Undine Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I know. I'm really just wanting to vent here so I don't act bitchy irl. I have a condition that means I get painful neck spasms that last for a few days. It's pretty hard to get your real life stuff done when your neck is out, you move it a lot more than most people think you do, always shifting to balance your head. I can't drive safely when it's in spasm bc I can't turn my head at all and I get shooting pains from every movement. Can't pick anything up without pain, etc. I have seen physical therapists for it, I have exercises I do to try to keep it in check, I swim a lot to make my back muscles stronger without impact. It only happens a few times a year now and I manage with it pretty well, I mean there's a lot worse things out there that could happen so I just suck it up. My husband met me a few years after I had been dealing with this. He has always kind of thought of it like just a crick in the neck, and thinks I am exaggerating how painful it is. He will do a few things to help me out but I am always still stuck with most of the childcare etc. and he kind of shakes his head and obviously thinks he is humoring me when he does do something nice. Most of the time I try to just take some prescription advil and push through the pain during the day and then I use icepacks at night and do as many of my regular chores as I can, I mean the baby needs his diaper changed no matter what is wrong with me. Sometimes I can feel when my neck is getting close to going into spasm and I will ask my husband for a massage and he usually complains about how it makes his hands tired, and sometimes he says he is just too tired and he won't do it. He thinks I'm just being dramatic if I complain about it so I have learned it's not worth talking about. So today he woke up and he went into a neck spasm! He has never had one before and he has been yelling with the pain and super bad tempered with everybody. He is acting like SUCH a baby. I feel bad for him because I know that I learned how to move my body to minimize the pain and he doesn't know how, so I have been coaching him through everything. How to move, where to sit (one chair is better for neck support than the others), how to get the muscles to relax a little, etc. He can't do ANYTHING for himself, I helped him get into a hot shower and got him dressed, I made him breakfast and lunch, I got him advil and made his coffee, I gave him a massage and got him an icepack. I went to the pharmacy and got him muscle relaxants, and now he is napping because they knocked him out. I am doing all of the childcare too because every time he moves it hurts. He yells profanity when he moves too suddenly and now our baby is yelling the same words over and over again . I am feeling kind of annoyed by him because he is expecting all this sympathy and he has never once said anything to acknowledge that he doesn't give me much sympathy for the SAME EXACT THING. I feel like pointing out to him that it hurts me every time I move when my neck goes out, too, but I still have to pick up the baby and change his diaper and make dinner for everybody, I never get anybody waiting on me hand and foot. I am sorry he is in pain but there is a little part of me that feels kind of vindicated, I guess I just hope he will be nicer to me and more understanding the next time this happens to me. I don't expect him to do everything for me that I have done for him today, because it happens to me more often and I have learned to deal with the pain better than he has, but still it would be nice if he would at least give me the massage when I ask him for it and tell him it will help keep my neck from going into spasm. Blah! Link to post Share on other sites
Mavisse Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Oh my goodness, you are a more patient woman than I would be in your situation! You are sooooo not petty; you are struggling through awful, chronic pain with little to no support from the one person you should be able to count on! I'm really sorry that you have gone through this, and I hope his neck hurts for a good, long time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undine Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Oh my goodness, you are a more patient woman than I would be in your situation! You are sooooo not petty; you are struggling through awful, chronic pain with little to no support from the one person you should be able to count on! I'm really sorry that you have gone through this, and I hope his neck hurts for a good, long time! thank you! I am feeling better today. I guess I feel it's petty bc I was reeeallly pretty annoyed yesterday and felt like he was being kind of a baby. But, looking back, I remember that the first few times were the hardest for me, too, I had not learned yet how to take care of myself during those times and how to move the right ways so it hurt a little less. So I am glad I didn't act bitchy yesterday, and was able to help him so much. I will be very angry though if he does not show more sympathy and act more helpful next time, now that he understands better. And I still do not like that he had to go through this himself to take me seriously, I am still annoyed about that. It made me think of the other thread, Why Men Don't Listen to Women. It's not really chronic pain. It does hurt a lot, but now that I know the right exercises, it only flares up for a few weeks out of the year. It could always be a lot worse. I appreciate the sentiment on my behalf but I hoep his neck goes back to normal soon...I have been taking care of him, and our baby, and his niece all weekend now with no time off and I'm tired! He did manage to get dressed and showered by himself today so he is getting better at moving around. I think he will be able to help with the baby/drive/go back to work by Wednesday for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
rachel7475 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Get some vicodin Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undine Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Get some vicodin It is dangerous to mix vicodin with muscle relaxants and my doctors have said they would never prescribe both. Doctors give muscle relaxants for neck spasm, it takes a few days to make the muscle really let go and go back to normal but painkillers only hide the problem they can't fix it. My husband is on muscle relaxants right now. I can't take either muscle relaxants or painkillers when my neck goes out bc I'm breastfeeding our baby. I can't take them anyway if I'm the only one taking care of little kids, need my head to be clear. Link to post Share on other sites
PeachyPink Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 You are correct. People do not understand chronic pain unless they have experienced it firsthand. Link to post Share on other sites
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