giraffegirl Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 It is so so so VERY lucky that you found out what she is really like NOW rather than in another year when you are completely hooked on her. You sound lovely and im sure you will find someone genuine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ctwatlanta Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Well I certainly didn't intend to be an inspiration to anyone; however, if my actions have helped someone then it's all worth it. I will say that it's been nearly 2 wks now and I feel as though I'm over the worst part. The hardest part is always going from a steady relationship (no matter how bad it is) to being completely alone. Going to bed at night alone and wondering where she is just about drove me nuts...but I vowed I wouldn't attempt to contact her and I didn't. I now understand the term "security blanket" and what it means. That said I went cold turkey and completely cut her off altogether. I sent her all the info I had and then blocked her number, cut her off from Facebook, etc. Of course I wanted to speak with her but looking back you guys were SOOOOOOO right when you said not to do so! I'm very glad I did not because I'm quite certain that in my fragile state I would have taken her back. To date I've not heard from her again since she received the package and her cursing me out and blaming me. That said it just proves what her true colors were all along...and once again, you guys were right. So, if I've got any advice for anyone that's dealing with a similar situation or if you're just in a relationship where you feel neglected, etc. then please get out! Put all your FACTS together...not allegations, and then provide them to your other half...then leave... permanently. If they're cheating on you then do as I did. I've read on these boards where a person has been cheated on and they take them back only to experience it all over again. Don't put yourself through it!!! Yes, it will be hard, but you will feel so much better once it's behind you! Admittedly I feel very vulnerable right now and I'm jaded. It will be hard to trust again for a while and I feel sorry for the next person I do date. I'm afraid I'll not trust anything she says or does, but I'm going to try my best not to act that way. It's just a tough situation that I'm sure many of you know all too well. Thank you again everyone...you've been a God-send. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Piling on late, but I just wanted to say that I think you handled this situation exactly the way it should be handled. You just put the facts out there and let them speak for themselves, and then you took action to protect yourself and your own honor. When people separate, that's what it's all about; it should never involve revenge or manipulation, because then you're making this less about your own well-being and making it more about making the other person 'pay' for their sins. It's best just to let the other person face their own music. It's hard to do that sometimes because there's this urge for us to want to see them in pain, and we may even want to be the ones to inflict it. The reality is, we're usually not around to see them suffer the effects of karma, but they do suffer them. It may sometimes take a year or two for them to realize what they've done, and you may not be around to watch them go through this epiphany, but that doesn't matter. Recovery should focus strictly on picking up the pieces and getting yourself right. Whatever happens to them will, in time, happen. I suspect what happened in your case, as in a lot of cases, is that your ex-lover may have felt 'bored' (most relationships go through the unexciting phase), and that she wanted to try something new. She probably didn't think this one through -- people who cheat rarely do. But she'll have plenty of time to reflect on all of it now. The good thing about what you did is that you took away her options. You made her face the consequences of her decisions. So many times, whenever I read about the victims of cheating here, the victims feel vulnerable (the added burden of cheating) and aren't sure what to do. The cheaters want their options, and they want you to keep their options open. But you took that away. You removed yourself from the pool of options. Oh well...hope she's satisfied with meeting some guy on the Internet (pathetic, when you think about it). Something tells me she will realize in just a few weeks or so just how pathetic she really was. And as others have said, don't let her back in. Keep on moving. Link to post Share on other sites
Chell Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) wow good for you! wish i had the strength you did. Edited February 7, 2011 by Chell Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Just want to say how wonderfully you handled this and hope you're feeling better now:). It took a lot of courage to do what you did, and she thoroughly deserved it. Link to post Share on other sites
suddendumpee Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hey OP I think you've done the right thing she sounds like a real bitch. Not showing remorse or appologising is out of order. Much better off without her. If your gf can't share her e-mails and phone with you then something is always up. I always let me gf onto my phone and e-mail etc and she lets me. Nothing to hide = best way! Wow. There IS such a thing as a delete button. Trust should not involve permitted snooping. If you and your GF REALLY trusted one another, you would need to allow each other to check phones/email. Just sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly5525 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I'm really sorry this happened to you. Just wanted to say though that I think you handled the whole situation beautifully! You're obviously one great/classy guy! Link to post Share on other sites
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