sweetbilly Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I have a question I need an answer to. But I feel it is more appropriate for the ladies to answer. I recently bought twelve beautiful roses for a girl I admire and left them on her door step; kind of a secret admirer thing. I'm really trying to get her attention I haven't told her that i'm the one putting them there yet. i've done this for six months straight and when we're in our group of friends she talks all the time about it, so i get a good feeling about it. However, I worry I'll be a let down when she finds out, or she'll feel weird about it like i'm stalking her. I'm trying to show her that i'm not like other guys and I would really like to see her. I'm being very patient, and trying to win her over before I tell her. Will this work or will this kill me? does this look like desperation? Or am i just being a schmuck? what would you do if a guy did this for you? would you want to know his name, would you want to date him? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 Your attempts are sincere, but if you are REALLY trying to get her attention, then you need to tell her it's you. Feeling her out on her take for you isn't going to solve or change anything in the long run. I can understand that you fear being let down and/or rejected by her, but you are also not being fair to your own self. If it turns out that she is not interested in you that way, you are wasting your time, efforts, and money. The gesture is sweet, but go ahead and tell her. What have you got to lose that you don't have now? Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 The idea and thought are very sweet... but if it kept up for too long I would start feeling uncomfortable with it. I say you do it one more time, only instead of leaving them at the door, knock and ask her out. Even if she declines she will know it was you and will always remember how thoughtful and sweet you are. Best of luck and I hope she says yes! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Six months is quite a long while to have been doing this. I believe most people would be a little freaked out by now. Perhaps you should leave the flowers on her door step, minus one rose. Later on, knock on her door, introduce yourself as her admirer and apologize for forgetting that one rose. You really must confront her with your interests or she will never know, and all of your efforts will have been wasted. Seeing as I am a male, I took a quick poll from my female friends on their reaction to someone leaving roses in this manner. Sorry to say, most of them would be uncomfortable with it unless it was done over a very short period of time. You mentioned six months, so this is the time period I included in my questioning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetbilly Posted March 23, 2004 Author Share Posted March 23, 2004 Well, we are friends, and she does know me. Do you really think this will cause her to be afraid of me? And if it will, how can I do it with out scaring her. Or what should I do to get her attention and be original; something no other man has ever done. I'm not trying to scare her away, i'm just trying to be sweet and original and let her know that I think highly of her. Women are so tempermental. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by sweetbilly Well, we are friends, and she does know me. Do you really think this will cause her to be afraid of me? She is not freaked out now, after six months of someone leaving roses on her door step? As I said, I asked what my friends would do in this situation, and they would panic. And if it will, how can I do it with out scaring her. The rose thing sounds like it has gone on for long enough, if it really was over six months. Perhaps you should walk up to her and let her know how you feel. Leaving the roses may be keeping her interested, if it isn't bothering her, but it is not accomplishing anything for you. Or what should I do to get her attention and be original; something no other man has ever done. I'm not trying to scare her away, i'm just trying to be sweet and original and let her know that I think highly of her. Women are so tempermental. Don't worry about being original. There is nothing that you can possibly which has never been done before. It is, however, always good to try to be interesting. I think telling her how you feel about her would be a great start. How she views you is ultimately going to be up to her, and only her. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 i agree with faux. you have to understand that many women are raised to be paranoid, and to assume that all the men who approach us may have different goals than we do. i would find the rose thing scary, and worse, lacking in courage. it would be romantic for about 4 days, if i knew who was doing it and liked them. beyond that, i would find it music-videos-in-the-eighties-depicting-romanticized-stalking scary. be straight forward. declare your intentions and go for it! use a productive seduction method. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 I really like faux's idea about leaving 11 roses and missing one but I would leave a little note to something of the affect that : The secret is now out, If you want to be the first to know about this secret, meet me at (some public coffee shop or cafe) at (name a time) I will be the admirer with the 12th rose. You maybe surprised about the familuar face you see. Or something along that line. I'm just doing this at the top of my head, personaly I would try to make it rhythm. Anyway I am a woman and I would probably be flattered that someone cares this much about me (as long as your not leaving roses every day) maybe every 2-3 weeks. To meet you at a public place this is leaving it in her court if she wants to show up or not. Whether she goes alone or with someone. (If she asks you to go with her prearrange to have the rose set at a certain table most places will do this) By adding something about a familuar face and a public place it will take some of the scaryness out of it. Here we go my creative juices are flowing: It's your secret admirer once again, I leave 11 roses just for you. I'm sorry but it's time for me to give in For your 12th rose we'll try something new. Please meet me at (where ever at when ever) So I can finally say How do you do? Feel free to bring a friend when you meet me We can all sit and chat over a cup of tea. I'll give you a hint for you to know I am already a friend that would like to be your beau. Just a silly little rhythm. Use it if you want it needs improvement. Anyway good luck. If things work out this will be something that you will aways remember. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetbilly Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 thanks for the responses, especially jenny and carla. Tell me jenny, what is, or would be, a "productive seduction method"? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 GAWD.....if you would've done that with beer instead of roses.....I'd fall in love!!!!! ..only if you didn't keep my 12th one though..... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 The next time you leave a dozen roses for her, leave a note telling her you hope she's enjoyed the roses, that she's very special to you, and sign your name. Wait for her to call and see what her response is. Be prepared for everybody in the world to hear from her before you do. Only you can know from her respones to you if she's fond of you. Obviously you think she is or you wouldn't be doing this. But don't call her and tell her what you've been doing. Leave a note with the next dozen like I suggest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetbilly Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Arabess, fed-ex flys to florida. I've got plenty of dry ice. And a case of guiness isn't all that much more expensive than a sixer? P.S if you say yes I'll have to pack myself in a box and mail myself there! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I like Carla's input on my suggestion. I still think the most important thing, however, is to let this special someone know who you really are, and soon! If you might have misunderstood me, I did not mean to say that what I think you are doing is freaky. The women I questioned about it liked the idea, but again it sounds like you have been doing it a bit too long for their tastes. A lot of them say that even one bouquet would have blown them away. I also wonder... If I offer a cup of tea to my lady, would she consider that offering her a rose? I mean, it is Red Rose tea brand, and it is a Tea Rose... Just a ground up tea rose. Mmm. Tea. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 more productive: call her. ask her out. spend your time planning the romance on the date itself - unusual location, very small gift, good food, etc. i would hate to see you waste your money on a girl who may not end up being interested in you romantically. i think your flowers are really sweet, but secret admiring is fundamentally passive, not active. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I used to have someone leave me anonymous roses before he went to work. This was Ottawa, it was winter, and by the time I woke up, they'd be frozen dead. I figured out who it was; someone quite intelligent but someone lacking in common sense I think the note in the next bouquet is the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
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