How do you casually date an ex-boyfriend who is one of your best friends?

[Mollyanna]

We broke up right after Valentine's Day. We had been inseparable for 2 1/2 months. We became an insta-couple overnight and suddenly had no lives of our own. It fizzled out quickly when he realized - Whoa! I am not over the pain inflicted from my divorce and suddenly I am in a serious relationship again.

 

Ever since we broke up, we have been in constant contact though and have seen each other once a week. Tonight we agreed that we skipped over the actual dating part and maybe we could do that instead.

 

My dilemna is - I love this man. How do I casually date him now? I went on a date this weekend with someone else and it was nice - but just not the same as being with him. But should I still continue to date? Because we did leave that door open? Would it be better for me to try and get over him a little by dating other people - so maybe we are on the same playing field? He doesn't love me - he is too hurt to love anyone yet. Maybe I should try not to love him? How do I do that?

 

Any tips on how to make this work? We have our first official date next week when I am back in town.

Oh yeah, i forgot to mention that we hang out in the same circle of friends. (That is how we met. We were friends first.)

[clia]

I personally think it is impossible to casually date someone if you are in love with them. Because your feelings are so much stronger than his, I think you need a little break away from him to try to get things in perspective. (If you keep seeing him, your feelings will not change.) I wouldn't date him just yet if I were you--and although you run in the same circles, if at all possible, try not to see him as much, or talk to others when you are out instead of him. (I'm not saying to ignore him, but don't be too buddy-buddy--you likely need some space right now.)

[overseas2004]

I am sorry I can't offer any advice. I don't know how to be intimate without being intimate....