9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Sometimes when someone we love break it off with us we have a feeling inside that maybe this is just a phase or season. It just hard for the mind and heart to wrap itself around that realization that someone you love no longer wants to share their life with you. So therefore you go on with your life and even tho your heart and mind might be holding on to that person. So when the time come when YOU knew for sure that he/she was not coming back? I think I realize it today. My ex and I have really been broken up since Aug 2010 but before then, the relationship was flacky. It wasnt strong for a while and he was already seeing someone else. 2010 was like the final straw of hoping and wishing. We were together 4 years technically and off and on for about a year or a little longer maybe. It was time to deal with it and let the chips fall where they may. It was time to face it. We ended it all for good Aug 19, 2010 and I decided okay fine. I cant make this work. We wind up having a ugly agruement in Oct 2010 cause he was texting me here and there to see how I was doing. That lead to us both saying you will never hear from me again. January gets here, Im thinking yup, I will never hear from him because the holidays are the times when people reach out and Im finally kinda accepting it. In January, I check my email randomly just to see whats what and he emailed me. Im totally shocked cause I didnt expect it at all. He tells me my email was still spamming him(all he had to do was block my email). I just told him to ignore it cause it wasnt me doing it which he knew anyway. He said ok. Again I go to my email after my birthday just seeing whats in there and I see he emailed again saying happy bday. I didnt get the email until 3 days after my bday. I was surprised again since we said we would never hear from each other again. I responded with "thanks ex." Anyway, now that lead to me checking my email more often to see if he would say anything else. He hasnt and I know I need to stop looking back. He is just not coming back. I just need to accept it. It has been 5 months but we have been up and down for a while before this. I need to really let go in my heart. Im working on it. I still struggle with it. Link to post Share on other sites
usagi Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 what!? She's not coming back??? Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 i haven't excepted it in my heart yet wish i could Link to post Share on other sites
Byren Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'm having a hard time letting go... We were together for just over two years and It's only been about two months since we split, but my heart still longs for her. I don't know what's going to happen to us, there's a chance that she might be moving up nearby me in the next few months so I think that's keeping me from moving on, thinking that she might want to get back together IF she moves up here. Urgh, I don't want anyone else Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I feel you Bryen. Its like you really cant move on with your life when you still think something might change. I think after today I will fight the urge to keep thinking these things. Feb is the month of love I dont want to be disappointed so Im just gonna put a end to it this month. Im sure that is best! Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I realised my ex wasn't coming back this month, She sent me an email stating that it's over now and she's completely healed of the break up, She said I needed to know that she don't want a man in her life in that way any more, That she's realised she's not the relationship type. So I think it goes without saying that she's not coming back, Christmas was hard because she bought me presents and that toyed with my mind in a lot of ways, Rather than hold myself back now believing she'll one day snap out of this childish attitude, grow up and eventually want me back, I know there's a big big chance that she might never do that, I loved her truly with everything I had but now it's time to make a real attempt of moving on and finding happiness within myself and eventually one day far away from now within somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I realized it the moment he stopped calling. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 let me tell you just how completely hard its been for me to absorb it................. ...................... ...he got married last month after endeding it only 6 months ago with me..and i still cant believe OR absorb it. its like i am still fighting for him inside. i am just so sad Link to post Share on other sites
collegeguy_24 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I understand that, I keep telling myself that she is not coming back, ever, but in my heart i still holed out hope that she will, cause I still love her, even though we are both seeing other people. The Heart is a very complicated thing. Link to post Share on other sites
2010_Sorry Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Uh.... is it terrible that I KNOW he will come back? I know it sounds incredibly cocky... but I know that he is still hung up on me. I see the way he looks at me at functions for our kids... I recognize the little text messages out of the blue about nothing... I understand him reaching out to me several times a week wanting to talk about his relationship drama. The unfortunate thing is, I have REALLY healed. I also see the relationship for what it was in the past, and know that I deserve something so much better. I have no doubts that he will come back, but we will never reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'm also having alot of trouble with this.. Its been a little over 2 months since the break up. I am pretty sure he is starting to see other ppl. We were together a little over a yr... I try to tell myself its over he is never coming back and that I wouldn't want him back.. But in truth at this point I don't want anyone else.. I am having alot of trouble filling the hole left inside me. I am down more then up latly. About a month ago we were doing the "friend" thing in hopes to reconcile. That of course was a setback. I would probably be alot better off by now if I would have just accepted it was over from the beginning. I didn't want to wait for him to make up his mind a month ago. I ended up saying forget it. I didn't want to wait and keep holding onto hope when he was confused and couldn't make up his mind. I didn't feel positive about it. Like at the end of that he would have just said he didn't want to fix things anyway.. I definetly thought I would feel atleast a little better by now. Link to post Share on other sites
ginastar Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I know exactly how you feel also. I still think my ex will be back one day. But will he? Hes with someone else over me so what makes me think that he'll come back to me???? And I dont even think I want to be with him anyway. Ill never forget how he chose to be with another girl over me and hurt me and doesnt call me and doesnt care about anyone but himself. Link to post Share on other sites
wavejumper Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I didn't want to wait for him to make up his mind a month ago. I ended up saying forget it. I didn't want to wait and keep holding onto hope when he was confused and couldn't make up his mind. I didn't feel positive about it. Like at the end of that he would have just said he didn't want to fix things anyway.. I definetly thought I would feel atleast a little better by now. you did the right thing, as hard as it is/was. you deserve so much more. it takes time... ugh! i bet you hate to hear that, but it's true. little by little you will start to find slivers of happiness throughout your days-cherish them. when i got really down i would find what in my world is better now that he is no longer in it, the list kept growing! good luck, hang in there and do something nice for yourself today. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 do you know what i am beginning to believe? we all feel this way because they convinced us all that they would NEVER leave us. maybe its not like this for you guys. but for me....he never argued......was always sweet nice, romantic. omg he was perfect. in tears here. and he swore he would NEVER leave me . at the very least i thought he would discuss it. but i didn't get that. but naturally i was convinced . and my brainwashed brain and convinced emotions cant believe anything different. even after he's now already married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 do you know what i am beginning to believe? we all feel this way because they convinced us all that they would NEVER leave us. maybe its not like this for you guys. but for me....he never argued......was always sweet nice, romantic. omg he was perfect. in tears here. and he swore he would NEVER leave me . at the very least i thought he would discuss it. but i didn't get that. but naturally i was convinced . and my brainwashed brain and convinced emotions cant believe anything different. even after he's now already married. awww, dont cry. Yes my ex let me believe we was going to build a life together and I was excited and very happy about that. Yes and because i believed that it made it harder to stop loving and caring. I was devasted for a very long time. I have sinced learn that when a person doesnt want to be with you anymore...let them go. i do mean, let them go. What you have to realize now is that this experience has really made you a woman! You will never let anyone disappoint you in this manner. Once someone digs a hole that deep in your heart, it wont happen again. I can truly say that. I just cant let myself be that distract ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 thank you for your compassion 9lives i appreciate it. i have to deprogram myself. but he was sooooo good and so extraordinary when he was in my life for 10 years and my best friend...that i know that cant be replaced and its over for me..(seriously....long story) and i have to someone brainwash myself and emotions to not only accept things but to not love him anymore and hate myself. but the bottom line is they convince us all so much..that when its gone i think the brain thinks..it will be back. i hope for some of us..thats true. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 but the bottom line is they convince us all so much..that when its gone i think the brain thinks..it will be back. i hope for some of us..thats true. I'm optimistic for the ones who have the chance! Hope is a beautiful thing. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 0hpenelope Quote: I"m optimistic for the ones who have the chance! Hope is a beautiful thing. amen to that Link to post Share on other sites
bl22 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 do you know what i am beginning to believe? we all feel this way because they convinced us all that they would NEVER leave us. maybe its not like this for you guys. but for me....he never argued......was always sweet nice, romantic. omg he was perfect. in tears here. and he swore he would NEVER leave me . at the very least i thought he would discuss it. but i didn't get that. but naturally i was convinced . and my brainwashed brain and convinced emotions cant believe anything different. even after he's now already married. Youve hit the nail on the head here.... i dont think i will ever get the words 'I could never leave you, i'm yours forever ' out of my head. I heard that line so much. Link to post Share on other sites
ginastar Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 ok so at least we have established that were all normal for thinking this. but how many of you would take back your ex even if they kinda left you for someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 ok so at least we have established that were all normal for thinking this. but how many of you would take back your ex even if they kinda left you for someone else? I wouldn't, unlike majority of people on loveshack, I have had ex's come back asking for 2nd chances, and a few that (most likely) left me for someone else, I told them no. My last ex gf, I would have actually tooken her back, but I informed her that I wouldn't be that 'sweet caring guy' that she left. I would become just like all of her other no good jerk bf's. So she stopped attempting to come back. She had took me through so much to the point, that i could no longer be that faithfull guy, and caring guy. I would have most likely acted like the guy that she left me for (a jerk) Link to post Share on other sites
ginastar Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 youve had ex's come back that left you for someone else? after how long did they come back? Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 youve had ex's come back that left you for someone else? after how long did they come back? I dated a ex for 2 years once, and we were broken up for atlest 3 years, and she almost froze my cellphone she use to send me sooooo many messages on myspace, saying that I missed you. I was young and made a mistake, i haven't found a guy that has made me his number 1 priority since you. She asked atlest 3 times would i take her back by messages. Then some how she got my number, maybe from a mutual friend, and then I refused to act like I knew who she was. You have to understand, that her ego was once soooo big, that she would tell me that i needed a appointment to talk to her, bassically she had moved across city, got a bunch of new friends, new school, and felt like she was better than everyone she use to know. Me and the 2nd ex dated for 3 months and she broke up with me, and she tried to come back 3 weeks later. My last ex (i loved her so much I would have tooken her back regardless of what she did, me and her dated for 3 years, and it took her 1 year and 5 months to come back, I told her that you don't want the new me, u want the old sweet me that use to treat you like a princess. Bassically that I had changed and wouldn't be that same nice guy anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 do you know what i am beginning to believe? we all feel this way because they convinced us all that they would NEVER leave us. maybe its not like this for you guys. but for me....he never argued......was always sweet nice, romantic. omg he was perfect. in tears here. and he swore he would NEVER leave me . at the very least i thought he would discuss it. but i didn't get that. but naturally i was convinced . and my brainwashed brain and convinced emotions cant believe anything different. even after he's now already married. Mine was the same we never argued.. He seemed perfect in many ways and he told me so many times how he would never leave me.. Now its almost like he wasn't just trying to convince me, but perhaps himself aswell? I have had ppl come back to me.. If they do its either right away with in the first few weeks or months, or they don't come back until your over them. Then there is always the case of gone for good.. Link to post Share on other sites
ginastar Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I just dont understand why it would take months or years for someone to come back. for me its like ok i miss him, i cant move on or i can live without him .... Link to post Share on other sites
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