avababe Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 I miss my husband I never thought I would ever say that. we have been married 5yrs. last year in July he left me, 3 days later I find out I'm pregnant (he was fixed the previous year). 2 days after that I lost my job due to down size, and 20 days later my dad dies. tell me my life can't get worse? I had the baby on feb 11th when my due date was for today march 22 I had perturnity test done and it came back as his. it's been a week now and I still have not heard from him. he moved on and I can't, we are seperated but married, I'm going crazy and getting really depressed I want him back what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 What caused him to leave? What are his feelings about his child? Regardless, he's got a legal obligation to pay child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avababe Posted April 3, 2004 Author Share Posted April 3, 2004 we already were on rocky grounds, and when he left 3 days later I found out I was pregnant he thought I cheated on him while I knew I didn't, so I knew it was his, he got fixed the previous year. we got the test back and he still wants nothing to do with me, he moved on that month that we split with another girl and I think he doesn't want to hurt her or something but why I'm still married to him and he's hurting me. he has only seen the baby once, he told my mom he is to small yet and maybe when the baby gets bigger he'll take more time with him, what ever Sincerely, Ava Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 avababe, I would be a complete mess in your shoes. you havent had time to move on. you have a series of problems which have compounded upon themselves. Im impressed your able to function at all. I think you need to talk to a professional to help sort out your feelings. my picks are abandonment: dad & husband at the same time, thats a huge loss. loss of trust & security: husband blames you for an affair, & you lost your job. not to mention the scarey "H" word........................... hormones ..new baby. AAARRRRHHHHH you probably haven't had time to greive for all you have lost. lets start there, you have to go though the greiving process before you can start to heal and move forward. ask yourself do you really think what you husband did by leaving was fair to you? and so quickly he decided you were unfaithful rather than medically checking it out. do you miss your husband or do you think your really missing your dad? life is certainly not fair regarding everyday stuff, and then you get blindsided. I have found that my strenghts, and my compassion, have developed because of the experiences i have had to deal with in my life. when i have regular conversations with people and reveal a small part of my past(im a very quiet/private person), most people I know can't believe the things I have lived through. just the other day at work a woman ive known for two years, said something about being pregnant and not being allowed to go into a hottub. I said"yeah my sister was told that too. her and the other girl, who lives next door to my dad, says"i didn't know you have a sister, "I replied uncomfortably, oh yeah, 3 sisters and another brother, + the two brothers you know. and I added, cause i felt I needed to, "we don't talk anymore since my dad died. they looked at me like I was from another planet, (since they know my biological dad). and I quickly corrected my statement by adding "my other dad", oops, I try not to refer to my step-dad as "dad" around my dad's friends. well it was awkward as usual. and I shut up then. we're here for you, you too will find the strenght and get through this. you have already begun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avababe Posted June 29, 2004 Author Share Posted June 29, 2004 well I found this site again and thought I would post. I still miss my husband but I've learned to live without him, not a day goes by that I don't think of him. I wonder where did we go wrong? why is my pain still here? I know it's his loss, not mine. I think I could handle it better if he would stop bringing his girfriend around,when he drops off our children. I get so mad and then it looks like I'm the one who gets out of controll but he is messing with my emotions. can anyone tell me why he thinks he has to rub her in my face? I love this guy I've been through to much I wish he would just stop it with the hurtful games he plays I've done nothing to him except prove to him that I'm a strong women and no man can take my idenity from me, I'm strong willed, but very weak when it comes to my heart. I can't move on I think I'm scared from this. Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 When my ex and I broke up I wanted him back so bad. I felt like a failure because the marrige was broken and could not be fixed. Now that I can look back on the situation I was upset because I felt like he rejected me. I could not believe that this man who said he would love me forever rejected me! It was so heartbreaking, I tried to hurt myself, ended up in the hopsital. (thinking this would win him over...dumb move on my part) I finally ended up making major changes in my life, I moved out of the house we shared and ended up buying a home 1 hour away (baby steps) got a job at bar (ended up a manager 8 months later) met and fell in love with my future hubby Do not get me wrong I still have my ups and downs but I try to take it one day at a time... Life will go on, you just have to let go of the life you once had..... It will get better...... Best of luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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