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The Lost Guide to No Contact - Version 2


lost_in_chgo

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lost_in_chgo

Move on?

I didn't move on...

 

Don't misunderstand me...I didn't say don't ever talk to him.

I'm saying leave him alone or you will push him further away.

Keep the contact casual and wait for him to reach out, otherwise you come across as controlling and if he is trying reinvent himself, you become the opposition.

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Oh ok, I was kind of confused about what you said but thanks for clarifying. Anyway I have been thinking about it and I feel an enormous amount of guilt. I know that is usually what most people feel when they are the dumpee because it's that feeling of "I must have done something wrong." But in this case, maybe he really did join this seminar to do something to change himself and to improve his relationship with me. I feel guilty because I turned down his seminar. I feel like I need to email him and tell him that I understand that he wanted to do this seminar because he wanted to improve things. But I feel like it's too late. I don't know if I should email him and tell him all of this, what do you think, bad idea? Would it be a desperate measure on my part?

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mandrews1119

Hey Lost,

What's up? Saw your post and figured I'd drop in and say hello. I'm still pretty much where you read me last, still no contact, and working on things. how goes it by you? Stay cool.

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lost_in_chgo

Hi mandrews,

 

No joy on the ex.

Her birthday approaches rapidly.

Guess it hinges on what the guy she doing (er, seeing) does.

 

No joy elsewhere.

 

Starting to get down in the dumps again.

 

Best luck to us both.

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mandrews1119

Hey lost,

 

You know we can't let you stay in the dumps for too long, you are a voice of reason and hope for too many of out here! :) Just look at some other good things and blessings that may (or have) come your way. I took (or rather my heart took) a minute or two out to focus on some "mandrews" things (i.e. work, etc.) and was offered a new job (they actually created a new position for me!), with a 10K difference in salary. On top of that, one of the other positions I was interviewing for has me at the final candidate stage ( I think it is me and one more person, kind of like the Apprentice - only no Donald Trump) for a job with a 30K salary jump. Either way, it got my head out of the dumps, and hopefully will give me a little more to work with in making a better life, including the pursuit of my ex, without staying down over the current state of affairs. I know you are in for the long haul, hopefully this period will pass. Stay cool, and stay strong.

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