ambernickey Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 I NEVER KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO FALL IN LOVE. ALL MY FRIENDS WERE ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND I REALLY WANTED TO BE. FINIALLY,IT HAPPENED, BUT I WISH I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO. I THOUGHT THIS PERSON LOVED ME. I MEAN, WE WERE SO PERFECT IN THE BEG. AND THEN IT ALL WENT DOWN. HE STARTED CHEATING, LYING, CONTROLLING ME BY TELLING ME WHO I COULD HANG OUT WITH AND WHO I COULD TALK TO. I COULDNT HAVE ANY GUY FRIENDS AT ALL!!!! BUT I DIDNT REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS WITH HIM ANYWAYS. I DIDNT FIND OUT THAT HE CHEATED ON ME UNTIL 1 WEEK BEFORE OUR YEAR,LETS JUST SAY OUR YEAR ANIVERSARY SUCKED !!! YEAH, WE BROKE UP BUT I FELL INTO THAT TRAP THAT JUST ABOUT EVERY GUY HAS, AND TOOK HIM BACK. I JUST FELT LIKE HE DESERVED ANOTHER CHANCE. BUT EVER SINCE THAT HE THOUGHT HE HAD ME WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGERS, WELL HE DID. WE ARGUED ALL THE TIME. I NEVER TRUSTED HIM, HE NEVER TRUSTED ME. BUT FOR TWO YEARS I NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON HIM. UP UNTIL WE BROKE UP AND I JUST DECIDED TO BE A BITCH, AND THAT I JUST HAD ENOUGH OF IT, SO I MESSED AROUND WITH SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO HIM, WE GOT BACK TOGETHER AND HE STARTED FINDING OUT STUFF AND I JUST DENIED IT FOR ABOUT A MONTH. IT WAS SO HARD TO LIE, BUT I DIDNT WANT TO LOSE HIM. WELL, HE FOUND OUT AND I DID LOSE HIM AND NOW ITS REALLY OVER FOR GOOD. IT SUCKS BECUASE I MISS HIM DEARLY AND I MISS HIS FAMILY, BUT I HAVE BEEN WONDERING IF MAYBE I WAS MEANT TO DO THAT SO THAT IT WOULD BE OVER FOR GOOD? MAYBE FOR SOME ODD REASON IT WAS JUST TIME TO MOVE ON, BUT JUST DOING THAT TO HIM HURTS BECAUSE IM NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON. I MEAN I DIDNT CHEAT ON HIM FOR 2 YEARS AND THEN WHEN WE BROKE UP I DID THAT,IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE, AND WITH WHO I DID IT WITH MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE. SOMETIMES I THINK MAYBE IT TAUGHT ME A LESSON, OR MAYBE GOD WAS SHOWING ME THAT IF I WAS DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THEN WE DIDNT NEED TO BE TOGETHER. IT GETS EASIER EVERY DAY, BUT ITS HARD SOMETIMES THINK ABOUT IT. BUT IM A STRONGER PERSON NOW, BECAUSE OF THIS. BUT MY QUESTION IS WILL WE EVER BE TOGETHER IN THE END, I WONDER SOMETIMES BECUASE I JUST CANT SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE, BUT YET WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE THAT CHEATS AND LIES AND WHY AM I MISSING HIM AND STILL LOVING HIM? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 I would guess you miss the 'relationship' you had.....but not him as a person. Some people like having someone in their life and feel quite empty if they find themselves alone. Considering what you posted about him though....I think you should give it some time and replace him with someone who really does treat you with love and respect. It's not worth settling for a jerk just to be with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
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