agardonia Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Ok I need some help so I will explain my situation. I am 23, my ex is 18. I met my ex-fiancee at the beginning of August of 2003. We dated and had sex about for three weeks, but one night at a party I got mad because she was hugging some other dude, and talking with him, so I broke off the relationship. When we broke up, she started seeing some other guy from the party for about 3 weeks. However when I broke up with her, for the next three weeks I did nothing but think about her. So after three weeks, I called her, and told her I was sorry and that I wanted her back, so after making me wait a couple of days she took me back. When we got back together at the end of September, she maintained she never had sex with the other guy, and two days after we got back together, we found out she was pregnant. Since we had been having sex when we first together, without protection, I figured I had gotten her pregnant. So we told my parents, then we told her parents, and we kept on with our relationship. Things went fine for awhile, but then we started having arguments quite often but not everyday. We trudged through this, and then things got really good for a while, we didn't have an argument or fight for like three weeks. Next things took a different turn. She started complaining that I was calling her enough, telling her that she was beautiful, or telling her that I loved her more than I was, and she kept comparing me to the other guy she was with, saying that I didn't do this or didn't do that. I tried to change, but I didn't do enough. At the end of November, I felt like she might be in love with this other guy, and I didn't want to be hurt, so I told her I wasn't sure if I loved and broke off the relationship. But three days later I went right back to her. Things were ok, but not great from the time we got back together until right after Christmas, then everything went to hell in a handbasket really fast. Two days after Christmas we got into a nasty fight because her mom had invited herself to the sonogram of our baby, and my girl didn't even talk to me about it first. During the argument I started to get really mad, so I walked off for a few minutes to cool off, and let her cool off, however this backfired big time because she came into my room and started yelling at me, then she flung herself at me and started hitting and punching me. I grabbed her arms in a bear hug and asked her to stop, she continued to fight me, so I told her that if she was going to act like that then she needed to leave. So she got mad, and stormed out of the house and started walking down the road. She called my cell phone from hers, but I didn't answer, then she called again and I said "WHAT!", and she asked if I was going to come get her or not, and I said no at first, then I told her I was on my way. So I went and got her, my parents called when I was half way to her house, and made us come back so they could talk to us. They sat both of us down, and had a long talk with us. But it didn't do any good because neither one of us listened. Anyways, things settled down a little bit, I took about 5 days of space to think, but On Jan 7 she broke off the relationship for good, and the last 2 1/2 months have been hell on me without her. She said I had too much of an attitude, was temperemental, and selfish, I didn't keep a couple of promises (getting us our own place, and buying her an engagement ring). She went back to the previous guy she had been with but that lasted only two weeks, then she ditched him because he was on drugs and she didn't want to be around that, and then she found another guy. He is 18, lives at home with his mom, and sister, has no car, has no job, and refuses to even try to find work. I have tried to get her back, and prove to her that I love her, and that I will straighten up, but it only makes her hate me more, or at least it appears that way. Now it is to the point even though I have not talked to her, gone around her, or tried in way shape or form to see, talk, or be around her, but she has gone and filed a restraining order against me. I have avoided being served so far, and as long as I stay away, she won't be able to renew. Amidst all this, I really love her, and I still would like another chance for the relationship to work. Most of her family likes me and would like for us to work things out, but I am really worried. I have a few theories, but it just gets me all worked up emotionally. But here they are. 1.) She just wants some space to give me time to grow up 2.) She is testing me to see if I am going to grow up 3.) She really is mad at me and truly hates me 4.) She is doing to make me suffer for the time being but will come back later down the road. I have one last plan of action that I will try but not until my daughter is born, that way it won't stress my ex out, and because of the emotional state she is in from being pregnant. Here is my plan. When I get called to the hospital, I am going to take with me an engagement ring, 2 dozen roses, a box of chocolates, an outfit for the baby, and a sorry-i-was-a-jerk card, apologize to her and ask for her forgiveness, and a second chance. I truly love this woman with all my heart, and think about her 24/7, and I would do anything within my power to prove it to her, and to earn a second chance. If anu of you have any thoughts, suggestions, that may be able to help me accomplish this I would appreciate it. Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 My only advice is to ask for a paternity test as soon as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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