphans. Would be such a cool trip and you would feel great about yourself too. Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 What about a min-vacation? Just something YOU like to do. Movie, a hike, hell go out and get hammered... Whatever gives you pleasure. I'm lucky in that I LOVE the outdoors and I camp whenever I feel down. How about someone to talk to? A support group of some sort. Don't sit around waiting for solutions, they rarely fall out of the sky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author just_some_guy Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Thanks for the thoughts. I do have people to talk to and do manage to get out a bit. Had some time off over the Christmas break, but the weather was bad and wound up with not a lot to do or anywhere to go locally. Had my own little mini-meltdown, which I knew was coming sooner or later as an aftermath of finding her after the suicide attempt and all the associated crap I had to deal with. I'm reluctant to wander off and spend much time on my own, or "wasting" precious paid-time-off doing nothing. I guess it will take time. Just need to stay busy until I feel ready. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Because what you need isn't a vacation. You need a new way of looking at things. A view that will give you energy. Perhaps meditation would be worth a try. If that doesn't appeal to you--then whatever way works for you that will bring you peace. Are you balanced? Have you done a good self-inventory and assessment? Ah, advice is so easy to give. I should take my own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I would say keep working, come home and rest. I went on vacation and ended up at 6am on a beach in europe drinking beer, listening to music - angry and hurt lol I think keeping busy works, friends - if they really help and give an ear, exercise, councilling, reading, meditating, eating and sleeping well. Those things help. Link to post Share on other sites
vtbrokenhearted Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Hi, I'm going to reiterate what others have said. Meditation is seriously helpful...that's if you're open to giving it a shot. I've gone to two retreats so far, and it has given me a whole new way of looking at things. My problem- keeping the practice up at home! Take care and I hope you find what helps ease and bring peace to your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I agree with the others, meditation is great, but don't forget exercise. I wear myself out physically and I sleep like a baby, feel great the next day, have lots of energy and am ready to keep moving forward with a job I don't love, side-work that I need to do to keep up with child support, mortgage, bills, etc. but oh well, that's life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm racing to it... Keep on cranking and remember, this is a TEMPORARY situation!! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I ran on fumes during my divorce, I don't know how I got through it looking back. I busied myself to the point of exhaustion- because when I was busy, I wasn't in pain. Sometimes you just have to stop- and acknowledge the pain. You have to deal with it at some point or you'll never heal. Link to post Share on other sites
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