Metzgerfan Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Ok here is a brief story of what has happened. My girl and i were together for almost 2 years. We had future plans of getting married and spending the rest of our lifes together. All of that came to a hault 2 months ago when we both decided it would be good to end it. After we ended it we both started our stupid immature games and looking back at it, they were stupid. But I am over it now and i am done asking for her back. I am about to start my career and starting my life and i think she would just bring me down. She droped out of school and does drugs. And i am the opposite. i graduated and am in community college. Well lets get to my question.....this is for you ladies. OK since i stoped calling her she started calling me. Now in our convos she tells me that she doesnt think the relationship with her new bf will last and she keeps compairing him to me. She said all she wanted was me and that i am better than him......but she doesnt get to the point whereas she asks for me back. Here is another thing she lies about going over to his house everynight when i know for a fact she does. She also lies about other stupid things just so i dont get upset. WHy is she doing this to me? WHat should i do ? Also this questino is for everyone.....How do you let a girl know that you are not hooked up to a string on their finger anymore? I know she thinks i am but i am not. i am done with her. Please help me understand thanks chris Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 You will let her know you aren't a string on her finger, or doormat, by refusing to speak with her. Tell her to decide what the hell she wants to do....and give you a call only if she is free and clear after the dust settles. Till then, get on with your own life and surprise her that SHE can be replaced as easily as YOU were replaced. That'll give her the message. I bet she will break up with him and be back with you in a month. I don't know if you will have gained much....falling in love with a game player isn't much of a prize......but you'll at least have a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
dolphinsunshyn Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 She is obviously not over you yet. She is fishing for you to say that you want her back so it can seem like she has the upper hand. If you are no longer interested anymore, you need to let her know that for good. Write her a letter and send it by certified mail. Tell her that you have moved on and there is absolutly no chance of reconcillation. Whatever you do, don't lead her on or just ignore the situation completely. Guys have a tendancy to do that hoping the situation will naturally disappear. You need to be blunt and honest. It is the only way for you both to be able to move on completely. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 You've got to tell her you don't want her to call you or contact you in any way anymore. What is this contact doing to you? All it does is makes you unhappy. What good is it doing her? Do you think she's really getting anything out of calling you and hinting around about how her life sucks without you? Neither of you will be happy until you cease all contact and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ImUsingLipstick Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 You sound like a real fine young man, and I know what it's like to be stuck in a bad relationship. But, you really need to look for someone new. It sounds to me like she loves you, but not in a healthy way. I think that it is normal to have rather dysfunctional relationships when we are very young. But, I hope that you leave the dynamics of that relationship and find one that is more healthy. You guys are so young, and you don't want to be wrapped up with someone with a chemical dependancy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Metzgerfan Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Ok today i delt with her again...... She called me around 7:00 p.m crying. i asked her why she was crying and she said her friend just died so naturally i said i feel sorry for you and i hope you are doing ok. Then i mentioned well sholdnt you be talking to your new bf and have him help you out? then she said all he said was he was sorry and he wouldnt do anything else. I have no clue why she keeps calling me and not her bf. Why does she keep telling me that her new bf isnt as good as i was? but yet she spends the night at his house every night so i am told. i took her virginity does that mean anything? HOw do girls feel about the guy that they lose their virginity to? please help me understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Metzgerfan Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 If your ex girlfriend that you were engaged to finds out that you have a new gf would that make her jealous? what do you think she would do next? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 She's using the "New Boyfriend" to bait you with. She's USING him to try to get you back. You are playing into this equation just as much as she is. You need to tell her that she can't play both sides of the fence. That's what she's doing, and since you insist you are finished with her, show her (and yourself) that by your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Dear all. The thing is ... is that he is not finished with her otherwise he would not be asking all these questions on the board. He just wants her to be the one to say it. Too bad he can't admit that to himself. In real love there is no place for pride dear. But I will tell you this. If she has a drug problem then you are going to have real big problems in this little cozy nest you have built in your head about the future and marrying this girl. Just one gals opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 It seems to me that you are her back up, she isn't going to let go of mr. boyfriend til you come out and say hey I want you back... She is expecting you to stand up and say, "Yooo Hooo, over here, I am better than him and will conquer all that makes you unhappy! Come to me!" If you do not want her back, break off all communication. Much easier than listening to rants and raves about how horrible mr.boyfriend is and how much better you are... but yet you two aren't together. I only wonder, if she is treating her current boyfriend like he doesn't matter, how is she treating you whom she is running to over every little detail? And what happens if you do get back together ... does she run to him and tell him how much better he was than you are? I do wish you luck~ Link to post Share on other sites
cam16 Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Honestly, I think that you have a lot going for you!! Move on! she is not worth it! If she really wanted you back bad enough she would be done with that other guy and would set goals for her life. I think that you should cut her off completly! It will be hard but you can do better! Get out there and have a good time meet someone who has there life on track just like you!! Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 it sounds to me like she's not ready for commitment. to her commitment means losing her freedom. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts