Steps To Take When your Wife is Losing Interest

[tiger20]

This little guide is for married men out there. Are you in a situation where you suspect your wife is slowly losing interest level in you? You might feel something has changed. Maybe she has become a little distant with you. She doesn't touch you as much. She doesn't laugh as much at your jokes. She doesn't compliment you as much. She doesn't look you in the eye as much. She may not initiate sex as much as she used to.

 

 

 

Are you in that situation & you are wondering what you can do to fix it? If you are not in that predicament then save your time & stop reading this note. There are many marriages in this predicament. The man is obviously making mistakes to turn his wife off over time. Perhaps he took her for granted. He stopped taking her out or he got lazy about doing housework. He's become predictable & boring. Maybe he doesn't listen to her attentively when she talks about the details of her problems at work, etc. These are just some examples of what actions can lower your wife's interest level over time.

 

 

 

Interest level is degrees of romantic love. The scale goes from 0%-100%. 0%-49% means NO romantic interest. 51%-100% is romantic interest. If she has 51%-100% interest level in you then you are still in. If it's 0%-49% then you are out & it will never go above 50%.

 

 

 

Interest level does not rise or fall overnight. It rises & falls in small increments over time. Depending on the seriousness of the violation it can drop 50 points in a day like if there was cheating or abuse involved. Other than that interest level drops in small increments if a man does things repeatedly like the above examples over a long period of time.

 

 

 

When a woman's interest level drops from 95%-85% you might notice that she still initiates affection but not as much & not with the same intensity & she doesn't touch you for as long as she used to. When it drops to the 70s she doesn't laugh at your jokes as much. She may not initiate sex like she used to. Perhaps she used to initiate it 3-4 times a week & wanted to go for 2 hours but now she only initiates once a week & it's only 45 minutes. She doesn't compliment you as much.

 

 

 

When her interest level drops to the 60s then she starts to nag you or get bossy or criticize you or she is not willing to compromise with you. She may not want to watch any movies you suggest. She starts to put you down for the way you dress where it used to not be a big thing. When her interest level drops to the 50s then the two of you are arguing frequently. You are arguing more than once a month. Even when you try to avoid an argument she just looks for a reason to be argumentative with you.

 

 

 

Now this is very crucial because once her interest level drops below 50% then the marriage is over. It will never go back above 50% unless God does a miracle.

So

once that interest level drops to 49% it's over. She might stay with you anyway but she has emotionally checked out of the relationship at 49%.

 

 

 

The key is to recognize the warning signs of her falling interest level before it's too late (that is before it drops below 50%). Like a police detective if you can catch the warning signs early enough you have a shot at bringing her interest level back up into the 90s. But you have to play your cards right & you have to be patient. This will likely take time. Don't expect results overnight. It could take months or years to raise interest level back depending on how long the two of you have been married & how much damage you did over time.

 

 

 

If her interest level is in the 50s then there is still hope. Here's what you're going to do. The thing you have to realize is that the more you chase after your wife the more she's going to pull away & the more you will lower her interest level in you.

So

don't beg. Don't ask her to do anything for you. If she's distancing herself in any form don't ask her why she's

so

distant.

 

 

 

Instead what you need to do is slowly withdraw yourself. That is become somewhat distant. You know the

old

saying. Pursue a shadow and it will flee from you. If you distance yourself then the shadow will pursue you.

So

what I'

m

recommending you do is going to take patience & self control. You gotta be tough.

 

 

 

So

here's what you're going to do starting today if you sense your wife subtly distancing herself from you. You should stop having sex. Don't initiate sex. If she still initiates sex then you need to turn her down & tell her that lately you haven't been feeling up to it. (This is not a lie. If you are worried about her dropping interest level then the anxiety does take away your mood for sex anyway).

 

 

 

You should volunteer to sleep on the couch instead of sleeping in the master bedroom with her. Don't wait for her to kick you out of the bed. When her interest level drops below 50% she's going to kick you out of that bed & tell you to sleep on the couch. You want to avoid that.

So

take the initiative to sleep on the couch.

 

 

 

You also want to increase your share of the housework. Many women appreciate that because one of their biggest complaints about men is that he doesn't do enough housework.

So

clean the toilets, paint the fence, take out the trash, clean the cars, clean out the garage, cook dinner more often, wash dishes, etc. Take the initiative to increase your share of housework. Don't wait for her anymore to ask you.

 

 

 

Plan out one night a week that you take her out. Make sure it's someplace new each time & try to pick different nights each week at different hours if you can. If you plan to take her out Friday night at 6pm this week to dinner then you'll want to plan to take her out on a Thursday night the week after at 8pm to a movie. Plan ahead. Make reservations. Buy tickets early. Of course don't tell her about this. Surprise her at the last minute. When she comes home from work Friday afternoon tell her "honey get yourself ready because we're going out tonight". If she asks where tell her "That's classified" or "I'

m

not at liberty to say at this time".

 

 

 

Make sure you ask her how her day was at work. If she wants to talk out her problems let her vent. Don't offer her any solutions. Just listen attentively & then ask her questions about what she's talking about. Unsolicited advice is not a good idea 95% of the time. Women also appreciate it when men listen attentively & patiently. Another big complaint women have is that men don't listen. They just want to talk about themselves all the time & not give her his undivided attention 100% with 2 ears. Men talk too much.

 

 

 

Also give her a hug when she comes home from work. Give her a hug goodnight. Throughout the rest of the week try to make yourself scarce. After cooking dinner & getting all the chores done & after she finishes venting about her problems during the day go lock yourself up in the guest room & take up a new hobby or something. The idea is to create some distance yourself when she's being distant. You're going to let her do at least 80% of the talking.

 

 

 

So

remember these key tips. Cut out the sex. Volunteer to sleep on the couch. Take her out someplace new once a week. Increase your share of housework. Buy her a funny card. When she says I love you, don't blindly reciprocate with an I love you. Instead say with a smile, "You are crazy if you can love someone like me" or "what do you think of that documentary on the learning channel about the melting glaciers up at the Arctic Circle?" Change the subject. Use your thinking cap & come up with an unpredictable response.

 

 

 

So

if you do all these things consistently over time then her interest level should come back up to the 90s. If it's 51% or higher we can bring it back. Be patient. Keep it cool. Give it time. It could take months or years. If you have been married for 20 years & your wife's interest level is dropping then it didn't drop from 95%-55% overnight. It may have started dropping after 10 or 12 years of marriage. It may have dropped 1 point every 3 months. That's 4 points per year. 40 points in 10 years.

So

it could have been dropping in small increments over the course of the last 10 years. My point is that it took time for her interest to drop

so

it's probably going to take a long time to raise it back up.

 

 

 

The most important factor in the relationship is the woman's interest level. The higher her interest level the more fun & fulfilling your relationship will be for both of you. You will have more fun if her interest level is in the 90s than you will if it's in the 80s or 70s. Take the steps now & hope for the best. Good luck.

[JaneyAmazed]

Is this for real? Too many percentages to keep up with! I'd say find out what your wife needs and give it to her...that would about sum it up.

[Lucky_One]

Is this Steven20 back again? I just read about him on another thread, and this sounds just like what they described!

 

Too funny - what a bunch of crap this is, btw.

[Windsurf66]

Crap tiger giving out crap advice.

 

People who do not understand the marriage vows, or do not intend to keep it, should never get married. Period. Whats with the bull**** manipulative mind games here. If wife is losing interest and looking to be a whore to ride and suck other dicks out there, thats fine, just divorce and kick her out