why do i put myself through this? ! aahh!

[tiny]

help, i love my b'f dearly, but he always wants to be doing something. something like going to the lake, he's crazy its 97 degrees! ! ! is he nuts? he says the hotter the better, yeah right. let him pay the a/c bill then. or he wants to go out every sat. night, yuk, i'd rather stay home and watch t.v. go to bed at my usual time 11:00 get up refreshed, not tired from staying out until 1:00. baseball games, football games, family get togethers, friends birthday's, restaurants. oh boy, it never ends. i have done more in the two years we have been together then i have done my whole life. at times i think i'd be happier without him around, then i can sit at home all i want, but, unfortunately i know if he was not around i'd never do anything but sit at home. o.k. so i go with him cause he says he wants me to and cause he loves me and blah, blah, blah. but yesterday we went to a dumb baseball game, (we won) and it was almost 100 degrees, i complained the whole time, we found some shade but i know he wanted to "soak up some rays" he's italian, i'm irish, maybe he can handle it better that's why, i don't know. i think my life would be boring without him, as he has pulled me out of my shell and my hole as much as i will let him. but i feel like, why is he with me when i complain so much? why don't he find someone he has these things in commmon with? he says, cause he loves me, he has hope for me. well that is all fine but not when i really don't want to and i already told him i would so i feel obligated to. i don't know how to handle this. i don't want to leave him, he don't want to go alone,so i go cause he makes me feel good about going, saying he has a good time with me, yeah right again, how? that he enjoys my company,hah! he don't notice i'm there at the game, hardly, except that constant whisper he hears,"i'm hot" what can i do? he wont go alone, he ends up sitting at home with me more then anything, then i feel like i'm robbing him of his whole LIFE. we are in our 40"s. any suggestions?????????????///

[billy the kid]

yes, I have some suggestions.... do you like the opera how about plays, any thing in a/c.... so tell him for every one you go to he has to go to one of yurs too..and the next time he wants to go to the lake, once you get out on the boat.... strip or at least go topless, if you can ,theneither he will want to leave early, because of harmons, or understand the heat....

help, i love my b'f dearly, but he always wants to be doing something. something like going to the lake, he's crazy its 97 degrees! ! ! is he nuts? he says the hotter the better, yeah right. let him pay the a/c bill then. or he wants to go out every sat. night, yuk, i'd rather stay home and watch t.v. go to bed at my usual time 11:00 get up refreshed, not tired from staying out until 1:00. baseball games, football games, family get togethers, friends birthday's, restaurants. oh boy, it never ends. i have done more in the two years we have been together then i have done my whole life. at times i think i'd be happier without him around, then i can sit at home all i want, but, unfortunately i know if he was not around i'd never do anything but sit at home. o.k. so i go with him cause he says he wants me to and cause he loves me and blah, blah, blah. but yesterday we went to a dumb baseball game, (we won) and it was almost 100 degrees, i complained the whole time, we found some shade but i know he wanted to "soak up some rays" he's italian, i'm irish, maybe he can handle it better that's why, i don't know. i think my life would be boring without him, as he has pulled me out of my shell and my hole as much as i will let him. but i feel like, why is he with me when i complain so much? why don't he find someone he has these things in commmon with? he says, cause he loves me, he has hope for me. well that is all fine but not when i really don't want to and i already told him i would so i feel obligated to. i don't know how to handle this. i don't want to leave him, he don't want to go alone,so i go cause he makes me feel good about going, saying he has a good time with me, yeah right again, how? that he enjoys my company,hah! he don't notice i'm there at the game, hardly, except that constant whisper he hears,"i'm hot" what can i do? he wont go alone, he ends up sitting at home with me more then anything, then i feel like i'm robbing him of his whole LIFE. we are in our 40"s. any suggestions?????????????///

[michele]

Well, it sounds like something I went through a couple of years ago, however, I finally made up my mind, I wasn't a maid for him or his family. In your case I think you enjoy staying home, while he enjoys going out, must reach some happy medium, if not both of you will end up miserable.

help, i love my b'f dearly, but he always wants to be doing something. something like going to the lake, he's crazy its 97 degrees! ! ! is he nuts? he says the hotter the better, yeah right. let him pay the a/c bill then. or he wants to go out every sat. night, yuk, i'd rather stay home and watch t.v. go to bed at my usual time 11:00 get up refreshed, not tired from staying out until 1:00. baseball games, football games, family get togethers, friends birthday's, restaurants. oh boy, it never ends. i have done more in the two years we have been together then i have done my whole life. at times i think i'd be happier without him around, then i can sit at home all i want, but, unfortunately i know if he was not around i'd never do anything but sit at home. o.k. so i go with him cause he says he wants me to and cause he loves me and blah, blah, blah. but yesterday we went to a dumb baseball game, (we won) and it was almost 100 degrees, i complained the whole time, we found some shade but i know he wanted to "soak up some rays" he's italian, i'm irish, maybe he can handle it better that's why, i don't know. i think my life would be boring without him, as he has pulled me out of my shell and my hole as much as i will let him. but i feel like, why is he with me when i complain so much? why don't he find someone he has these things in commmon with? he says, cause he loves me, he has hope for me. well that is all fine but not when i really don't want to and i already told him i would so i feel obligated to. i don't know how to handle this. i don't want to leave him, he don't want to go alone,so i go cause he makes me feel good about going, saying he has a good time with me, yeah right again, how? that he enjoys my company,hah! he don't notice i'm there at the game, hardly, except that constant whisper he hears,"i'm hot" what can i do? he wont go alone, he ends up sitting at home with me more then anything, then i feel like i'm robbing him of his whole LIFE. we are in our 40"s. any suggestions?????????????///

[Tony T]

You write in your post: "but i feel like, why is he with me when i complain so much?" My question to you is WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM IF YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO COMPLAIN ABOUT???

 

You also ask: "why don't he find someone he has these things in commmon with?" My question to you is WHY DON'T YOU FIND SOMEONE YOU HAVE THINGS IN COMMON WITH???

 

The two of you are not only thermally incompatible but you simply don't like doing ANY of the same things. I mean there is NO reason for you to be together. Love simply isn't enough to keep two people together for a long time.

 

So either start liking hot weather and all the stuff he drags you to or get out of the picture. Those are your options, plain and simple. I think you are going to grow more and more unhappy with this. Even a counsellor cannot get to you love baseball...I know I hate it and not even divine intervention could get me to like it, much less in hot weather.

[allan]

yes, I have some suggestions.... do you like the opera how about plays, any thing in a/c.... so tell him for every one you go to he has to go to one of yurs too..and the next time he wants to go to the lake, once you get out on the boat.... strip or at least go topless, if you can ,theneither he will want to leave early, because of harmons, or understand the heat.... go to party and enjoy life