Ex Of 10 Months Messaging Me! :help:

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by orlando_bloom_is_hot

why did he even bother making this fake name if he has her now?

 

It doesn't matter WHY he did it. It doesn't matter about his girlfriend.

 

What matters is that if you continue to give him the time of day, then you really can't complain.

 

The point is, he's rude and disrespectful to you. For all you know, he's sitting there at his PC with his buddies, cracking up laughing, him thinking how damn clever he is, that he can "pull one over on you".....he's having a laugh at your expense. He's amusing himself at your expense. He's trying to screw with your head. He's trying to see how "naive and guillible" you are. He's definitely not trying to get back with you. He's likely hoping you'll get on your web cam and show yourself so that he can kill himself laughing about how "stupid" you are for falling for his game.

 

If he's been doing this for 6 months, why on earth have you been playing along? Seriously, block him. Unless you enjoy the attention?

[Arabess]

After reading the whole IM post, I really think this guy is goofing around the net for some cyber-play and you are reading into it because you thought he was serious the FIRST time he did this to you.

 

DO NOT become a victim to that because you are wanting to recreate your memory of your original relationship with him. You are reading into his actions....when there really isn't anything to read into.

 

If he wanted a relationship with you, as far as dating, he would be upfront and ask you out. He doesn't seem to want that though. He seems more interested in tyring to have fun through your webcam.

 

Get a new IM identity....and make some new friends. I think you are wasting your time and emotions on this guy. You deserve better.

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

Get a new IM identity....and make some new friends.

 

i have changed my screen name 3 times and "Jessie" looked them all up and messages me, 3 TIMES i have changed my screen name..

_______________________________________________

 

MY EX: hey why did you change your screen name?

me: uh.. how did you get this new screen name?

MY EX: a friend of yours..

me: who

MY EX: That guy who's in your profile info, "cockeyed22we".. he gave me your screen name.

me: he doesn't even have this name, I JUST CREATED IT LAST NIGHT.

MY EX: oh..

 

MY EX logged out at 1:31:23am

________________________________________________

 

ALSO my ex doesn't have friends that come over and crack up about "me online" because his friends are pot heads and never go to his house..my ex still lives with his parents and he messages me always between the times of (11:00pm-2:00am) and his friends aren't allowed over anyway..he was the smartest ones of the group of losers unfortunately..

 

i just think he "misses" me and maybe wants to keep in contact with me in some weird way?? what do you all think? he used to message another friend of mine "as the real him" (before Jessie was created) and ask my friend all kinds of questions about me.. he seemed jealous if my friend lied and said i was out with a hot boy!! lol!! But now he has cut out the middle man (my friend) and talks to me directly...as "JESSIE"

[Arabess]

He cannot find you if you don't wish to be found.

 

I think you really like him and are setting yourself up to be really disappointed. You are a beautiful young woman....why would you want some clown who is playing games with you? I'd just use his REAL name on the IM and say "HEY _________(his name)....either ask me out like a real man or get the FRIG off my IM!".

 

Either he will respond in the way you want him to or he'll see you no longer want to play games and move on.

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

so should i come clean and say "hey i know this is really you, stop pretending to be a fake person!!!!!!!!"

 

or does anyone have a better line that won't scare him off? i guess part of me doesn't want to end this form of comunication because its all i have left of the 4 years i knew him..i'm just scared this may make him never talk to me again... I KNOW I KNOW HE'S A FLAMING PLIE OF DOG POO....but tell my heart that..

[moimeme]

I KNOW I KNOW HE'S A FLAMING PLIE OF DOG POO....but tell my heart that..

 

You tell your own heart that it's being stupid. Tell your heart that it will ruin your life by forcing you towards a man who's clearly a twit. Talk to your heart and tell it that it should want what's good for you as a person, and this guy is not. Sometimes our hearts haven't a clue.

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

i understand what you guys are saying..

 

i dont want him back at this point.. i did when we first broke up, i tried everything to get him back and get him to see how much i loved and cherished him..

 

but i no longer want him back....as a boyfriend

 

but i do miss him as my long time best friend...and i'll never get over that.

 

is there any way to get that back? the friendship?

 

we did EVERYTHING together.. vacation/hiking/riding bikes/museums/amusement parks/holidays/sleep overs

 

Hell... he was even there as an eye witness to me getting run over by 2 cars while crossing the street.He even rode in the ambulance with me to the hospital.

 

HOW CAN YOU WATCH SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVE BEEN CLOSE TO FOR SO LONG GET RUN OVER BY 2 CARS...AND JUST "FORGET THEM"??

 

Like i said, i don't want a relationship from him, but i do want to know him again..

 

when "JESSIE" saw my yahoo photo album he didn't even recognize me, i look completely different from the last time my ex saw me..

 

I also am finishing school now, and hold 2 jobs since he left...

 

I'm doing pretty good i think.. i just would like to hang out with him again, if that's

what this "Jessie" thing is leading to..

 

we did EVERYTHING together...just the two of us...now he can't even take this new girl out for an ice cream..

what do u guys think?

[moimeme]

HOW CAN YOU WATCH SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVE BEEN CLOSE TO FOR SO LONG GET RUN OVER BY 2 CARS...AND JUST "FORGET THEM"??

 

I took care of my husband, including dressing his wounds, when he got hit by a trailer. He was there when my mom died. I was there when his dad and stepmom died. We're not together. The past is the past.

 

You don't want him to be best friends again. Quit fooling yourself. You need to find somebody else to be your companion because if you bring this drip back into your life, you will try to start up a relationship again. I guarantee it.

[Arabess]

Yeah but....remembering you getting smacked by a vehicle and loving you back aren't one and the same.

 

If you want to continue playing this charade.....what do you really have to gain in the end?

 

I DO understand how hard it is to let go of someone....regardless of what an A$$ they are. I think MOST of us on LS have been there. However, everyone has to get to a point of taking control and responsibility for their own destiny.

 

Every night you are wasting your time with this NET CLOWN....you may be missing the opportunity of meeting someone who is everything you ever wanted in a guy.

 

Don't sell yourself short!

[midori]

Originally posted by orlando_bloom_is_hot

i'm the only girl he's done this to.. his first gf left him after two months, then he was with me 2 years,now he's with this new girl (10 months if they are still together).. i don't think i'm in love with him anymore..but i do want to try again maybe..as friends..we were so close...so so close for so long..just wish he would admit who he is..would love to see him again, if only he would say "hey this is really me!!!!"

 

Look, you've got tons of evidence that this guy is, at minimum, immature, cowardly and devious. Your emotions are still involved, I understand. It's one thing to know something logically and another to accept it emotionally.

 

But this is eating up your time (maybe you've got lots of free time but there are many better uses to which you could put it, surely, than b.s. online chats with fake personas). So recognize the situation, admit you're not ready to let go, and Take Control.

 

If you want to try again as friends, say, "look [real name] I know it's you and I've been waiting for you to come clean but it looks like you've painted yourself into a corner and don't know how to fess up. So let me set things straight: I know it's you. If you want to talk to me, you know how to get in touch with me as your real self. I thought it was funny at first, and then I waited for you to explain yourself, but it's just boring now. If you want to talk, let's talk. Otherwise, adios."

 

You need to be honest with yourself about what you want. I suspect that you don't just want to be friends with this guy, despite the fact that to all objective observers he looks like an utter idiot. Your call there.

 

You further need to be realistic about what you're going to get from this guy. Surely you recognize that he's behaved in a very immature, dishonest way. So to look for him for meaningful answers, or even basic honesty, is unrealistic. If you're going to pursue anything -- friendship, romantic reunion, whatever -- you're going to have to call the shots. You can't leave it in his hands. He's not capable of anything but silly games.

 

Speaking objectively, I'd say the evidence indicates your wisest move would be to block this guy and ignore him completely. Tell him you know it's him if you want to, and then blow him off for good. I think any entanglement with him will only bring you headaches, and possibly heartaches. Why take on a known deficit -- which he seems to be. But I understand all too well that objective opinions don't outweigh your feelings. So whatever you decide to do, do it. Don't wait for him to do it.

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

i understand.. HE is a piece of Sh**..nothing more.. when we first got together he was innocent and young and wanted to spend all his time with me..he was kinda nerdy...was a total computer nerd (i met him online) and even carried pencils in his front pocket...but was hella smart and his friends would make fun of him because while they were into smoking weed...he liked to read novels..

 

his old high school buddies (who he still hangs with) would tease him all the time and treat him bad and even nick named him "homo" he was their flunky..

 

"hey homo where are you we need a ride cuz we got wasted" and he would even answer to that name..

 

he had no job........then no car...and i was still by his side..

 

as time passed his mom found him a job at walmart and that's where he's still working at, and met the girl he dumped me for and now he's friends with all the walmart people and i was kicked to the curb..now he's "cool" in the walmart groups eyes... he's "the man"

 

thing is.. i would go vist him at work everyday, so this girl must have seen me a lot and i never realized it..she knew who i was, i can't remember if i ever seen her or not.

 

what i know about her is:

 

her ex bf dumped her...and "she never got over it"

 

her parents are strict christians and shes not allowed to date even tho shes 21

(what kinda christians are these?)

 

after we broke up..he asked me to come over to his house because he had made a "mistake" and "still loved me" and said "i'm sorry i just needed some time to think"

 

after a while of us talking and laughing and stuff, we were getting ready to leave to go play mini golf and go-carting......

 

then his cell buzzed.... BUZZZZZZ

 

i checked his cell message and it was from the girl at work..

 

she was saying "hi sweetie how are you?? i miss u ya lil' brat"

 

She kept sending all these flirty messages..until i finally *69'ed her number and was like "who the hell are you?"

 

i explained (in a calm voice) to this girl that he was ~MY BOYFRIEND~ and he had been for two years.. she said she was sorry and said he told her "we had broken up"

 

i was even nice to her on the phone which i shouldn't have been (why was i nice to her??) shortly after that she called back and left a long voice message about "how can you do this to me?" "i guess everything u said was a lie"

 

After i told him to CALL HER AND EXPLAIN that we were just having problems..he said he "just wanted to be my friend" then he dumped me again...and got with her the next day..the VERY NEXT DAY!

 

So see her bf (the guy she lost it to) dumps her...and she went after my bf as a rebound and he fell for it...it's been 10 months i thought rebounds don't last that long? WTF!!

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

i'm just mad and hurt that this has happened i guess..it's funny how someone you have been so close to (he was my best friend) can never look back even when u treated them like a king...funny huh?

[Pebbles59]

I'm curious to know if you confronted him? if so, what did he say?

 

I'm curious with this situation!!

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

i haven't yet, because "Jessie" hasn't gotten online yet..

[Velveteel]

Before I read the conversation you copied here, I thought, "Oh, how sweet. This ex-boyfriend is thinking of her and just finding a covert way of finding out how she's doing and whether he's still on her mind." Frankly, it sounds like the kind of thing I would do, or imagine doing, to find out about an ex. But that conversation is way too directly sexual. He's posing as a sexual predator. He keeps trying to steer you toward sexual subjects. He wants you to pose naked for him. He wants personal and sexual details about your life. He brushes off any inquiries about him, and doesn't even bother to keep track of his lies.

 

I think he's a creep. He's playing some kind of sex game with you. Maybe he's become obsessed with you in some way, or maybe he's using you--like Internet porn--when his girlfriend isn't servicing him.

 

I'd either block his access to you, or confront him. You could tell him you know it's him. (Just give him his password.) Or you could pretend you don't know who he is, and just say that you're not playing anymore, that you won't have sexual conversations with a stranger, especially one who lies about his age and background. Simple. See what happens. I doubt he'll continue to contact you.

 

And no, I don't think he's trying to get back together with you. If he had asked a lot of questions about your ex (him) and whether you still cared for him, that would be something else. Good luck getting out of this situation. It sounds as if, on some level, you really do hope that he still wants to be with you.

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

if he has her still (who knows) why does he still message me? do u think he still wants to be friends even after almost 1 year of not seeing me? i changed all my phone numbers by the way...so he can only contact me online..

[jenny]

i think he would like to have sex with you. friends do not play weird and stupid identity games with one another.

 

i don't know why you would want to pretend it's anything other than sexual interest? he sounds like a waste of time to me.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by orlando_bloom_is_hot

if he has her still (who knows) why does he still message me? do u think he still wants to be friends even after almost 1 year of not seeing me? i changed all my phone numbers by the way...so he can only contact me online..

 

He's messaging you for the reasons everyone is suggesting. He's trying to get you to succumb to him, sexually. He is already familiar with who you are, etc.

 

It sounds like you are willing to accept any form of attention this guy will pay you. If he wanted to be friends with you and the internet was the only way he could contact you, I do NOT think he would be pulling all this stuff that he is. Trying to be friends with someone does not mean they do sneaky things online...they come right out and lay the cards on the table.

 

Everyone is telling you the same thing over and over again.

[TigerEyes]

Originally posted by jenny

i think he would like to have sex with you. friends do not play weird and stupid identity games with one another.

 

i don't know why you would want to pretend it's anything other than sexual interest? he sounds like a waste of time to me.

 

 

 

I completely agree with Jenny, here......

 

He does sound like a waste of time...and I agree, just sexual interest is implied here, no true, REAL, HONEST emotion/feelings!

 

Tell him you know it's him, and you're done with his games...

 

...then move on to a new, wonderful man who will treat you right!

 

GOOD LUCK!

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

i can't wait until "jessie" gets on again.. its been 6 months of online games with my ex..next time he messages me i'm going to tell him i know its HIM, i wonder if he will try to reconcile a friendship after his cover is blown, and talk to me as the REAL HIM....or will he simply "log out" once busted without any answers?

 

Maybe he will message me tonight...i'll post what happens after i talk with him, any good lines i can use that let him know, i'm not upset, yes i know it's him but i still want to be friends?

[TigerEyes]

Originally posted by orlando_bloom_is_hot

i can't wait until "jessie" gets on again.. its been 6 months of online games with my ex..next time he messages me i'm going to tell him i know its HIM, i wonder if he will try to reconcile a friendship after his cover is blown, and talk to me as the REAL HIM....or will he simply "log out" once busted without any answers?

 

Maybe he will message me tonight...i'll post what happens after i talk with him, any good lines i can use that let him know, i'm not upset, yes i know it's him but i still want to be friends?

 

 

 

 

[color=darkred][/color]The best way to be is very upfront and honest, and just say..."Jessie, I know this is you, and I'm sorry I didn't mention it when this first began, but I must end it now...I would love to be friends, but I refuse to play these games with you. I care for you, but it is demeaning to both of us to continue this way. At one time, we were special to each other, and I'd like to see a friendship come out of this, but not a sick game. I'd like to remember us the way we used to be, not like this."

 

He will either respect that, because he cares for you...or he will 'log out' and be gone...

Either way, you will know for sure, his intentions...and you can move forward.

 

Good Luck, Sweetie! I'm rooting for ya!

Sometimes men can play cruel games, and you deserve better! Remember that!

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

his real name is ralph but "jessie" is the name he is giving me under the fake screen name...next time JESSIE gets on and messages me FIRST (He always messages me first) i'm just going to say: "hi ralph".....how's that?

[orlando_bloom_is_hot]

his real name is ralph but "jessie" is the name he is giving me under the fake screen name...next time JESSIE gets on and messages me FIRST (He always messages me first) i'm just going to say: "hi ralph".....how's that?

 

that will either start contact up between us...or ralph will simply log out unanswered..

 

i hope he messages me soon.

[TigerEyes]

Originally posted by orlando_bloom_is_hot

his real name is ralph but "jessie" is the name he is giving me under the fake screen name...next time JESSIE gets on and messages me FIRST (He always messages me first) i'm just going to say: "hi ralph".....how's that?

 

 

 

Good Luck with everything!