women : would you date/marry a guy who paid for sex when he was single

[denise_xo]

What this thread has told me, is that I should never tell a woman about my past because she will not be understanding and will judge me unfairly.

 

She will not care about the reasons, all that matters is that it happened.

 

I prefer to be very open with people I care about, but I guess it's one thing I'll have to keep to myself.

 

...just like lots of women are hesitant to say that they have had casual sex because men often judge them on that basis, and treat it as a deal breaker in terms of selecting a partner for a LTR. Those men often don't care how it happened, either. They work on the principle that past actions predict future behaviours, and according to the values they themselves hold, they assume from that information that they and the women in question are not compatible in terms of values. This sentiment is voiced here on LS all the time. I'm very surprised that you are so surprised. Did you think women operate completely differently??

 

If I told a man I was dating that I had seen several prostitutes, my guess is that he wouldn't automatically take on an attitude of 'don't worry, I won't judge you unfairly, I'm very understanding and would like to know more about the circumstances'. Some men might react that way, but I sure as hell wouldn't expect it.

 

Would you offer that attitude to a woman you were dating who told you she had seen male prostitutes on several occasions?

[Cee]

Sex with prostitutes is a red flag for sex addiction. So I would probably pass if he had multiple encounters. However, if a man undergone a recovery process, I would date such a man even if he slept with a lot of women.

 

Btw, my father's first time was with a prostitute. He was 19, in the Army, and a virgin. His army buddies insisted he get laid. My dad was uber geeky and socially awkward so I don't fault him for doing that.

 

I'm glad my mom chose to be with him even though he had slept with at least one prostitute. Else, I wouldn't be born. And my dad was the sweetest and most faithful man around.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Cee

[sweetjasmine]

What this thread has told me, is that I should never tell a woman about my past because she will not be understanding and will judge me unfairly.

 

First of all, you should find a woman who doesn't care about your path. They do exist, and it's a better alternative to getting angry at women who don't think you're compatible with them.

 

And second, what's unfair about anything that I wrote?

[Eeyore79]

To add my two cents... I also would not want to date a man who had been with prostitutes in the past. Even if it was only one time with one prostitute, I would still not want to date him.

 

I feel that anyone who has paid for sex is capable of detaching sex from emotion, and therefore is not a match for me (I would feel the same about a man who had multiple one night stands but didn't pay for it). I would never be able to get the thought of him being with a hooker out of my mind - it would make him seem seedy and dirty. I would also worry that he might do it again at some point, which would put me at risk of disease.

 

I also feel that the man in question must not be morally upstanding if he can't see the obvious issues with financially enabling prostitution and all of its surrounding problems (drug addiction, human trafficking, violence, etc). The fact is, nobody wants to sell their body for sex (Yes, I know that they choose to do it, but they wouldn't do it if they didn't have to) so using a prostitute is basically taking advantage of someone else's miserable situation. I once declined to date a man because I found out in conversation that he previously received a "happy ending" from a poor masseuse who needed the money; I felt that he took advantage of her situation and it put me off him.

 

Everyone has a past, and I am happy to date men who have previously had safe sex in the context of a loving relationship. Any man who has had sex outside of a relationship is not the man for me, end of story.

[Lauriebell82]

What this thread has told me, is that I should never tell a woman about my past because she will not be understanding and will judge me unfairly.

 

She will not care about the reasons, all that matters is that it happened.

 

I prefer to be very open with people I care about, but I guess it's one thing I'll have to keep to myself.

 

I don't think any woman on this thread have said that ALL women everywhere will react negatively or be turned off by men who have slept with prostitutes. I have a friend who was a stripper for a period of time, she is very sexually liberal and would not care about a man having slept with prostitutes.

 

Lying about your past has a way of coming back to haunt you, I would rather a guy be honest with me about his past then for me to find out at a later date..that would be much worse.

 

Basically you are just saying that now you have to lie about yourslef and it's our (women) fault you have to do so. That's rather immature IMO.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Lauriebell82

[Taramere]

What this thread has told me, is that I should never tell a woman about my past because she will not be understanding and will judge me unfairly.

 

She will not care about the reasons, all that matters is that it happened.

 

I prefer to be very open with people I care about, but I guess it's one thing I'll have to keep to myself.

 

There's no point in people here telling lies in order to reassure you that you won't be judged on your past. I suggest you'd look again at the post denise wrote earlier.

 

It would depend on the man. I might do. But the following would have to be in place:

 

1) He would have to accept the same past behaviour from a female partner.

2) It would have to be a one- or two off, not a pattern over time.

3) He would have to be able to reflect upon that experience and place it in a framework that goes beyond his own sexual desires.

 

That strikes me as a very fair approach. She would be prepared to try to understand, but it would be conditional on how the man tended to conduct himself. I agree with her. Out of defensiveness and bravado, people will sometimes disclose the more controversial aspects of themselves in a "like it or lump it" manner which is destined to invoke a fairly intolerant response from other people. If you were wanting to disclose this aspect of your past to a woman I'd suggest that

 

a) you do a bit of groundwork by finding out first what her attitudes to prostitution are. Working it into the conversation by maybe making reference to an article you'd read in a newspaper about this.

b) you accept that she is entitled to her own views and values, and that she isn't under any obligation to alter them in order to make you feel unconditionally loved and accepted

c) you disclose it in a way that indicates how you feel about it to the woman. Whether it's something you don't think anybody should have a problem with, and therefore tend to be open about with all kinds of people....or if it's something you regard as controversial, a potential deal-breaker and to be treated by her as confidential information.

 

For me, in this situation I'd be more inclined to extend understanding to a man who made conscious efforts to avoid double standards (I don't think any of us can avoid hypocrisy altogether - but we can, at least, make the effort). Also, I'd be concerned that he was going to be the kind of "take me or leave me, everybody!" guy who might blurt out all kinds of controversial aspects about himself in situations that would result in me feeling humiliated in front of my friends. Take me or leave me always sounds fine in theory, but in practice I think we have to allow for others' valid concerns about the more leaveable aspects of ourselves.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Taramere

[Duckduckgoose]

What this thread has told me, is that I should never tell a woman about my past because she will not be understanding and will judge me unfairly.

 

She will not care about the reasons, all that matters is that it happened.

 

I prefer to be very open with people I care about, but I guess it's one thing I'll have to keep to myself.

 

Or just date a prostitute. Problem solved

[somedude81]

...just like lots of women are hesitant to say that they have had casual sex because men often judge them on that basis, and treat it as a deal breaker in terms of selecting a partner for a LTR. Those men often don't care how it happened, either. They work on the principle that past actions predict future behaviours, and according to the values they themselves hold, they assume from that information that they and the women in question are not compatible in terms of values. This sentiment is voiced here on LS all the time. I'm very surprised that you are so surprised. Did you think women operate completely differently??

The problem is that you are equating seeing an occasional prostitute with having lots of casual sex. The two are completely different.

 

If the man in question saw a prostitute any more than once every couple of months, then there might be an issue.

 

Once again I'll bring this up. If I were a woman, I'd be more concerned about cheating from a man that has a lot of casual sex and may have cheated in his relationships then a guy who saw an escort a couple times a year and didn't do the casual sex thing.

 

If I told a man I was dating that I had seen several prostitutes, my guess is that he wouldn't automatically take on an attitude of 'don't worry, I won't judge you unfairly, I'm very understanding and would like to know more about the circumstances'. Some men might react that way, but I sure as hell wouldn't expect it.

 

Would you offer that attitude to a woman you were dating who told you she had seen male prostitutes on several occasions?

Women can get sex extremely easy so them using a gigolo is ridiculous. There would have to be something very wrong with her to need to use one.

Sex with prostitutes is a red flag for sex addiction. So I would probably pass if he had multiple encounters. However, if a man undergone a recovery process, I would date such a man even if he slept with a lot of women.

And that is the key. How many times and how often.

Btw, my father's first time was with a prostitute. He was 19, in the Army, and a virgin. His army buddies insisted he get laid. My dad was uber geeky and socially awkward so I don't fault him for doing that.

 

I'm glad my mom chose to be with him even though he had slept with at least one prostitute. Else, I wouldn't be born. And my dad was the sweetest and most faithful man around.

Yup, I can relate to being geeky and socially awkward.

 

And as with your father, being with a prostitute does not mean he can not be a sweet and faithful man.

First of all, you should find a woman who doesn't care about your path. They do exist, and it's a better alternative to getting angry at women who don't think you're compatible with them.

As hard as it is to find a woman, I'm not going to be stupid and lessen my odds even further.

I've seen plenty of reasons listed here...I gave MY reason, being that it would make me worry about his ability to be faithful; aside from that, it would just make me uncomfortable thinking about it. I give the guy credit for being honest about it, but that doesn't mean I'd have to be okay with it.

While I have already talked about being faithful; making you feel uncomfortable is something I can't defend.

 

And that's probably what it is all about.

 

There is nothing I could really say to make a woman less uneasy about it. So it's just something that should not even be brought up.

To add my two cents... I also would not want to date a man who had been with prostitutes in the past. Even if it was only one time with one prostitute, I would still not want to date him.

 

I feel that anyone who has paid for sex is capable of detaching sex from emotion, and therefore is not a match for me

Uh, it's something ALL men can do.

 

I also feel that the man in question must not be morally upstanding if he can't see the obvious issues with financially enabling prostitution and all of its surrounding problems (drug addiction, human trafficking, violence, etc). The fact is, nobody wants to sell their body for sex (Yes, I know that they choose to do it, but they wouldn't do it if they didn't have to) so using a prostitute is basically taking advantage of someone else's miserable situation. I once declined to date a man because I found out in conversation that he previously received a "happy ending" from a poor masseuse who needed the money; I felt that he took advantage of her situation and it put me off him.

There are many women who turn to escorting because they know they can make a lot of money from a very small amount of work.

 

Of course I am aware of the dark side. Generally the really troubled ones walk the streets.

I don't think any woman on this thread have said that ALL women everywhere will react negatively or be turned off by men who have slept with prostitutes. I have a friend who was a stripper for a period of time, she is very sexually liberal and would not care about a man having slept with prostitutes.

The vast majority of women who posted have said they would not date a man who has done it. So why would I take that chance with a girl I meet in real life?

 

There is absolutely no way that telling the truth about an escort can be beneficial.

 

That's why most men won't admit to it.

[collegeguy_24]

My question is why the hell this would come up in conversation anyway? If a woman is dating a nice a guy, she really likes, she believes they are fully compatible and could even spend her life with him some day, why ask this question if you are going to throw everything you like about him out the window and judge him based on this alone?

 

Personally, asking a guy if he has been with a prostitute should not come up in conversation, ever, just like a guy should never ask a woman how many sexual partners she's had. There are things that just don't need to come out, ever.

[denise_xo]

The problem is that you are equating seeing an occasional prostitute with having lots of casual sex. The two are completely different.

 

If the man in question saw a prostitute any more than once every couple of months, then there might be an issue.

 

I am not equating prostitution with casual sex. The underlying similarity in my two examples is that people will assess someone, and their potential compatibility in a relationship, based on their past behaviour.

 

That casual sex is more of an issue than someone seeing a prostitute every couple of months, is your personal opinion which isn't generally shared by everyone.

 

 

Women can get sex extremely easy so them using a gigolo is ridiculous. There would have to be something very wrong with her to need to use one.

.

 

No, not all women can get sex easily (unless you demand that they should be willing to sleep with absolutely anyone). But again you're missing the underlying the point, which is that you should be ready to accept the same behaviour from your partner as you do from yourself. Would you? I don't at all buy your assumption that there's something 'wrong' with a woman who uses a prostitute, but not with a man who does the same.

Edited January 30, 2011 by denise_xo

[somedude81]

I am not equating prostitution with casual sex. The underlying similarity in my two examples is that people will assess someone, and their potential compatibility in a relationship, based on their past behaviour.

 

That casual sex is more of an issue than someone seeing a prostitute every couple of months, is your personal opinion which isn't generally shared by everyone.

So you are saying that a man who saw a prostitute a few times a year, is worse than one who has a lot of casual sex?

 

I'm not trying to argue, just getting the info.

No, not all women can get sex easily (unless you demand that they should be willing to sleep with absolutely anyone). But again you're missing the underlying the point, which is that you should be ready to accept the same behaviour from your partner as you do from yourself. Would you? I don't at all buy your assumption that there's something 'wrong' with a woman who uses a prostitute, but not with a man who does the same.

Uh, try it. I bet you and most of the women reading this thread, can get laid from almost whomever they want, whenever they want. Celebrities and men in relationships, excluded.

 

Men and women don't play the by the same rules when it comes to dating and sex. It's simply much easier for women.

My question is why the hell this would come up in conversation anyway? If a woman is dating a nice a guy, she really likes, she believes they are fully compatible and could even spend her life with him some day, why ask this question if you are going to throw everything you like about him out the window and judge him based on this alone?

 

Personally, asking a guy if he has been with a prostitute should not come up in conversation, ever, just like a guy should never ask a woman how many sexual partners she's had. There are things that just don't need to come out, ever.

You're right that it shouldn't come up, but it still does.

 

I've actually been asked a few times how I lost my virginity. One was a girl that I was "dating" and the other times was in a conversation with a couple of girls and they were talking about sex. It was three separate groups.

 

I was honest the first couple of times, and for the rest, I just made a story up.

[denise_xo]

So you are saying that a man who saw a prostitute a few times a year, is worse than one who has a lot of casual sex?

 

Yes, my general personal preference is someone who has engaged in casual sex rather than buying sex from a prostitute. As I said in my first point, exactly how I'd view it in a specific situation would depend on the man and the context, based on the factors I outlined.

 

[quote=somedude81;3222391

Men and women don't play the by the same rules when it comes to dating and sex. It's simply much easier for women.Y.

 

This is exactly the sentiments that I am extremely hesitant in accepting, because they usually lead to 'truths' like 'women who sleep around are whores, but men who do it are just being men'. Or whatever. One of the things I check out pretty quickly when I get to know a potential partner, is whether he applies different criteria and standards to women than he does to himself on issues such as promiscuity and casual sex. If he thinks he can judge women according to stricter standards than he applies to himself, he's out.

[Eeyore79]

The problem is that you are equating seeing an occasional prostitute with having lots of casual sex. The two are completely different.

In my mind they are the same in the sense that the man in question is willing to have sex with someone he isn't in a relationship with. Despite your assertions, not all men detach sex from emotion; I want a man who sees sex as something special to be enjoyed in an exclusive relationship with someone he cares about.

 

Overall I would still see prostitution as being worse than casual sex; at least in casual sex his partner would have been willing! I can't imagine how a guy could enjoy sticking his penis in a woman when he knows she doesn't want it and is just gritting her teeth and thinking of the money. Buying sex from a woman who doesn't want you isn't the same as sharing a pleasurable experience with a willing partner. Also I have no idea how a guy could have sex with a hooker and not be worried about catching diseases; to me that just smacks of irresponsibility and immaturity.

 

As hard as it is to find a woman, I'm not going to be stupid and lessen my odds even further.

So you're going to lie about your past because women won't like the truth? Call me crazy, but that doesn't exactly seem like a good basis for a trusting, loving, lasting relationship

 

 

My question is why the hell this would come up in conversation anyway? If a woman is dating a nice a guy, she really likes, she believes they are fully compatible and could even spend her life with him some day, why ask this question if you are going to throw everything you like about him out the window and judge him based on this alone?

People have deal breakers on which they are not willing to compromise. For example, I don't care how great a guy is, if he has kids I immediately rule him out - kids are a deal breaker for me. So are ex-wives, lack of a college education, and a history of having sex with prostitutes. I always quiz guys about my major deal breakers before I get too involved with them, so I would ask outright whether he's ever been with a hooker or paid for sex, and if the answer was yes I'd end the relationship. I realise he could just lie, but most men who are even halfway decent will tell the truth if you ask them an outright question.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Eeyore79

[somedude81]

In my mind they are the same in the sense that the man in question is willing to have sex with someone he isn't in a relationship with. Despite your assertions, not all men detach sex from emotion;

You seem very naive if you believe that most men are not willing to have sex outside of a relationship. I'd go as far as to say that most men will jump at the chance.

I want a man who sees sex as something special to be enjoyed in an exclusive relationship with someone he cares about.

Just because a man can separate sex from emotions, doesn't mean they do it all the time, and they don't want to sleep with somebody they have deep feelings for.

 

Overall I would still see prostitution as being worse than casual sex; at least in casual sex his partner would have been willing! I can't imagine how a guy could enjoy sticking his penis in a woman when he knows she doesn't want it and is just gritting her teeth and thinking of the money. Buying sex from a woman who doesn't want you isn't the same as sharing a pleasurable experience with a willing partner.

LOL!

 

Did you just channel waynebrady?!

Also I have no idea how a guy could have sex with a hooker and not be worried about catching diseases; to me that just smacks of irresponsibility and immaturity.

Condoms are basically a requirement for sex. And even with protection there is a risk of catching something. But you know what, if the girl wasn't a virgin, there is always a risk of getting infected.

 

So according to you, to be responsible and mature, I should only sleep with virgins

So you're going to lie about your past because women won't like the truth? Call me crazy, but that doesn't exactly seem like a good basis for a trusting, loving, lasting relationship

 

People have deal breakers on which they are not willing to compromise. For example, I don't care how great a guy is, if he has kids I immediately rule him out - kids are a deal breaker for me. So are ex-wives, lack of a college education, and a history of having sex with prostitutes. I always quiz guys about my major deal breakers before I get too involved with them, so I would ask outright whether he's ever been with a hooker or paid for sex, and if the answer was yes I'd end the relationship. I realise he could just lie, but most men who are even halfway decent will tell the truth if you ask them an outright question.

You must take me for a fool. Knowing that many women would consider seeing a prostitute is a deal breaker, of course the man is going to lie.

-----

Hopefully any man reading this thread who has been with an escort, should now know to never expose that truth to any woman.

[Eeyore79]

You seem very naive if you believe that most men are not willing to have sex outside of a relationship. I'd go as far as to say that most men will jump at the chance.

You seem to be judging other men by your own standards; I can assure you that there are many men who don't want to sleep around. In my experience, such men tend to be the quiet, emotional types, and this is the sort of man I find myself attracted to. I would be totally turned off by a man who slept around, whether with prostitutes or with random women.

 

Condoms are basically a requirement for sex. And even with protection there is a risk of catching something. But you know what, if the girl wasn't a virgin, there is always a risk of getting infected.

I'd say you're at a significantly higher risk of catching something from a hooker who's had hundreds of partners and has sex with anyone who will pay, than you are with a decent woman who's had a small number of well chosen partners.

 

You must take me for a fool. Knowing that many women would consider seeing a prostitute is a deal breaker, of course the man is going to lie.

It's about being mature and taking responsibility for your actions: You chose to do something, so you should handle the consequences. There are many things which can be deal breakers, and you can't hide them from your partner and still have a trusting relationship. Lying to your partner is a very selfish act, and personally I'd feel guilty about it, but I suppose not everyone has a conscience and a modicum of decency

[collegeguy_24]

You seem to be judging other men by your own standards; I can assure you that there are many men who don't want to sleep around. In my experience, such men tend to be the quiet, emotional types, and this is the sort of man I find myself attracted to. I would be totally turned off by a man who slept around, whether with prostitutes or with random women.

 

 

I'd say you're at a significantly higher risk of catching something from a hooker who's had hundreds of partners and has sex with anyone who will pay, than you are with a decent woman who's had a small number of well chosen partners.

 

FOr one, I am one of those guys who doesn't sleep around, I only do so in a relationships. I've tried to sleep around, but the fact is, I can't, for some reason beyond me I just prefer relationships, so I guess that makes me one of the men talked about in the above quote.

 

However, something to consider. You said you would rather date a man who has casual sex rather then one who saw a prostitute even once. But consider this, if a man has casual sex with a woman he picked up, he is also having sex, with all the guys she slept with before, its simple numbers.

 

A guy sleeps with one woman in a one night stand, before that one night stand, she slept with 6 other guys, who in turn, also slept with other women, and so on. In the end, it still equal over hundred partners, so your argument about the hooker above is invalid.

 

Its just a social stigma that all hookers have diseases, which is untrue, its likely yes, but the same can be said for some random woman you pick up in a bar.

 

However, you must also take in the settings and environments. I did research on this before posting, to make sure I was right.

 

A hooker walking the streets is more likely to have a disease. However, in places like the bunny ranch in Nevada, all women get checkups for diseases quite often, somewhere like every month or so, so your pretty much guaranteed they are clean.

 

There was more I wanted to post, but I forgot what it was, so instead I will ask peoples thoughts on my post.

[Eeyore79]

A guy sleeps with one woman in a one night stand, before that one night stand, she slept with 6 other guys, who in turn, also slept with other women, and so on. In the end, it still equal over hundred partners, so your argument about the hooker above is invalid.

Okay, so apply your argument to a hooker. She's had hundreds of partners before you even consider who else they've been with; once you add in all their ex-partners the numbers run into thousands. So you're still way more at risk by having sex with a hooker than by having sex with a regular girl.

 

Also a hooker has so much sex that she could have contracted an STD recently and might not know yet. A regular girl probably doesn't have so much sex that she could catch an STD and pass it on before she even knew she had it.

 

Also a hooker will still have sex for money even when she knows she has an STD, because she doesn't care who catches it. I'd hope that if a regular girl had an STD she'd refrain from sex while she had medical treatment, and would inform partners of any risk. So again, you're more at risk of catching something from a hooker.

[Questionis]

Difficult question. Depends on the guy...If he is quiet and not knowing how to communicate properly, then maybe but, if he just wanted to have sex on tap, maybe not so much....

Really difficult call here...

[Tayla]

"Eyore79 wrote:

I'd say you're at a significantly higher risk of catching something from a hooker who's had hundreds of partners and has sex with anyone who will pay, than you are with a decent woman who's had a small number of well chosen partners. "

 

Untrue- all it takes is one partner to infect another . Be it there first time or first partner. So often folks equate STD with those who participate more actively in sexual activity. The amount of times/variety of partners may play some factor but the real factor is who has it before giving it. IT ONLY TAKES ONE.

 

Now back to the OP's question:

COntignent on the persons culture it can be quite common for a gent to have paid for it. No I wouldnt date or marry a man of such nature though, nor would I think twice about the womenizers that seem evident in the different cultures.

[denise_xo]

"Eyore79 wrote:

I'd say you're at a significantly higher risk of catching something from a hooker who's had hundreds of partners and has sex with anyone who will pay, than you are with a decent woman who's had a small number of well chosen partners. "

 

Untrue- all it takes is one partner to infect another . Be it there first time or first partner. So often folks equate STD with those who participate more actively in sexual activity. The amount of times/variety of partners may play some factor but the real factor is who has it before giving it. IT ONLY TAKES ONE. .

 

Sure, but I think Eyore is talking about statistical probability, which presumably would increase with exposure. Otherwise one could turn the argument around and say that it doesn't really make a difference whether one sleeps with two partners in a lifetime or a hundred in terms of one's likelihood of catching an STD. And while the real factor is 'who has it before giving it', this factor is usually unknown in the context of prostitution.

[Cee]

I should have mentioned this before, but 25% of all sex workers (prostitutes) are HIV-positive in Thailand. Global exploitation and trafficking of women is a lethal business.

[Wink Tobasco]

I've always noticed that a very high percentage of married and single men paying for sex. Men are designed to want sex with as many women as possible. They can't get ALL the women they want with their good looks and charm. They will pay (one way or another) for any hot woman that is otherwise not available.

 

Most won't admit, especially to women.

[Joe Normal]

Personally, I would never date or marry a man who had used protestitutes. As NN pointed out, it would show me that he saw women as disposable sex objects that he used for his own pleasure.

 

What about a man who had used women dentists. Wouldn't that show he saw women as disposable tooth cleaning objects that he used for his own convenience?

 

Everyone on this thread has paid people for services. You have paid musicians to use their bodies to provide sounds that give you pleasure. You have paid bakers to use their bodies to make bread for you to eat. You may have paid lawyers to use their minds to provide legal services. All for your own convenience or pleasure. Why is it ok to pay people to buy the services provided by their bodies or minds, if you frown on it in one case shouldn't you frown on it in all cases?

Edited February 6, 2011 by Joe Normal

[Joe Normal]

Hookers are disgusting.

 

How do you know, you haven't met all of them?

 

One could just as easily say that judgemental prejudiced people are disgusting.

[Joe Normal]

That's one of the reasons. Another is that my views on sex and intimacy don't include treating other people like objects and treating sex like a commodity.

 

It's an insulting libel to accuse someone of treating someone like an object just because they buy a service from them. It is quite possible to pay someone to do something, and treat them respectfully, even be friends with them. For example, I'm social friends with my accountant and sometimes go out for drinks or dinner with him, I've met his family and we chat casually outside of work. Am I treating him like an object because I pay him for his accounting services? No of course not. If you said that I was, you'd be a despicably prejudiced libellous liar. It is exactly the same if you accuse a whoremonger of treating a prostitute like an object. For all you know, he could be someone who treats her respectfully and honestly - quite possibly more honestly than the average man treats the average woman in a non-commercial 'romantic' relationship.

 

From most of the threads on this site, the time where people treat others like objects seems to be mostly in the context of romantic relationships - lying, cheating, paternity fraud, divorcing after breaking lifelong marriage vows, using children as pawns, exploiting the law and family courts for personal financial and emotional advantage and so on. We do not look at these failed, dishonest relationships, and judge *everyone* in a romantic relationship by the failed examples, do we? So why do you and others judge commercial sex transactions by the worst assumptions? It is quite possible for two consenting adults to trade sex for money, without having any negative views of the person providing or buying the service. Just because you personally cannot wrap your head around that fact does not mean it isn't true. The world does not revolve around you and your personal opinions, and you have no right or grounds to judge things you know nothing about based on preconceived opinions and prejudice, rather than facts and direct observation & experience.