Friends and crossing the line

[Pieces]

Hey peeps,

 

Not sure if this is for this section of LS but I'll give it a go...

 

I have a friend that I have known for about 13 years now, since school, and we just kept bumping into each other over the years. Recently we both bumped into each other in the gym and we started going to classes together.

 

About 8 years ago we almost had a fling but didn't because we were both in relationships at the time. We are both single now and it has again come on the cards that there may be something more than just friendship.

 

Prior this 'something' progressing, I invited him to come travelling with me. We have always got on so it seemed a good idea at the time.

 

About 2 weeks ago he suggested that we go for a drink to discuss things about travelling. There is definitely some sparks there and we have both exchanged numerous flirty text messages to each other.

About 2 hours before he was supposed to pick me up, he said that he was stuck with a friend and may be late.

 

Without going into details, he arrived almost 2 hours late and we were only with each other for a couple of hours too. It was rushed and I wasn't feeling the best about our first time alone. We didn't kiss because I saw him put chewing gum in his mouth and automatically thought that he didn't want one. I guess that this could of meant that he was freshening up, but I didn't see that at the time.

 

I later got a text saying that it was good seeing me.

 

Over the next week we didn't really speak but there was some contact on Facebook. On Monday we started talking through text messages and there was a great deal of flirting and suggestive talk going on.

 

He suggested that we meet up, so we arranged for the following night.

 

I was excited and cancelled my own plans, even bought some new underwear.....he cancelled on me 1 hour before he was meant to come over.

 

I was so disappointed. He text me saying "My luv, I don't think I will make it tonight. I have been called into work for fecking 5am and I'm not a happy bunny. I'm so sorry".

 

I text back a while after saying "Ok. Thanks for letting me know. Sounds like you've got a crappy early start. Have yourself a good sleep and I'll catch ya later".

 

I got a text back saying "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

 

I said "There is no need hun, but it's up to you if you want to think of something".

 

He replied "hmmm....a challenge...I like it!"

 

I did not respond.

 

I think it was very rude of him and maybe I am reading more into it than necessary. Any suggestions?

[Lorelai]

I was excited and cancelled my own plans, even bought some new underwear.....he cancelled on me 1 hour before he was meant to come over.

 

I was so disappointed. He text me saying "My luv, I don't think I will make it tonight. I have been called into work for fecking 5am and I'm not a happy bunny. I'm so sorry".

 

I text back a while after saying "Ok. Thanks for letting me know. Sounds like you've got a crappy early start. Have yourself a good sleep and I'll catch ya later".

 

I got a text back saying "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

 

I said "There is no need hun, but it's up to you if you want to think of something".

 

He replied "hmmm....a challenge...I like it!"

 

I did not respond.

 

I think it was very rude of him and maybe I am reading more into it than necessary. Any suggestions?

 

In this economy he may be trying to make sure he still has a job -- there's a lot of things going on at my workplace like people accepting more job duties for the same or less pay to make them less likely to be let go.... coming in when they call because another coworker flakes is a great way to get credit with the boss.

 

It means his job is important to him. If you want to be with someone who just has a job instead of a career or who will put you ahead of demands at work, this might not be the guy for you. And since I've dated a workaholic I'm not judging anyone who would rather have their mate work to live rather than live to work. This doesn't mean he is a workaholic like my ex, but ... it may be something for you to think about if this kind of thing becomes a pattern.