ex contacted me.

[gator12]

So the new texts just came? Here's the basic rundown, I am basically partying for my friends birthday and posted a status on face book. Something like looks like I'm not going to sleep tonight. Anyways she texted me about an hour ago. Said hey xxxxx. Then a minute later "what are you doing tonight?". Thoughts. I haven't replied and I'm not going too but what do you guys think?

[selena_cat]

Hmmm..Facebook is a killer isnt it? She probably saw it too and thats why you got the text.I wouldnt reply if I were you,your out with your friends remember. Wait four days if you have to.

Its good that she thought of you but lets not stop there. Perhaps you can recruit a real hottie female friend and take a pic with her on FB. I bet She'll blow your phone with texts your provider will start charging her .50 cents a minute!

I'm bad am I? Can't hurt.

[packers393]

Hey Gator! just read your thread and im really pulling for ya. Can you take a little look at my story? and give me some advice!

 

Thanks!

[gator12]

Yea I'm def not replying to this one. I am still wondering though. She's texting me less than a week outside of our fight. Anybody have any interpretations about it I mean why text now after just fighting with me?

 

Idk and packers ill reply tomorrow when im sober lol

[selena_cat]

Yea I'm def not replying to this one. I am still wondering though. She's texting me less than a week outside of our fight. Anybody have any interpretations about it I mean why text now after just fighting with me?

 

Idk and packers ill reply tomorrow when im sober lol

 

Ok Gator sounds like he's having a blast. Have fun keep us posted after you have that strong coffee!

[gator12]

Lol thanks selena, but no I'm pretty much immune to hangovers always have been, it's kind of nice. But yea the night went well it's always nice being with friends. As for an update she hasn't texted again, but the day is still young. Idk why she would text me though. I mean when we last talked we fought and that was only a week ago. She seemed pretty pissed off at me and now she's messaging me like nothing happen *sigh* relationships are too complicated. I know I shouldn't respond until she says what I want to hear it's just interesting to me that she's messaging me again so quickly. I mean I thought it would've at least been another couple of weeks before I got a message from her?

 

-Gator

[MidnightinMadrid]

Hi gator!

 

She text?? Well thats good new,it doesnt matter why,at least she reached instead of ignoring bc you had an argument. Unlike mine who obviously didnt care,

Oh you know what,remember when I told you about his contacting me?

I dont think that private caller was him,I googled 'fax machine calls' and people had the same calls.

I know I shouldnt care and be positive but I dont think i'll hear from him..

[gator12]

Yea I guess so, I don't expect another text today though since she knows I'm not contacting her, especially after our last fight. Idk it's just weird.

 

I'm sorry midnight i know it's hard. Look though, you're a wonderful girl some guy out there is going to be very lucky to call you his own. Never forget that. You've got a lot to offer and you'll meet a guy who has just as much to offer you, great girls always end up with great guys. So smile, the future is bright.

 

-Gator

[MidnightinMadrid]

I appreciate your kind words,one day i'll believe it then i can forget this guy. Its just that when people say move on i'm like move on to what?

I have to keep being positive,or probably take it as a sign,right?

I still think its good that she initiates contact. I don't really know much of your story,though I'll read it when i have time,but maybe you shouldnt totally ignore her-if you still want her back that is.

Your doing the right thing by not replying, at least not right away. Maybe wait a good while then reply,keep it short,light and happy, thats up to you.

You were having a great time,let her at least know that life is good. Then again Florida is the kind of place why wouldnt one have a good time.

Edited February 10, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid

[gator12]

Yea i know how you feel, eventually you get over that idea of move on to what. But it takes some time to get to that point, time is unfortunately the only medicine for a broken heart.

 

And yea I know what you're saying about maybe replying, it definitly wouldn't be until tomorrow, but then again I was planning that last time and she texted me again before I could, so she may surprise me yet again. Who knows, I'm optimistic but I am not clinging to this hope.

 

-Gator

[gator12]

well i took your advice and sent her a reply, I figured it would show her the lines of communication were still open since last time we talked we fought. it was short:

"Hey XXX, sorry it took so long to respond, we were celebrating XXXXXX's birthday that night."

 

Nothing more than that, just answered her question and kept it nice and short it's been two days since the message so why not. She'll probably respond and then I'll update you guys on it before I respond back to her.

 

 

UPDATE:

Yea she responded in about 5 minutes lol. "Uh oh lol that's fun."

Idk if I should continue the convo or not at this point, I'll def wait on replying back to her and would appreciate any advice. But at least she knows the lines are open now.

 

-Gator

Edited February 11, 2011 by gator12
UPDATE

[SDA]

well i took your advice and sent her a reply, I figured it would show her the lines of communication were still open since last time we talked we fought. it was short:

"Hey XXX, sorry it took so long to respond, we were celebrating XXXXXX's birthday that night."

 

Nothing more than that, just answered her question and kept it nice and short it's been two days since the message so why not. She'll probably respond and then I'll update you guys on it before I respond back to her.

 

 

UPDATE:

Yea she responded in about 5 minutes lol. "Uh oh lol that's fun."

Idk if I should continue the convo or not at this point, I'll def wait on replying back to her and would appreciate any advice. But at least she knows the lines are open now.

 

-Gator

 

Hey man, seem's like she just wants to talk and find out about your night.

 

You could give like a "Yeah we had a great time" or something like that maybe.

[G1R4v2K]

Hey man, seem's like she just wants to talk and find out about your night.

 

You could give like a "Yeah we had a great time" or something like that maybe.

 

Yeah, I think an innocent reply wouldn't hurt.

[gator12]

took your advice, gave it a quick and innocent reply.

 

"yea it was great, i'm surprised you were awake that late." (she's still in school and usually tries to get a decent amount of sleep every night

 

so ball's back in her court again. we'll see where she takes this. i'm making sure to stay pretty indifferent to anything she has to say honestly, keeping my cool. hopefully this goes in the right direction but if not it's back to nc... again.. lol.

 

Update:

She responded to my quesitons I guess, and said "I couldn't sleep =/". It's strange for her to say that, she never had trouble falling asleep before, but I'm not reading too far into it. I'll respond to it in a while I man I do show concern to people, I just have to be indifferent towards her on this one I guess. I'll porbably say I'm sorry or something along those lines since I am and it doesn't give way to caring too much since I'm not asking the root cause. Idk, I hate these games.

 

Well she responded to the I'm sorry instantly. Saying "It's okay. How are you?" Any ideas why she's asking this guys? And I know I shouldn't give out too much info and make myself look happy but not to the point of "I'm better off without you and don't want you back" how does one do this? I mean I can play it cool but could use some advice here.

Edited February 11, 2011 by gator12

[SDA]

took your advice, gave it a quick and innocent reply.

 

"yea it was great, i'm surprised you were awake that late." (she's still in school and usually tries to get a decent amount of sleep every night

 

so ball's back in her court again. we'll see where she takes this. i'm making sure to stay pretty indifferent to anything she has to say honestly, keeping my cool. hopefully this goes in the right direction but if not it's back to nc... again.. lol.

 

Update:

She responded to my quesitons I guess, and said "I couldn't sleep =/". It's strange for her to say that, she never had trouble falling asleep before, but I'm not reading too far into it. I'll respond to it in a while I man I do show concern to people, I just have to be indifferent towards her on this one I guess. I'll porbably say I'm sorry or something along those lines since I am and it doesn't give way to caring too much since I'm not asking the root cause. Idk, I hate these games.

 

Well she responded to the I'm sorry instantly. Saying "It's okay. How are you?" Any ideas why she's asking this guys? And I know I shouldn't give out too much info and make myself look happy but not to the point of "I'm better off without you and don't want you back" how does one do this? I mean I can play it cool but could use some advice here.

 

 

i love your attitude toward your situation, very nonchalant haha.

 

I would let her spark all conversation regardless what the conversation may be.

 

You could respond "I've been good, you?" That's really all you need to say. You don't need to imply your happy she gets the hint since you had a great time the other night. Nor does she need to know if your busy or not since you have been going out.

 

Keep updating I can try to give advice the best i can

[MidnightinMadrid]

You did great,at least your responded and kept it light. You have to its called taking it S.L.O.W. I used to like it whenever i took my time to respond he'd reply right away. Now its the exact oposite.

I was actually googling stuff about ex,as usual i came upon this funny article that said " Cast a Magic Spell on your Cell to get your Ex Back"

I thought it was funny and wanted to tell you.

You wrote in my thread he'll contact me in some point,hope it happens,i'm seeing alot of ex contacted me postings.

Edited February 11, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid

[gator12]

i love your attitude toward your situation, very nonchalant haha.

 

I would let her spark all conversation regardless what the conversation may be.

 

You could respond "I've been good, you?" That's really all you need to say. You don't need to imply your happy she gets the hint since you had a great time the other night. Nor does she need to know if your busy or not since you have been going out.

 

Keep updating I can try to give advice the best i can

 

Sent exactly that message yet, I'm not initiating any form of conversation she's leading this one so let's just see where she leads it too. I'm beeing very nonchalant with my attitude towards her. And even though I still want her back, it's not an act, I'm over that emotional stage which I am very proud of. I am taking my time in replying to her at least half an hour between messages so she knows I'm not waiting around for her texts. I am curious where this is going to go, she seemed pretty upset last time we talked idk, it's almost Valentine's day so who knows what'll happen.. hahaha jk. I'm doing my best to keep info on myself essentially secret from her, she knows I've been having a lot of fun lately and that's all she'll know for now. I've gotta keep my cool see where this takes me.

 

And midnight, have faith that he will, just don't cling to it. Get to the point where I am right now and I swear he will sense that you're moving on and will come right back. Exes have a weird way of doing that.

 

-Gator

[kaygato]

Sent exactly that message yet, I'm not initiating any form of conversation she's leading this one so let's just see where she leads it too. I'm beeing very nonchalant with my attitude towards her. And even though I still want her back, it's not an act, I'm over that emotional stage which I am very proud of. I am taking my time in replying to her at least half an hour between messages so she knows I'm not waiting around for her texts. I am curious where this is going to go, she seemed pretty upset last time we talked idk, it's almost Valentine's day so who knows what'll happen.. hahaha jk. I'm doing my best to keep info on myself essentially secret from her, she knows I've been having a lot of fun lately and that's all she'll know for now. I've gotta keep my cool see where this takes me.

 

And midnight, have faith that he will, just don't cling to it. Get to the point where I am right now and I swear he will sense that you're moving on and will come right back. Exes have a weird way of doing that.

 

-Gator

 

Gator, would you mind looking at my thread "how to resist from texting?" again? I replied with more detail on my situation and I also included a link that describes the breakup. You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders and I'm still on the fence about whether going NC is best or not. At this point I don't think it'll help me get him back but I feel like it's what I should do for myself. It's just that there are things I really want to explain to my ex, and changes I want to show him I've made. But I figure when the semester is over and we're both back in the same town I might run into him anyway...and I don't think there is anything I can really say that will change his mind. I figure if he wants to talk about where we went wrong and get back with me, he will.

[gator12]

So she still hasn't replied to me, it's been about 6 hours or so. I find it kind of interesting, I'm not really bothered by it to be honest but it leaves me curious.

 

The way I look at it is it's one of two things. One, she wanted to make sure she didn't do any lasting damage and was trying to get rid of guilt. But I find that very unlikely because of the last time we talked she already asked me that question lol and I answered it, so she already knew that. And two, she maybe doesn't know what to say, maybe she's trying to find the words and might want to get back together. I'm not getting my hopes up or anything but what do you guys think. I know she's not really busy today or anything I mean she's on FB right now instead of being out. Idk it's just curious, any thoughts from all of you?

 

-Gator

[SDA]

So she still hasn't replied to me, it's been about 6 hours or so. I find it kind of interesting, I'm not really bothered by it to be honest but it leaves me curious.

 

The way I look at it is it's one of two things. One, she wanted to make sure she didn't do any lasting damage and was trying to get rid of guilt. But I find that very unlikely because of the last time we talked she already asked me that question lol and I answered it, so she already knew that. And two, she maybe doesn't know what to say, maybe she's trying to find the words and might want to get back together. I'm not getting my hopes up or anything but what do you guys think. I know she's not really busy today or anything I mean she's on FB right now instead of being out. Idk it's just curious, any thoughts from all of you?

 

-Gator

 

Couldn't tell you. A woman's mind is crazy. I would just do what your doing and sit back and relax and let her play it out.

 

Maybe she's missing you but is afraid of how you will react because she is a little unstable right now

[gator12]

I guess, I mean my responses were open but in a way not as open as before so to her my guard is up. I am waiting for her because I texted back so the ball is in her court, I imagine she'll text again or never text again.

 

I'd prefer the first one and I think it more likely, I'm just hoping it's because she wants to get back together but f she doesn't oo well. I can;t cling to it, I can hope for it but not cling. Women are impossible to figure out.

 

Thanks for the response SDA, all of yours have been really helpful. Anyone else have any ideas?

Edited February 12, 2011 by gator12

[gator12]

I just got a text, not going to reply this instant. She just got accepted into the same University as me and texted me about it. "I got into UF. Just found out." Thoughts guys? Ooo and do you think I should congratulate her I mean I don't think that would be breaking the rules of playing it cool

 

Just kidding, already responded (an hour later). I said, I'm not surprised at all. Congratulations XXX I'm proud of you."

 

She responded a minute later with

"Thank you XXXXX. I'm glad."

 

Again anyone feel free to input, por favor =].

[Eddie Edirol]

Stop replying to her, she is trying to get conversation from you and avoid talking about relationship stuff. Let her wonder, let her feel rejected. You keep answering andshe doesnt get to wonder. At some point she has to stop hemming an hawing and figure out if she wants you or not. Youve been in general contact with her for over a week and she is talking to you liek a friend. This keeps you in limbo and isnt progressing anything . Remember when you start dating someone, it has to progress or someone walks. Cant be lights texts for weeks without some kind of flirting .You sitting texting on eggshells trying not to turn her off isnt going to change anything. i know you know this.

 

Think about it, if you stop replyin to her, but you put stuff on your facebook implying that someone else is getting your attention it will drive her nuts.

 

Do you have any idea why she cheated on you? because if it was something you did, you may be able to keep her attracted to you, if it isnt, I dont know why you would want her back.

[gator12]

I know the reason and I've forgiven her for it. It was only a kiss so that def made it easier on me to do that. Lol, if it was emotional cheating hell no I wouldn't even look back.

 

And I know, I'm not planning on replying to her if she keeps all of this "friendly talk" going. So far she hasn't learned anything new about me. But I've learned that her life is miserable she said "Getting by, gotta keep on keeping on, lacrosse being her only shining light right now..." I thought her life was wonderful lol. Interesting to say the least.

 

Don't worry eddie, I'm not going to get friend zoned, I refuse to let that happen. If this conversation continues with no real purpose other than small talk I am going to stop replying, that'll send her for a whirl. Women are interesting. I know her type, I have a feeling she will never flat out say she wants to get back together, at least not without buildup to it. That's how she's always been with things. Idk, don't worry I'm gonna let this continue with no purpose. I have an agenda after all lol. And she's alreayd come back twice a third time is def possible.

 

-Gator

[Trovador]

What matters is the quality of the contact; you see, my ex texted or called about 10 times a day, we talked about 2 hours daily, we spent a lot of time together, in sum we acted (or rather she did) as we were back in the relationship... but she always insisted we were not more than friends and until the end she denied having feelings for me...

 

Not saying anything really, just that most of the time exes break NC and reach out to us just for the fun of it... so, until things are not clear, let's take our exes' contact for what it is: a simple way of reminding us of their existence (if they knew this is totally unnecesary! ha ha)...