I,m so in love...does he want me to back off?

[nicol]

First of all I must apologize..my english is not good..bacause it,s not my mother toungue

 

I don't know what to do anymore.

I,m deadly in love with my guy friend

which is already taken...he already has a girlfriend.

 

We (me and him) are going in the same class (last year in high school) and we have known each other for 2 years.

This last year we become really near friends.

We always sits together in the classroom...we do all the project works and other assigments together.

We are together in the breaks and we eat lunch together.

He even gives me ride home almost every day because we live near each other.

 

He is a very popular guy in the school. He is very nice to everybody and sometimes a little flirty with girls.

 

In school and in the classroom we talk and heavily flirt with each other constantly...We touch each other..playfully push and punsh each other...he gaze deaply in my eyes when we talk etc...

 

I know that he has a girlfriend whick is very good looking too.

He never talks about her and never mention her most because it,s not his style and why would he? he knows that I know about her.

 

But this week we become mer intimetly closer with each other then normally. We didnt kiss each other our so but it was such a magnetic chemistry between us.

I just thought about that as a playful contacts when he for exampel lifted me up.

 

This Thursday after he drooped me off at me house I sat in the car some more seconds.

I thanked him and said "I can give you a kiss as thanks"

Then I kissed my index finger and gently touched his cheek.

He didn't show any reaction at all. He just joked about another thing. We said goodbye and I went off.

 

2 hours later he texted me randomly about..nothing actually...like he wants to have some contact with me.

We ended the texting after we started to become flirty in the text.

 

BUT...

Next day at the school. We where together in the classroom for 2 hours and everything was normal between us.

Then we went to the library.I sat on a table and he stood up infront of me. He was fooling around and we was just having fun.

Then I was looking down at my cell phone in my hand when he fr no reason at all...completaly out of order says

"My girlfriend...my girlfriend" with really demanding voice! (Like my girlfriend you know..because I have one.)

 

I went ice cold...I felt like he just punched me in my face. So I cut him of..with "I dont wanna hear" with coold voice, without looking up from my cell phone.

And he just "ok" and goes away for a few seconds. Then he is back. He stands really close to me...his face is only 10cm from my face...he whispers about a annoying girl who sits a little bit further away from us.

 

I think he just wanted me to know that he still is not singel. and that we still can remain be friends?

Anyway...I,m devasteted...a feel so stupid...what was he thinking? that I,m gonna push him at a wall and make uot with him if he dosent stop me?...

 

I,m act really coold and defensiv aganst him.

We eat lunch together but I'm quiet, it is only he who talks.

Then I go off the table, leaving him with his male friend.

 

We will have a 3 hours long lesson. So I was sitting in front of the classroom waiting for the teacher to arrive and unlock the classroom.

 

will come and open. So he comes and sits quietly in front of me.I ignore him and he waits silently.

Eventually he starts talking about trivial things and I answer him. But I'm still distant.

In the classroom we are sitting together as usual and he tries really hard to get to me. He tries to talk .He punshes me arm playfully ... whispering in my ear about the teacher he tryis so hard....

 

But I'm so hurt, so I just smile politely o come with very short answers and are generally off . In the end it's 30 minutes left of class and I can not stand more to be near him so I just go..home ....

 

So what should I do now?....He clearly dont wanna lose me as a friend because otherwise he would not try this hard...But Now I cant even looke at him without feeling useless....but I dont wanna lose him...

Does he want me to back off? or what?

Pleas I really need some help :lmao: