I want casual fun

[Mad Max]

And what is wrong with wanting to have sex every two months?

 

 

Nothing, but having it casually is not a wise move for multiple reasons.

 

 

I do not want a serious relationship, and it makes me very unhappy having to go without the joys of sexual pleasure.

 

 

Humans are capable of surviving without sex. In your case, you want sex to validate yourself. You're going about it for all the wrong reasons.

 

 

I love sex, so why should I have to wait to be ready to be in a long term relationship to get it?

 

 

I love sex too. But by waiting until being in a committed relationship, you avoid a lot of problems. Do you plan on having each partner tested for STDs before you sleep with them? This isn't the pre-AIDS era where basically the worst case scenario was a mild STD that could be cured with antibiotics. These days, condoms mean sh*t. They are mostly effective in preventing HIV and pregnancy. With high risk HPV and herpes, condoms mean sh*t.

 

Or - do u think I should try to be in a relationship, albiet not a serious one, and THEN have sex with that person ( even though I do not want to get serious with them, and to just take it slow and easy and not expect much from the relationship)

 

 

Your best bet is to not have sex at all for awhile. You're not emotionally ready to handle it.

 

 

I am happy to see some one in a relationship, if it would make me feel as though I am maintaining my integrity; I just do not want a long term, serious relationship.

 

 

Then your best bet is to find someone that will only sleep with you and get tested for STDs before you sleep together.

 

 

I do not like the idea of spending my life with ONE person, and would rather have several relationships over the course of my whole life.

 

 

That may seem good in the short-term, but it will make you feel incredibly jaded in the long-term. Most people(even if they slut it up in their youth) want someone to spend the rest of their lives with at some point. Monogamy isn't for everyone, but those that can't do it aren't the most emotionally healthy people.

 

 

Perhaps that is feasible? To not want to aspire to be with ONe person for ever, ( as I do HATE that notion and hate the idea of ONE person fro ALL my life), yet; perhaps it is okay to still have relationships, even though I DO NOT WANT only one person for ever?

 

 

Feasible? Maybe. Normal, smart, and healthy? Another story.

 

 

For instance; I spend 1 few years with one guy, and then decide to instigate the end; unless we have a red hot sex life and satisfy each other in all the ways we need, in which case I would consider staing longer.

 

 

Sex isn't a reason to stay with someone. Why would you get into a relationship with someone if you know you're going to end it? Forget about yourself for a second. How would the guy feel knowing his GF planned all along to end things after 2, 3, 4 years because she can't handle monogamy?

 

 

Ultimately though, I bawk at the idea of wanting to spend ALL my life with just ONE person. It really turns me off and I hate the idea more than any other concept in the world; it is NOT want I want, and I SHOULD NOT be looked down upon for hating the idea of being with one persno for ever.

 

 

Then your best bet is to never get into a relationship. You're not fit for monogamy and by you getting into a relationship, you will hurt many people.

 

 

I would consider having relationships though.

[Leigh 87]

That is stupid. So - just because i think it is stupid and boring to spend alllllll my life with ONE person, you think I should not bother with ANY relationship?

 

 

 

I do like the idea of relationships, it isjust that ate my current age of 24, I DO NOT have ANy desire to chain myself to ONE PERSON fromage 24 ---------to age 80.

 

 

I would rather have relationships until I am a more mature age; at which point I would consider settling down with "one" person.

 

At age 24 though, i do not want to only have the joy of experience love ONCE for my whole life. IT IS NOT for me.

 

 

Again, when I am 50 or even 40, I can see myself wanting to settle with one long term partner; just not now.

[Mad Max]

That is stupid. So - just because i think it is stupid and boring to spend alllllll my life with ONE person, you think I should not bother with ANY relationship?

 

 

With your way of thinking, you're not fit for one. You obviously intend to break up with a person over a certain amount of time, simply because you hate the idea of spending your life with one person. You'll be hurting many people with this mentality.

 

 

I do like the idea of relationships, it isjust that ate my current age of 24, I DO NOT have ANy desire to chain myself to ONE PERSON fromage 24 ---------to age 80.

 

 

That's fine. But it's not fair to your SO to get into a relationship with him, knowing you intend to end things at some point because of your hatred for monogamy.

 

 

I would rather have relationships until I am a more mature age; at which point I would consider settling down with "one" person.

 

 

You're 24. You're not young anymore and for someone that's 24, you don't appear to be very mature. I'm not saying that to be offensive, but by reading your other posts you have issues that need to be addressed.

 

 

At age 24 though, i do not want to only have the joy of experience love ONCE for my whole life. IT IS NOT for me.

 

 

But you won't be experiencing love. You'll be experiencing sexual satisfaction and possibly infatuation.

 

 

Again, when I am 50 or even 40, I can see myself wanting to settle with one long term partner; just not now.

 

 

I don't know how you feel about having kids, but you need to realize you're not a man. Unlike us, you have a biological clock. And if you have kids at say 40, there is a higher chance of birth defects. If you do get involved with someone or some people, you're going to end up hurting them because of your views of monogamy. Seriously, you need professional help. Your outlook is not normal by any means.

[Leigh 87]

I cannot have kids naurally because I am infetile. However, I would love to adopt if I ever have the financial capacity to help out a child in need. In fact, I would love to get a lot of money so I can be in a position to help people, such as charities and adopting or fostering children.

 

 

 

And I think it is very normal in this day and age, for women and men, to not want to settle down at my age. I am not middle age yet, and I know a lot of decent, normal people my age, who do not like the idea of settling down for good eith one person. At least not yet.

 

 

Not all people naturally have the desire to seek a long term partner, and stay with them forever, and have children; increasingly, people do not have this desire. It is traditional and while it works for some, it is not fair to say it is right for every one, and that my views are abnormal; many people think how I do in regards to relationships and sex.

 

 

I see no reason to without from sex and be ascetic about it; I see no reason to make myself practice self control because life is short, and I would rather induldge my sexual desires, than supress them simply because humans do not "need" sex.

 

 

I mean, I did not " need" my hair extensions to survive, however, i was very unhappy with my very thin hairm, which fell out years ago and has never grown back thick; I got extensions and now have long very thick hair and feel MUCH better that I have my old, thick hair back again.

 

I got hair extensions, and i go braces, because I WANTED them, NOT because I " needed" them. I could have elrnt to be happy without them, however, I decided to gain the instant happiness I woukld aquire, rom being able to enjoy those things.

[johan]

You are so particular and precise with your requirements, which is fine. Those requirements will be difficult to ever have met though because people are not built to specifications. It seems like you aren't showing much understanding of how people really operate.

 

Not to mention, what you're asking for is unusual and so can probably only be satisfied by someone equally unusual. So don't be surprised to find you're getting a lot more than you bargained for with that person.

 

Kamille is onto something, for sure. But you're probably years away from having had enough frustrating, painful experiences to start considering any kind of introspection.

[Mad Max]

I cannot have kids naurally because I am infetile. However, I would love to adopt if I ever have the financial capacity to help out a child in need. In fact, I would love to get a lot of money so I can be in a position to help people, such as charities and adopting or fostering children.

 

 

I'm sorry you're infertile, but that doesn't change the fact that you have issues that need to be addressed.

 

 

And I think it is very normal in this day and age, for women and men, to not want to settle down at my age. I am not middle age yet, and I know a lot of decent, normal people my age, who do not like the idea of settling down for good eith one person. At least not yet.

 

 

And do you notice that the number of kids out of wedlock and divorce rates have increased dramatically over the years? And many of these people look back years later thinking that they let the one get away.

 

 

Not all people naturally have the desire to seek a long term partner, and stay with them forever, and have children; increasingly, people do not have this desire. It is traditional and while it works for some, it is not fair to say it is right for every one, and that my views are abnormal; many people think how I do in regards to relationships and sex.

 

 

And not all are capable of it either. Many of those people you mentioned are going to be 40-45 years old, either still single or having to settle, and jaded. I have no problem settling down at 22-23. I didn't date or sleep around, but the one thing that seperates me from many of these people is I don't have the emotional issues they have. You have issues yourself that you mentioned and whether you're aware of it or not, they are hindering your love life.

 

 

I see no reason to without from sex and be ascetic about it; I see no reason to make myself practice self control because life is short, and I would rather induldge my sexual desires, than supress them simply because humans do not "need" sex.

 

 

Perhaps you'll have a different POV if you end up with an incurable STD. You can indulge your sexual desires within a committed relationship. Having casual sex with someone you meet at school or at a bar has consequences. You don't seem to be aware of that or simply don't care. You do what you need to do. But you're jaded enough as it is. Casual sex is not going to help you. Long term, it will harm you even more.

 

 

I mean, I did not " need" my hair extensions to survive, however, i was very unhappy with my very thin hairm, which fell out years ago and has never grown back thick; I got extensions and now have long very thick hair and feel MUCH better that I have my old, thick hair back again.

 

 

You did it because you wanted to. But I read your other posts and you're still miserable. So really, you got what you wanted and you're still not happy. See what I'm getting at?

 

 

I got hair extensions, and i go braces, because I WANTED them, NOT because I " needed" them. I could have elrnt to be happy without them, however, I decided to gain the instant happiness I woukld aquire, rom being able to enjoy those things.

 

 

And once again, are you happy? Because your posts seem to indicate that you're not. You can have hair extensions, braces, casual sex, even a million bucks. It is not making you happy. You are miserable and any LS poster that reads your threads can sense it just by reading the first couple of sentences.

[sb129]

 

Furthermore, I also want: casual sex from guys who love my body, and tell me they think it is gorgeous; I do not want to BOTHER with men, who do not want me very badly.

 

This all comes back to your eating disorder.

 

You want affirmation from the opposite sex that your body is 'hot' therefore confirming your belief that you must starve yourself to be attractive.

 

Not healthy at all. Not even close.

[Leigh 87]

Remember - that although I have an eating disorder, I am at a healthy weight - so while I am mentally very disordered, I am at least PHYSICALY health; hence, my eating disorder is not a big deal at this point, because my body is currently at a healthy weight; people with anorexia are in mre dire need of urgent help than I am, seeing as they are actually in physical danger.

 

 

And the reason I want to starve myself constantly, is because I have not aquired enough of the right things in my life, to feel like a full, complete person.

 

I actually am happy on a day to day basis; I am content a lot of the time, because I enjoy many of the moments I have; I enjoy watching fascinating documentarism, I enjoy my lunch and I always feel so thankful to have access to such great food; I enjoy conversations I have with my good friends ( to only name a few things that make me feel happy on a day to day basis).

 

Of course, although i do feel happy a lot of the time, there is an under tone, that I cannot necessarily always feel, but one that is always there.

 

When times get difficult in my life and I have a huge fight ( and my dad and I have a very unhealthy relationship), and when I feel worthless, I DO not feel that I am worthy of eating.

 

Starvation is just a way in which I have strong urges to use as a form of punishment; for a few reasons.

 

 

I do not dislike my body and I actually feel great about the fact it is normal and healthy, and guys tell me to not lose weight because I would look unhealthy.

 

The guy I have lasted mentioned in my threads said the same; I would look unhealthy if I lost weight.

 

So there you do. I can see my body for what it is, and other people all give my great feedback on my body; every sais how fit and healthy I look; I KNOW I do not need to lose weight.

 

 

 

The most relevent issue here pertaining to this thread though, is that I just like sex! And some people, like MAD MAX, do not approve of my lack of self control, however, I do not agree that I am a bad person for wanting to enjoy sex occasionally.

 

I would not have a one night stand, I would get to know a person before sleeping with them, and I would use protection.

 

I do not see what is wrong with wanting sex, and to also wanting guys to tell me I am gorgeous; I KNOW that now all guys find me to be gorgeous. I am looking to enjoy being young and having a firm body and I do want to enjoy the thrill of flirting, and guys saying being turned on by my body.

 

I could lose my body tomorrow, so I want to make th emost of the superficial fun that I can have with it NOW; sex, flirting, and enjoying the afct that SOME guys fond me to be gorgeous.

 

I realize I could lose this element to life at any second; a car crash, for instance. Then I will dig deaper and learn to gainfulfillment without ever having to seek it from my body and the way I look.

 

Until something bad happens to my body, I am very greatful I HAVE a healthy body that is young and attractive to some men, and I am sure as heck going to make the most of what I have; on all levels in life, which includes the super ficial, and having a young and healthy body.

[sb129]

Remember - that although I have an eating disorder, I am at a healthy weight - so while I am mentally very disordered, I am at least PHYSICALY health; hence, my eating disorder is not a big deal at this point, because my body is currently at a healthy weight.

 

 

And the reason I want to starve myself constantly, is because I have not aquired enough of the right things in my life, to feel like a full, complete person.

 

I actually am happy on a day to day basis; I am content a lot of the time, because I enjoy many of the moments I have; I enjoy watching fascinating documentarism, I enjoy my lunch and I always feel so thankful to have access to such great food; I enjoy conversations I have with my good friends ( to only name a few things that make me feel happy on a day to day basis).

 

When times get difficult in my life and I have a huge fight ( and my dad and I have a very unhealthy relationship), and when I feel worthless, I DO not feel that I am worthy of eating.

 

Starvation is just a way in which I have strong urges to use as a form of punishment; for a few reasons.

:(:(

 

My heart aches for you Leigh.

You really have no idea how unhappy and unhealthy you are, do you?

 

Seeking casual sex is absolutely 100% the LAST thing you should be doing.

 

Good grief. Your poor mother, she must be worried sick about you.

[Kamille]

 

 

 

 

 

Until something bad happens to my body, I am very greatful I HAVE a healthy body that is young and attractive to some men, and I am sure as heck going to make the most of what I have; on all levels in life, which includes the super ficial, and having a young and healthy body.

 

Why would something bad happen to your body?

 

Something bad could happen to any of our bodies. One thing is for sure, you're not going to gain 10 pounds overnight. On that front, you can learn to trust your body.

[Leigh 87]

I have stopped talking to the guy.

 

Yesterday, he did say he till wanted sex this week. But I told him i would leave it up to him to ask me, as I would not talk to him; seeing as we do not know each other and have no reason to talk.

 

 

So after telling him that, he has not yet talked to me, and what I am confused about is:

 

If a guy is offered sex with a girl they find to be hot, do they necessarily show their interest?

 

He knows I am: quiet in person and that I have not had sex in a few years, except for that ONE guy at the gym who was a body builder; I told him I am fussy and would rather go without, then settle for a guy I was not very attarcted to.

 

I would have thougth that the fact I have not been " spoiled" , since I have only had sex twice in 5 years, would turn him on ( that I have not gottena round and am very inocent compared to how he has been).

 

 

I have yet to make friends in my new town, so it suchs to have a guy show my initial interest - and then to stop talking to u.

 

 

I have not done anything to scare him off yet - I managed to stop myself yesterday, and have since stopped talking to him at all, and I have not quiet caused enough of a bad impression.

 

 

Can a guy think your hot and want you, and initially talk to u a lot in one day, and then taper off his contact with u, until he WANTS the actual sex?

[ReadyforLove]

Wow, that guy is smarter than he appears.

 

 

Leigh, he does not want to have sex with you because he probably thinks you are bat**** crazy!

[Mad Max]

Wow, that guy is smarter than he appears.

 

 

Leigh, he does not want to have sex with you because he probably thinks you are bat**** crazy!

 

 

I was trying to hint that, though I was trying to be nice about it. This is blunt and right to the point. Kudos.

[Kamille]

 

Can a guy think your hot and want you, and initially talk to u a lot in one day, and then taper off his contact with u, until he WANTS the actual sex?

 

 

Leigh, I get the impression that you think men are slaves to sex. That sex, to them, is like catnip to a cat. In your mind, men aboslutely can't resist sex.

 

Yet, your beliefs about men do not match up with your experiences.

 

But instead of realizing that you need to revise your opinion of men (ie, that maybe they're not slaves to sex), you dig your heels in. Instead of thinking: "wait a second, maybe this guy actually wanted to get to know me?!", you're thinking: "I mustn't be attractive enough. Surely, if I were attractive enough, this guy couldn't refuse having sex with me."

 

But newsflash, being attractive isn't purely physical. It's also about how you act, behave, carry yourself. In this case, it's fair to say the guy is probably hesitant. After all, all he did was tell you he thought you were attractive. You then proceeded to call him 5 times, offer no-string attached sex, talk about him on a website, try to get a hold of him on Facebook, tell him to only get in touch with you if he wants sex. I repeat... All he did was tell you he thought you were attractive. Not to mention he's probably wondering if you have self-esteem issues, so you offered him sex so fast.

 

Your reaction to his action is way overblown. That's probably why he's hesitant to jump in the sack with you.

[Leigh 87]

I called him 5 times throughout a whole day, because he told me to call him, and was in a hospital all day and was not answering his phone; he did not think it was odd that I called him because he was not answering ( after telling me to call him).

 

It was not the phone calls that did it; it was the fact I went on the website and gave away his identity , and then had to tell him about it. THEN, he probably would have thought I was a little annoying; although it did not really phase him, as he is a busy guy and didn't care.

 

I have not acted totally psycho, as in, incessantly sending more msgs or phone calls to him.

 

he just slowly would have become less interested. It is not one thing I have done that was totally crazy, just the over all picture I have painted has made him lose interest.

 

 

And yes, initially he was just interested in hanging out with me, he said he couldnt understand why I didnt have a guy in my life, so I told him it had been a few years, since guys or any sex, and he said wow no sex that must suck, and all he said was " haha I may have to help you out there".

 

I wm a quiet girl so he was surprised that I eas so open about sex, he liked it initially, but he still wanted to just hang out. I turned it into justbeing about sex.

 

I have not created much of an identity outside of my eating disorder. I am consumed by it, and although I have some good friends I talk to on the internet, I have not hung out with people inmy real life.

 

I would have loved to have just " hung out " with him, but unfortunately, I do not feel worthy or capable of even hanging out with people, because I have not DONE It.

 

I do not know if I have enough substance to me or enough of a personality for people to WANT to be around, simple because NO ONE HAS be en around me, no one HAS hung out with me yet.

 

I have not handled myself that well with the guy, but I have not done anything too psycho either; I am going to leave it until Sunday, and work on developing myself as a person.

 

I will feel far more confident if I learn to engage in my hobbies and interests; i really have not done anything besides wanting to be thinner for years upon years.

 

While I do have hobbies, interests, and I know who I am to some extent, I need to put it into practice more, and focus on developing myself as a worth while person, who does not need to be thin to be happy.

 

 

I do not see that while I am working on developing more of a personality for myself, one that I am more confident people will enjoy being asround, that i cannot make small steps by asking people to hang out with me occasionally.

 

I am going to just leave this guy and after a while, once I am feeling better about who I am as a person, I will just send him a message saying " hi, do you wanna hang out on ____"

 

I have not been over bearing with my actual contact of him yet, I just said things and the contact we did have could have gone better.

 

I realize I should have used him an opportunity to practice just "hanging out'' with people; enjoy being around people.

 

I over reacted about calling to many times; it turns out he did not give a stuf about it or even notice; if I had not over reacted by coming on love shack and fretting about it....

 

 

He ended up msging me any way after the phone calls, so there was no need for me to go on HERE about it and make a big deal about scaring him off and how mad I was as missing out on sex.

 

I could have simply responded to his messages, and suggested " cool, so when do u wanna hang out"

 

 

Instead, I came on here, and had to then send him a short msg explaining that i came on here cos I was embarrassed cos I thought i called him too many times, and now ppl have his face book details and that I ne cwas sorry about it.

 

Again, like with the phone calls, he did not care, but still, I should have just responded to his msgs that he sent after the phone call inanormal way, and suggested we habg out another time, rather than come on HERE and make a big deal.

 

 

 

 

Leigh, I get the impression that you think men are slaves to sex. That sex, to them, is like catnip to a cat. In your mind, men aboslutely can't resist sex.

 

Yet, your beliefs about men do not match up with your experiences.

 

But instead of realizing that you need to revise your opinion of men (ie, that maybe they're not slaves to sex), you dig your heels in. Instead of thinking: "wait a second, maybe this guy actually wanted to get to know me?!", you're thinking: "I mustn't be attractive enough. Surely, if I were attractive enough, this guy couldn't refuse having sex with me."

 

But newsflash, being attractive isn't purely physical. It's also about how you act, behave, carry yourself. In this case, it's fair to say the guy is probably hesitant. After all, all he did was tell you he thought you were attractive. You then proceeded to call him 5 times, offer no-string attached sex, talk about him on a website, try to get a hold of him on Facebook, tell him to only get in touch with you if he wants sex. I repeat... All he did was tell you he thought you were attractive. Not to mention he's probably wondering if you have self-esteem issues, so you offered him sex so fast.

 

Your reaction to his action is way overblown. That's probably why he's hesitant to jump in the sack with you.

[alethean]

I don't want to be mean or anything...but I still don't understand why you called him 5 times? If he wasn't answering his phone, why not leave a message and wait for him to call you back?

 

Also, why did you tell him that you put your business with him on this website?

 

I agree with your bolded statement.

[Leigh 87]

I called him 5 times over the period of as while day, cos he said he was very keen to hang out, and I was bored and wanted to hang out.

 

I told him that I felt that I called too many times and was embarrassed, and said that as he already knew, I am very quiet and have not had much experience with men.

 

I think it is totally fine to make a slip up, such as calling a few too many times, and then admitting to the guy " look sorry, I am, embarrassed about calling that many times, I had not had much to do with men at all these past few years and only realized after that it may have been annoying of me to call u so much"

 

 

I told him bout the website cos some person from here got a hold of my face book page, and tried to find him,

 

I just told the guy " by the way, because I was embarrassed about the calls I made to u, I went on a website, which is very popular, where people all go to get advice about men. because I was embarrased with the phone calls, I went on the site, and some one got hold of the face book details of ppl on my face book, and are out trying to contact u to embarras me"

 

he was fine with this; he is the busy type and I can tell he is nto familiar with such web communities as love shack, however, he is easy going and does not think too much about people like me who he does not yet know well.

 

I am lucky that he is a very out going and social guy, so that he dos not have the energy to invest to care too much about little strange thing some random girl does.

 

I am sure I came off as different, however, I have not gone and harrassed him or done anything to exacerbate the situation.

 

At the most, he may be wondering why a girl he just wanted to hang out with, incessantly talked about the sex bit, when he was open to just hanging out.

 

Again, because I have not spent time around people for a few years, ( as in, i can be great with ppl, but I just have not STAYED around people for hours and hours on a given day).

 

I feel that because I have not spent a lot of time in one day with a person, that I do not have enough substance to me to ... be around a person for a whole day.

 

 

I am just leaving it with this guy for now - he said he still wanted the sex this week. I told him to call a few days after Tuesday, as my mum is visiting from over seas; he said 'kk"

 

IF he remembers to msg me on face book great, if not, I will just casually send him a msg in a week or so, asking if he wants to hang out.

 

I won t mention sex again, because really, I actually would prefer to just hang out with guys, and just let things happen naturally, without me pre empting the situation.

[sb129]

Again, because I have not spent time around people for a few years, ( as in, i can be great with ppl, but I just have not STAYED around people for hours and hours on a given day).

 

I feel that because I have not spent a lot of time in one day with a person, that I do not have enough substance to me to ... be around a person for a whole day.

 

Leigh, have you considered starting out by making some real life friends?

 

People who you can hang out with who have no strings attached (ie sex) might help you overcome some of your social problems more than random guys who you find hot.

 

Friends can really enrich your life, good ones will continue to be your friend through thick and thin. (pardon the pun).

[Kamille]

 

 

 

I feel that because I have not spent a lot of time in one day with a person, that I do not have enough substance to me to ... be around a person for a whole day.

 

 

 

Then I think your idea of getting to know people through your hobbies is a great one. You can talk about the hobby as you allow people to get to know you.

 

Plus, if you haven't hung out with anyone for a awhile, why not start with platonic friends? Ask someone if they want to join you for one of your hobbies. Spend maximum 2 hours with them and just relax. Be yourself. Be attentive to what they say. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

 

People are really not complicated. And they don't need bells and whistle (or sex) to find you interesting. Continue working on your self-esteem and hanging out will get easier.

[xpaperxcutx]

Leigh, to get right to the point, you don't want us to help you want us to enable you. No matter how much help people are going to write on here to advice you to take a better course of action, you will never see the light through your own stubbornness.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, to get right to the point, you don't want us to help you want us to enable you. No matter how much help people are going to write on here to advice you to take a better course of action, you will never see the light through your own stubbornness.

 

 

 

I AM listening to people. I have decided to NOT contact him again.

 

I would prefer to talk to men normally and get to know them before even thinking about if we should have sex.

 

 

I am looking to work on my friendships with people- I get along well with people, but I have not been around many people for hours at a time before, I that is one of my objectives at this point; to work my way towards being a pleasant enough person for people to enjoy my company for longer periods of time.

 

I intend to meet people at Uni once I start, who share some sort of common interest to me. Like wise, I am back at the gym running every day - instead of starving myself, I have stopped counting calories, thrown my scales away, and am working on being fit and strong and healthy.

 

I hope that I will meet some guys AND girls at the gym, because they also share that common interest, in bettering their health, with me.

 

Of course, I WOULD like to meet a fit good looking guy who I am attracted to, and I will not refuse it if it comes my way.

 

I believe that a fit guy would only approach me if I am in a mentally stable place to begin with - otherwise I will not convey the right image for attractive and healthy men at the gym to WANT to approach me.

 

I am doing well right now even though it is hard accepting my slightly higher weight ( I am 116 ish now, up from 114).

 

But I enjoy my wine and cheese and I am living in a much better way in terms of my body image and its correlation with my eating habits; I eat more than ever, I eat normally, and love my food, and i still work out at the gym to stay healthy, because I enjoy it, and not because I want to be thin.

 

 

I am becoming a much happier person, and I know that if I keep being strong with recovering from my eating disorder, people will want to be around me more.

 

I certainly feel worthy of peoples time, and a guy who I find fit will find me to be gorgeous, both physically and as a person; the guy I have recently spoken of will not be this guy.

 

I am not bothering to contact this guy again. I doubt he will contact me either. He did say he wanted sex still,and I told him to let me know when and if he wants to hang out; he said he would. I am not expecting to hear from him.

[Trimmer]

... I didn't know that you can be horny and a nymphomaniac even if you are infertile?

 

Are you sure you understand what each of those 3 words means?

[Trimmer]

Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to be obnoxious, if that's how my comment came off... Just thought maybe you were a little off on the "infertility" concept there.

 

Maybe you were thinking "impotent" (although that tends to be applied mostly to males) which can have either/both phsyical and psychological elements...

[Evolo]

oh yeah i maybe thinking of impotent term too. like i said when you are infertile i automatically think you are frigid. but it seems the only thing that's wrong with them is the inability to reproduce but all other reproductive functions/hormonal tendencies is normal.

 

Yet another reason to rejoice in my reproductive health.

 

Sorry to be snarky, datemenow, but young women with fertility issues have enough difficulty coming to terms with their bodies as it is, even when their partners/family/friends are supportive and understanding. I suggest you choose your words with a little more tact.

[waynebrady]

Women are not supposed to have casual sex.