Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) thanks shattered your advice has been really helpful. I do in fact want to get back together with this girl, but I know I can't be the one to actually propose that idea or she'll think it's okay to break up with me in the future etc... You're very welcome.... Well if you want her back, go with option No 3 or something along those lines when you feel the time is right just to open up the lines of communication. It will be interesting to see what she wants...She could either be testing the waters to see if you're open for any sort of reconciliation or she could be just dangling the carrot to see if you will take a bite. But you are dead right, SHE needs to make the first move if she wants to get back with you...and on your terms. She needs to win you back. If she loves you enough she will - if not, her loss. I truly hope it works out in your favour, keep us updated :) Edited January 31, 2011 by Shatter3d Bloody typo's !! Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Another great 'reaction' text would be: "You broke up with him. Please stop texting my boyfriend." But THAT might be counter productive. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Another great 'reaction' text would be: "You broke up with him. Please stop texting my boyfriend." But THAT might be counter productive. Bahahahah that would be a KILLER !! I like the way you think tho !! If you didnt want to get back with her and wanted a lil revenge, that would be an AWESOME reply Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Bahahaha you guys are terrible ;P =]. Lol well I have a feeling these updates will be coming for a while. Now I got a message on facebook basically "email" since we don't use that. "Hey.. We haven't talked in a while and I was just wondering how you are. But you're not responding to my texts? What's up?" Analysis, advice? Anything really Edited January 31, 2011 by gator12 hahaha funy posts Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Hmmm you know what would be an absolute corker right now? If you de-friended her on facebook. She would go NUTS !!! This is a hard one, she is obviously desperate for you to reply... OK, so this is the 4th time she has tried to make contact.... I think (in my opinion) its time to respond with something short, courteous and to the point. Something along the lines of: "Yeah it's been a while, I'm doing really well, sorry I havent responded been busy" Thats it, dont ask her how she is doing or anything like that. Short n sweet. Edited January 31, 2011 by Shatter3d another freakin typo Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Hmmm you know what would be an absolute corker right now? If you de-friended her on facebook. She would go NUTS !!! This is a hard one, she is obviously desperate for you to reply... OK, so this is the 4th time she has tried to make contact.... I think (in my opinion) its time to respond with something short, courteous and to the point. Something along the lines of: "Yeah it's been a while, I'm doing really well, sorry I havent responded been busy" Thats it, dont ask her how she is doing or anything like that. Short n sweet. LMAO at the defriending her, I literally laughed for a minute at that. though it may be slightly detrimental towards my goal But yea I think it's about that time too, I think I'll wait until the end of tomorrow at the soonest though. Link to post Share on other sites
Nkognito Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 She's dangling a carrot in front of your face. All of this, text, facebook contact attempts are MEASLY! Are you really worth that much? Are you that big of a doormat? I hate to be blunt but this girl should be out of your life. There should not be any contact with her at all if you are not married or have kids or share finances. Her number should have been wiped, she should have been kicked off facebook and you should have went no contact like red october. People have already said it but it seems you're asking for help but not getting the answer you want. So go ahead reply all you want. Wait for her to get off what ever crotch persuaded her from you in the first place and let her come back and make you miserable again when she leaves a week later. So to reiterate what others have said and what most of the threads here that have some poor sap crying over a girl he thought he could work a relationship problem out by means of facebook or text. DO NOT CONTACT HER! The fact is you are worth a phone call, we all are and if she can't give you that then its not worth this thread to keep figuring a way to reconcile using facebook or text. Link to post Share on other sites
Google1000 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 DO NOT RESPOND!! She is getting more and more frustrated that you aren't responding. That is a GOOD thing. Why? Because not only is it preventing her from healing, but she will eventually realize that she has lost control of the situation. Just ignore her. I know how hard it is, but ignoring her will only make her want you more. Don't be her puppet. I made that mistake with my ex, and I never got her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) DO NOT RESPOND!! She is getting more and more frustrated that you aren't responding. That is a GOOD thing. Why? Because not only is it preventing her from healing, but she will eventually realize that she has lost control of the situation. Just ignore her. I know how hard it is, but ignoring her will only make her want you more. Don't be her puppet. I made that mistake with my ex, and I never got her back. But wouldn't she be healed by now? I mean it's 2 1/2 months later and she also had the jump considering she was the dumper whih means she obviously put some thought into the breakup? And I get what all of you guys are saying about her losing control, and the fact is she doesn't have it right now and I'm pretty sure she knows. Anyways I'm actualy going back to town this weekend so if she's interested in seeing me then she'll probably end up giving me a call, oo well if she's not, her loss. I know how strictly i should follow NC or w/e trust me I've read A LOT of these threads lol. But my problem is at what point do you stop no contact at what point do you respond to them, because eventually they will give up I mean all people do. And don't give me that well then she's not good enough for you crap, it's like us when we get dumped, eventually we give up and move on etc. I mean when is enough enough? Edited January 31, 2011 by gator12 Link to post Share on other sites
Nkognito Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 You're not seeing the point. If you make yourself easily available through facebook, text or something other than a phone call then you're a doormat to her. Nothing more than a emotional security blanket for her to run back to until she bolts again. I don't know how to get this to you in a way you will understand it clearly but this is not some animosity from those who have been dumped. This advice is from reading peoples threads and LEARNING from their mistakes. Girls DO NOT calculate, they react with emotions. She is not testing the waters, she is being SELFISH. This is why you keep to no contact but right now you are biting the bait. Don't be lured in by these small attempts to reach you. She knows your number, she is texting you so what the heck is wrong with a phone call? Simple.....you are not worth talking to because she wants you to feed her ego. all I can say is good luck but since you keep deflecting peoples advice then I am just not going to offer it. But it brings me to the quote, "It's good that history repeats itself, because most people don't listen the first time around". Link to post Share on other sites
Xewkija Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Not trying to hi-jack the thread but this is good information to know. However what if my ex started this with the texting and for 5 years she knew I hated talking on the phone and after all the attempts she tried texting me saying hi and I don't answer and at the end I tell her "If I were so important how come you never tried calling me?" and she comes back by saying "After 5 years you always hated talking on the phone and always wanted me to text you" what would I say after..? This is hypothetically speaking Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 You're not seeing the point. If you make yourself easily available through facebook, text or something other than a phone call then you're a doormat to her. Nothing more than a emotional security blanket for her to run back to until she bolts again. I don't know how to get this to you in a way you will understand it clearly but this is not some animosity from those who have been dumped. This advice is from reading peoples threads and LEARNING from their mistakes. Girls DO NOT calculate, they react with emotions. She is not testing the waters, she is being SELFISH. This is why you keep to no contact but right now you are biting the bait. Don't be lured in by these small attempts to reach you. She knows your number, she is texting you so what the heck is wrong with a phone call? Simple.....you are not worth talking to because she wants you to feed her ego. all I can say is good luck but since you keep deflecting peoples advice then I am just not going to offer it. But it brings me to the quote, "It's good that history repeats itself, because most people don't listen the first time around". I understand what you're saying incognito I really do which is why I am not responding to her until she calls. I haven't responded to her yet I'm not deflecting your advice I am following it to a tee but anyways I need new advice now. Lol she just called me I didn't answer so what's the advice now. I mean at what point is it okay to call her back I mean she's called now do I wait for a voicemail or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Nkognito Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I need new advice now. Lol she just called me I didn't answer so what's the advice now. I mean at what point is it okay to call her back I mean she's called now do I wait for a voicemail or what? Well she called so that is the best sign. You're a challenge now and the ball is pretty much in your court. Considering where you have come from and what she has put you thru, this all needs to be on your terms and not hers. 24 hours is what I would give it for a reply. I would call back, the next day. Let her know you were tied up and had some free time to see what she needed. Keep the conversation to less than 2 minutes. If you can let her know you have to run somewhere and need to go. Then before letting her go tell her to meet you for coffee or brunch somewhere (you choose the spot and time). Then when the meeting comes, be casual, keep it to 45 minutes, possibly glance at least once, if she askes, tell her you have some errands to tend to. What I wrote above is not a game or mind tricks being played. Its just you keeping the mystery alive and keeping her intrigued. If Don Ho where to chime in he would tell you, "Unless she is standing at your door pleading you to take her back then she is not being serious". Right now she might have regret, she might miss you, she might find the guys she dates dont compare. It's not up to you to drill "her loss" into her head but it is up to you to show her that you can move on. Listen to your gut, act natural, if it works then it works but if it does not then at least you tried twice. Link to post Share on other sites
SundayGirl Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I've just joined and find this story fascinating! I wonder what her next move will be?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Well she called so that is the best sign. You're a challenge now and the ball is pretty much in your court. Considering where you have come from and what she has put you thru, this all needs to be on your terms and not hers. 24 hours is what I would give it for a reply. I would call back, the next day. Let her know you were tied up and had some free time to see what she needed. Keep the conversation to less than 2 minutes. If you can let her know you have to run somewhere and need to go. Then before letting her go tell her to meet you for coffee or brunch somewhere (you choose the spot and time). Then when the meeting comes, be casual, keep it to 45 minutes, possibly glance at least once, if she askes, tell her you have some errands to tend to. What I wrote above is not a game or mind tricks being played. Its just you keeping the mystery alive and keeping her intrigued. If Don Ho where to chime in he would tell you, "Unless she is standing at your door pleading you to take her back then she is not being serious". Right now she might have regret, she might miss you, she might find the guys she dates dont compare. It's not up to you to drill "her loss" into her head but it is up to you to show her that you can move on. Listen to your gut, act natural, if it works then it works but if it does not then at least you tried twice. She called again 5 minutes after the first call, left a voicemail. The gist of it "Hey, I've tried talking to you for a couple of days, You havent answered me I don't know why you aren't talking to me. (she does I made it VERY clear) I wanted to talk to you cuz we havent talked in a while", then she went but anyways talked for about lacrosse cuz her season started today and about almost getting hit by a car I guess small talk. Then the last part she sounded really sad but was like "Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you I dont know if youre in class because I don't know your schedule. But call me back when you can. Bye." She sounded really sad throughout the entire message, and I'm almost 100% sure it's cuz of me cuz her facebook statuses have been happy and smilies and whatnot all day. If I respond to this it'll be at least 24 hours from now, and idk why but I'm strangely kind of expecting her to call again tonite lol, cuz she might be think ooo hey he may have just been in class (I was incidentally). Anyways advice, thoughts, anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 This is exciting, Im going to get me some popcorn She sounds quite desperate to speak to you... I'd wait for another call, I'm positive there will be another one. If not, like you said, wait 24 hours and then call her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 This is exciting, Im going to get me some popcorn She sounds quite desperate to speak to you... I'd wait for another call, I'm positive there will be another one. If not, like you said, wait 24 hours and then call her back. As am I, but I am not jinxing myself on this one lol. This is definitly not what I expected her to do lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 This is definitly not what I expected her to do lol. Thats right, because you have now turned the tables on her and now you are the one rejecting her.....as we all know rejection makes us all do some weird and wonderful things.... Link to post Share on other sites
SundayGirl Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 argh I dont think i cant wait 24 hrs!!! lols Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Thats right, because you have now turned the tables on her and now you are the one rejecting her.....as we all know rejection makes us all do some weird and wonderful things.... Tell me about it, the fact is I've been really busy lately I've been having a lot of fun anything to stay out of my room for extended periods of time, I've definitly improved myself and she'll see that whenever I do call her. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I've definitly improved myself and she'll see that whenever I do call her. When you do call her dont overly rub it in her face that you've been having a great time and have changed etc.... this is good that you are doing this for yourself. Like a previous poster said, keep the phone call very short and talk with a sense of indifference....she will soon see the positive and changed you in time, perhaps when you meet up for coffee or whatever in the future... Im proud of you for hanging out this far....I'm amazes me how much self control men have at times, Im envious of it. I probably would have caved in by now..you're going great guns, keep it up !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 When you do call her dont overly rub it in her face that you've been having a great time and have changed etc.... this is good that you are doing this for yourself. Like a previous poster said, keep the phone call very short and talk with a sense of indifference....she will soon see the positive and changed you in time, perhaps when you meet up for coffee or whatever in the future... Im proud of you for hanging out this far....I'm amazes me how much self control men have at times, Im envious of it. I probably would have caved in by now..you're going great guns, keep it up !! Thanks for the advice there =]. Yea I definitly wasn't planning on rubbing anything in her face, that's not like me at all, I'm hoping she'll just notice it by the way I'm holding myself together now. And Shattered, it's not easy at all, I came close to caving who knows how many times, writing in a journal definitly helped me as did all of my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Lol, okay UPDATE, since she does these all of the time now. Now she's got a mutual friend sniffing around about me since I haven't returned her calls. I thought it was suspicious when he texted me out of the blue, but then he asked me about how things were between myself and my ex. Lol i basically called him out on it, and he's one of my good friends so he told me yea she basically told him to ask about me. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 GATOR! Right now, you're so money. You can call her back. Here's what I would do. Text her back. Let her know you have been busy and that you ARE still busy. You have (blank) amount of time to do (blank) on (blank) this week. If that doesn't work for her (I'm guessing she'll make it work ) then the next time you can 'make yourself available' is early next week. Don't tell her why. If she wants to know what your doing that is soooo important just say '(Her name) I don't really even have time for this conversation right now. I'll call you when things calm down.' I may not be having the best of luck with my current ex (I might have dug that hole too deep) but I've been here before. You've given her the gift of missing you. Now dangle that pretty, wrapped box in front of her. Good luck! Keep up the good work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 We have a problem she called this morning. From a hidden number I was still kind of tired so I answered without thinking it may be her. *sigh* we basically ended up arguing about the relationship and such the only good thing that came out of it was that she truely apologized for cheating on me. I guess its back to no contact... Damn I didn't even expect her to call that early how could I have been such an idiot. Do you guys think I just blew it? Link to post Share on other sites
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