!hardest decision to ever make :(

[beauty0815]

So If Youve Read My Recent Threads Youve Known That Ive Been Dealing With A Bf That left me for another girl without telling me so i guess that makes him an ex now. i also left off about how he has been ignoring my texts and calls and i finally let it go. but then when i saw him in person he has tried to talk to me ..talk about confusing ! well i still have had no contact with him until last week my cousin has been telling me that he has been asking about me, inside i got very happy but to know he still is with the girl he left me for still hurts me. Ive been telling her to tell him to leave me alone but i guess this made him want me even more.As of last week out of nowhere i get a text with him just making small talk. I really thought i was over him i told myself i would NEVER respond to him and treat him like he did me and ignore me. I really hate that i love him ! So after that conversation two days go by and he calls me aand i missed the call because my phone was on silent . well i called right back and he was just so mad on the other end saying like "why didnt you answer on the first ring and how i shouldnt ignore his phonecalls" the whole time im thinking why do you even care ? dont you have a girl ? dont you remember when you ignored me? how do you think i felt ? but as you can guess stupidly i never expressed any of this on the phone he got to asking me did i miss him and i said yes...because i really do . everyone said i should play hard to get and i should have said no . to make a long story short we ended the phone convo by taking it to a text . Now if you can remember from my last threads i deleted him from my facebook like in the begining of dec. when he officially left me for that girl. well in the text he asked me who my status was for , i guess he forgot that hes the one that changed it when we was going out and i never had enough strength to change it . after i told him that i never changed it he told me "i better not change it!" why does he still want to control my life if he still has a girl? well twodays ago he wrote me and just told me to come see him real quick because he was comming out of town. mind you we both live in the same town he lives right around the corner. i didnt know what he wanted he never said he just said come see me real quick. so i went i would literally do anything for him . well when i get over there he's with his friends and we go in the house and he starts calling me BABE and holding my hand and stuff. This man is soo confusing i swear! We eventually go to another room to be alone and he tells me that hes gonna be out of town for a few weeks and asks me will i miss him , and he hopes i didnt give any of myself away to any other man while he was gone. all the while he keeps kissing me and holding my hand and everything . so finally his rides here so he can leave and as he leaves he tells me to call him tonight. well i walked back home so much on my mind ! i get back in the house and text him i miss him already he texts back he misses me too already. a few hours later i text him its not quite night yet and i text him and say call me to where you get where youre going so i know you got there okay . i get no text back so i text him this long messaging telling him to tell me the truth no more beating around the bush what really does he want with me i also told him i loved him...still noresponse. so today i texted him this long message and told him that i cant do this anymore im going to officially let what we have be in the past and move on with my life and find love . i also tell him how it still hurts that he left me for another girl and how i have to respect his decision to not be with me eventhough it hurts . i even reminded him of how we planned to marry when we got older i let him know that i ilove him deeply and that we have to go our seperate ways . he TEXTED BACK saying he doesnt know what to say but he love me too . and that was it . I cant believe i really did this i cant believe we may never speak again. now im here in tears it hurts how does he have no words? why do men string you along he could have broke it off with me why did i have to do it? why didnt he even beg me to stay ? i know i come off a little naieve but i love him soo much im 19 hes the same age but i still know what love is .

PLEASE if you think you know any answers to any of the questions in this post please dont hesitate to respond back . i need some serious advice ! ASAP