I am in control now. Money isn't everything.

[silver68]

Part 1

I have already shared the events of my breakup (I just want to be happy) i was wondering if anyone else had anything to say about being the person you want to be. I received a lot of wonderful advice, but i just wanted to open it up to more people through another post. I havent been single in 5 years. It is definitely a big change to only worry about yourself and have the right to be selfish with your time. I'm not saying that I don't think about others, in contrary my unselfish attitude was the reason for a lot of my problems! I always let myself get pushed around because I thought it made everyone else happy and like me so much more. Its completely different now. I can do whatever I want. I really want to be a more complete person. Its exciting in many ways, but its also a little scary to change who you thought you were. It takes awhile to realize that who you were before was not working, not for you and definitely not for your ex. It was holding me back from living life!

 

Part 2

I have always been a saver with my money, always thinking about the future and not wanting to "waste it" on just about anything. And I'm not talking about being materialistic. It kept me from experiencing things! Of course not every opportunity costs money, I understand that. But there are times when skipping out on things just to save a few bucks isn't worth it. This has been the reason for countless arguments...There have been so many times that while i was on a vacation or basically anywhere out of the house with my ex or even my family, I would be cheap, thinking it was the smart thing to do. I don't want to spend frivolously by any means, but how do I get past being this way? Have you ever dealt with this problem in your life?? I know this seems like a really silly thing to bring up, but I would really appreciate your thoughts on this, along with what I said earlier.

[I am healed]

Money definitly is something you want to be flexible with. Ultimately, once we have taken care of our basic needs it shouldn't be nessecary to save every penny we make. I am a casual spender meaning I spend moderately to meet my income and I am very satisfied with what I buy etc.

 

As long as you are spending your money on things that improve the qaulity of your life than hallelujah to you brotha.

 

And I feel you on your five year relationship and break up. I think many of us lose ourselves in relationships and out identities blur. So I'm glad you're starting to become who you need to be.