Milla11 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I recently met a guy at a bar who I had instant sexual attraction to. We flirted a bit there and connected later through FB with me telling him I "want him" and him replying the same. I just got out of a LT relationship so Im just looking to have some fun, but never been in a FWB situation, so I need some advice on how to proceed, or if anyone can share their experiences.. I guess its just different as we dont really know eachother at all, which I think is better than starting up with an actual friend, and I dont really want nothing more from him than casual sex but don't really have an idea how to establish that. SO those of you more experienced do enlighten me Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Those relationships are tricky. I had one of those when I was young, this guy and I hooked up kind of randomly. Basically all you have to do to establish that is talk about it - ask what he wants from the relationship and tell him what you want from it. Tell him you like him and you want him, but that you're not really ready for a relationship, so let's just have fun and keep it casual. If he gets a girlfriend tell you and you won't call, but call you when he breaks up, and tell him you will do the same. Also - make an agreement that if either of you becomes emotionally involved you should be able to tell one another and talk about that freely as well - you don't want a bunch of heartache on your hands. I was lucky...my guy and I got together on a fluke, he got a g/f and I didn't hear from him for four months, they broke up, suddenly he calls me and we got together like three or four more times before I found a b/f and thanked him for the fun. Saw him a couple years later and he had a baby girl and was in a ltr himself. I honestly think if I ran into him today (12 yrs later) we could be friends and not have anything awkward....but I recognize this as rare...if it weren't I would have had more experiences like it!! I had no emotional attachment to him beyond thinking of him as a pretty cool guy and a friend...otherwise that was it. If you are capable of doing that then go for it, if not then you may want to be careful b/c you are probably sensitive right now and could wind up getting hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Maybe you should connect with Leigh! You could put your heads together, as you have the identical situations! It's uncanny! You could ... even be the same person! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Milla11 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 ShatteredReality, thanks so much for the answer. Im actually pretty stable about the break up so that doesn't worry me, and am pretty sure I can handle myself and be in control of the situation, and if that should change smart enough to get out. Truly I think it will be a great way to move on and have some fun doing it. And, although this is a bit out of character for me, I also consider it a very lucky fluke. Mme. We're definitely not the same person, I glanced through some of that post and saw all this stuff about Christianity and some eating disorder so I think my situation is quite different lol.. But your quote about an unexamined life really put things even more into perspective Thank you both for the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Maybe you should connect with Leigh!...You could ... even be the same person! Ding ding ding!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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