mazda Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Hi folks....im after some advice off of people who dont know me....to cut a ling story short, In Oct 2009 my gf dumped me. it was out of the blue. I made the usual mistakes of trying to contact her and win her back etc etc for a few months but ended up going NC for a month. She turned up at my house one day out of the blue and we sort of went out for a week before she said she didnt know what she wanted anymore...that was April 2010. Ive been NC since....even though we work together. A few weeks back she texted me asking if we could start speaking to each other again as she hated us not talking. She emailed me too but i didnt reply for about a week. When i did i asked why she contacted me. She said she hated us not talking and wanted us to at least be able to say hello to each other. I told her that i dont think we could ever be friends again so there was no point in trying. Thats where the texting ended Im just after some thoughts from you as im now thinking maybe ive missed a chance to see if she wanted to try again. Did i do the right thing? Should i say hi to her every now and then? I could do that.....its just after months of heartache i decided i dodnt want to give her the pleasure of my friendship which is why i manage NC for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Well you need to ask yourself a few questions first : Do you want her back?Could you handle just being friends with her again without going back to square one all over again?Answer those questions first and then I might be able to give you a bit more advice.....If you are doing well without her, then stick with NC and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Hey, thanks for the reply 1) Right...do i want her back......I still think of "us" so im gonna say yes..or at least try. 2) I cant/dont want her as a friend. Ive managed to drag myself back to normality by going NC. Its all or nothing. I guess its the curiosity coming out as to why she made contact? Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Do you know if she left you for anyone else or saw anyone else in the time you've been apart? If thats the case, maybe things have gone sour with the new BF and she is now falling back to you - i.e dangling the carrot to see if you're still there... dont fall for it. Keep NC until you hear something more substantial from her....ie Im sorry, I messed up, I cant live without you, I want another chance.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 A week after se dumped me she got caught seeing a married bloke. I know that over the last few months she was going out with someone so like you say, maybe shes going through a bad patch and wants to see if im still a door mat! Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Mazda, if you are positive that she is the only one for you then pursue her and make it very clear to her that you want her for the rest of your life. Otherwise, I'd say you should try and date other people first. You may find someone who can make you a lot happier then she ever did. I personally don't believe in remaining friends after a break up simply because there are too many biased emotional feelings involved, plus it's not fair to your future relationships. If you have doubts about her then I say be strong and stay NC! Shatter3d also akes a legitimate point - how do you know that she'd not using you as a fall-back option? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Heres a link to my original post when we first broke up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t221050/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Lil1, Ive dated other people but they never worked out. I know most blokes say this, but im really really picky. Maybe im comparing other women to my ex....but in my opinion she was perfect. If she wasnt, i could have easliy got over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I think many of us "rejected" would want a comeback... that doesn't mean we are going to pursue it... after more than a year, I'd let it go... most girls are like your ex, they just want to chat about insustantial matters and say hi when bumping into you in the hallway... receiving the cold shoulder grates on them... you are doing fine, why throw all away now? Link to post Share on other sites
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