friend and his possessive girlfriend

[celeste]

Ok, this is about me, a friend and his girlfriend.

OK - it all started 3 years ago. My boyfriend of the time, introduced me to his friend, Sean, whom I became pretty good friends with. My best friend, Kara, started dating Sean. My boyfriend and I split up, Kara and Sean split up. Sean and me had a mutual attraction, and contemplated getting together, but didn't. Siding with Kara, me and sean kind of lost contact, he began going out with a new girl, let's call her Mary, and Kara and Mary knew each other, and promptly were reduced to email sparring, calling each other all kinds of names. Though I was on Kara's side, I never actively participated in this. A year goes by, and I meet my current fiancee. I move to America, and shortly after, contact sean again, who is more than happy to resume our friendship, by email if nothing else. He is still with Mary. Another year, and I visit home. I ask him if he wants to catch up, he says sure, but then tells me a couple of weeks later that Mary won't let him. So, back to America i go. We had reasonably frequent email contact during this period, and all was good. I asked him, about two months before I went home, if he'd be allowed to catch up this time. He says sure and is very enthusiastic. I called him, and he said he was busy, but would let me know. A few days later, in the midst of a few friendly SMS messages from him, I get this wierd "Shelley. We can't see each other. Things have changed". I say "OK, that's a shame but oh well. seems as though nothing has changed, you said the same thing a year ago. Nevermind, it doesn't really matter". He says "Shelley you are engaged, I am in a serious relationship, its not worth it." I replied, saying 'what are you talking about, I said we should catch up, not jump into bed, I think you're jumping to conclusions about my intentions ". So I get no reply to that. A few days ago, after being back in america for a few days, I email him this:

 

Hi, I am back in america but just wanted to clear up things, like where I was coming from. I thought you were being overly dramatic, in my opinion. Before I came back, you said you'd be able to catch up, and all I was doing was asking if you still wanted to, and you acted as though I was pushing you into bed. You answered my question of what you were doing in bundaberg with an overly dramatic insistence that we just couldn't see each other. It was all a bit strange. You were saying we couldn't see each other cause of our current's, which doesn't make much sense, because Jason wouldn't care, he knows I have male friends, and is ok with it. If yours would have objections, fine, you should have just said that, instead of trying to act as though we'd both be doing something dishonest and forbidden. It wasn't even a question of loyalty to me, because i didn't think we'd be doing anything wrong, but you clearly did. I guess I thought what would happen is we'd just get coffee or something, no big deal. It was a little confusing as to why that created so much drama. I don't know if you thought I was after something different, or what. I guess all this really doesn't matter now, but I wanted you to know where I was coming from and why I was kind of confused by the whole thing. I'd still like to stay in contact with you.

 

Then, today, I get this in reply.

"get over yourself sean was never going to meet u, sean has better things to do with his life then worring about you and your stupid letter grow up u $lut"

 

So, now what? I know she checks his account from time to time, so I don't know if this was done without his knowledge or not. Should I just forget about it, delete him from my address book, and move on? It makes me so mad that SHE told ME to grow up, when clearly she has some issues of her own.

[Sundaymorning]

wow I cant even read it cause its too confusing! You are from where and went where?

[jenny]

i know! this addled me too. i'll try to sort this out and distill the most important information.

 

characters:

 

shelley: our poster

sean: friend of shelley, boyfriend of kara

kara: best friend of shelley

mary: some chick

jason: some fiancee

 

1. sean breaks up with kara and dates mary. bitch fights ensue.

2. shelley has a new fiancee

3. sean is not allowed to see shelley because mary does not want him to.

4. sean may mistakenly believe shelley had intentions to hump him.

5. shelley sends sean a confusing letter which states: i do not want to pork you.

6. mary sends a letter in return, on sean's behalf, saying: go away.

7. shelley wonders what she should do now.

 

 

my advice? let it go. sean could stand up for himself. he chose not to; your friendship was not that important. mary is a psycho, but that is mary's problem.

 

this is something to walk away from. you have your own life, with a great new man. concentrate on that and refuse to get dragged into petty nonsense with this chick. even if he was a good friend, a long time ago, things have changed and there is no way his ambivalent friendship is worth this boring drama.

[celeste]

jenny, you pretty much hit the nail on the head, except from the time the email was sent, there is no way he was around. I think she sent it without his knowledge. You're right, he's a spineless wonder, and I've pretty much decided it's not worth my bother