IfiKnewThen Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 hi is2008 how are you? hoping all is well, my friend. hey IfIKnewThen, so good to hear from you! you're so complimentary... strange as it sounds my ex rarely complimented me so it's nice to get a compliment... thank you. youre welcome. i say these things because they are true about you. you are a very good writer and express yourself well. and i am afraid i am had been guilty of not complimenting in the past. it was a real downfall with me and i hope i learned a lesson from it, in that not to take what you appreciate about another for granted again. i have a bad habit of doing that. sighs have you got any plans for the weekend? i'm car shopping so pretty excited!! wow thats exciting getting a new car. how is that going? i am going to see a beloved friend who is in the hospital. gee a lot of people i love are so much older now and all getting on and getting sick from old age. this lady took care of me when i was first struck down with my disability...she was a RN who took care of me. she is so precious to me and has called me up thru the years to ask how i am doing. how wonderful is that? most people forget about you. i am blessed to know her. quote: my mum doesn't like to see me upset! she just knows when i'm upset, and gives me my space... and lets me approach her to talk. your mom/mum sounds awesome!!! God bless her! yes, its true my mom wouldnt want to see me unhappy so i try to be happy where i am at right now and look at the good. quote: as for moving on.. well the past week i've had the most disruptive sleeps since the breakup. they're not full of anxiety like they used to be, they're just very broken. i keep waking up, i'm shattered all the time. i don't know whether i'm excited about my car or missing my ex. i'm confused! i think so many things going on and once and mind and heart and soul trying to balnace it all and put things back in check makes disruptive sleep. but after awhile the same thing puts you asleep lol, because its so darn exhausting. its always good to have a good physical day to knock us out. but yeah i would be day dreaming or night dreaming about that new car quote: till reconnecting with old friends, my circle is definitely expanding, therefore my chances of finding someone new expanding too. how true that is. time. everything in time. quote: SUMMARY/OUTLOOK: absolutely shattered... but taking positive but slow steps towards moving on. another great description of this process. i sometimes feel i take "slow" steps too. but i can take a lot in at this pace and put in some place logically in my head and heart where its more manageable. slow and steady they always said wins the race. i'm still counting on that being true : ) Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 omg so many typos in my posts. hehe thats what i get when i write when i am sleepy. oh... who am i kidding? i write like that fully awake too anyway hope all is well with you ...well as can be Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Thinking of buying myself a very nice sporty car... but it's whether I want to splash that sort of cash on a car! Do it. Strange as it sounds it will make you feel LOADS better. Or at least go to a luxury dealer and convince them to let you take one of the convertibles or whatever pushes your buttons out for a test drive. New life, new you, new car Hot car will also attract all the wimmens whenever you are ready to date again Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 DAY 25 NC: Wow oh wow. Whilst not a milestone in itself (like one month) it's pretty damn special to me. Never thought I'd manage to cope but I really am coping. She has tried to reach out now... 2 days ago she spoke to my mum. Whilst it saddens me that someone so close to me is on the phone, I didn't have the urge to grab the phone off my mum. I think reality is finally sinking in with her. I don't feel sorry for her, it was her decision. I think she's trying to re-establish the lines of communication for a possible reconciliation... maybe. One things for sure, I'm not running back, she has to either come to the UK, or pay for me to visit her for any reconciliation. If that doesn't materialise, I'm not pushing for it anymore. I'm definitely in the what I don't know can't hurt me camp right now and that makes me feel very content. As for the new car situation... it's kept me preoccupied for a good week and a half. I finally bought it on Monday, it is the definition of beauty! It's white, got sexy curves and just...!! Who needs a girlfriend when you've got curves like this car ha. So extremely happy with the new car, what a treat! I feel happier with life, content with being single, my confidence and self respect is back, and I see opportunities to improve this further. The first two weeks were definitely the hardest, now I just maintain NC as a matter of course. I'm not looking at her FB, going on MSN or skype, not checking emails. It's almost become natural. I've come to the conclusion that you never fall out of love with your first love, rather you learn to live without them. Mine treated me particularly badly during the final months so i'm left with bittersweet memories. Memories that are actually fading. SUMMARY: I'm always going to care for her, and she probably has a 3-6 month window where I'd consider taking her back. After that, there's no going back. I don't wait in hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 DAY 25 NC: Wow oh wow. Whilst not a milestone in itself (like one month) it's pretty damn special to me. Never thought I'd manage to cope but I really am coping. She has tried to reach out now... 2 days ago she spoke to my mum. Whilst it saddens me that someone so close to me is on the phone, I didn't have the urge to grab the phone off my mum. I think reality is finally sinking in with her. I don't feel sorry for her, it was her decision. I think she's trying to re-establish the lines of communication for a possible reconciliation... maybe. One things for sure, I'm not running back, she has to either come to the UK, or pay for me to visit her for any reconciliation. If that doesn't materialise, I'm not pushing for it anymore. I'm definitely in the what I don't know can't hurt me camp right now and that makes me feel very content. As for the new car situation... it's kept me preoccupied for a good week and a half. I finally bought it on Monday, it is the definition of beauty! It's white, got sexy curves and just...!! Who needs a girlfriend when you've got curves like this car ha. So extremely happy with the new car, what a treat! I feel happier with life, content with being single, my confidence and self respect is back, and I see opportunities to improve this further. The first two weeks were definitely the hardest, now I just maintain NC as a matter of course. I'm not looking at her FB, going on MSN or skype, not checking emails. It's almost become natural. I've come to the conclusion that you never fall out of love with your first love, rather you learn to live without them. Mine treated me particularly badly during the final months so i'm left with bittersweet memories. Memories that are actually fading. SUMMARY: I'm always going to care for her, and she probably has a 3-6 month window where I'd consider taking her back. After that, there's no going back. I don't wait in hope. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 good news is2008!!!! (tho i wonder what she said to your mom) Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Post pic of car please. I <3 cars Do you think the car helped you get your confidence back? I've had my eyes on a Honda CR-Z for a while... but I will take driving a friend's Infiniti G35x as fast as I can make it go... if he'd only give me the keys... Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 Duckduckgoose... cars in the UK differ from cars in the US so I'm not sure you'll like it but this is what I bought: http://www.netcarshow.com/volkswagen/2009-scirocco/1600x1200/wallpaper_02.htm Hope you like! IfIKnewThen - I'll send you a private msg tomorrow! Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Nice!! Good to see you doing well mate. Very happy to hear it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jerrica Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 is2008 - my heart goes out to you....I read your posts and I can't explain how much I relate to how you feel. This really is such a hard thing to go through... How long after you broke up did you start NC? Once my ex gets the last of his stuff tomorrow I will have to start NC officially with no ties or reasons for us to contact. I'm scared, and anxious with anticipation. I'm forcing myself to go out tonight, kind of taking the fake it til you make it approach. Also, you said she abused you, I was also abused although not really physically. I think this hurts even more and makes NC harder because we have almost put our self worth in their hands because they put us down so much. without them, we feel like we are nothing. I question if it's even love that we still feel for them? Because love is not supposed to be painful. Maybe we are suffering from low self worth from the abuse and have gotten into this zone of "needing" them to feel good about ourselves. I dunno...either way, nothing but time will heal us... Your story gives me hope that I also can make it that far with NC Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Very pretty car! Do you wax him/her every night before you put the car cover on? I will admit I am not a big fan of European cars in particular. I like all cars in general but my heart is for the Japanese imports... the Mitsubishis, Hondas, Nissans, Toyotas...(none of that Korean car crap though like Kia) I think I will be a Honda driver for life. My Civic stole my heart in September 2001 when I picked her out Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 hi is2008. i know this is your thread, but you once told me i could vent here. i need prayers. the people in my life around me are so stressful to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 PwrOO - Glad to hear from you mate. I hope you're coping well. I'm pretty mixed at the moment. Jerrica - Thank you for taking the time to read my log. It is a very difficult and painful thing to go through. I'm questioning whether I'll ever get over her. I do still love her and miss her terribly. To answer your questions... For the first 1.5 months I was in denial, I chased, begged, pleaded for answers and the like. The following 3 weeks I maintained LC... I couldn't go more than 3 days without reaching out to her, she said it in her own words that I was weak. She enjoyed the chase too. Then, on the 7th March, we had a conversation on the phone and I just realised she's heading in completely the opposite direction to me and I said goodbye and haven't contacted her since. She expected me to call her a week or so after I'm sure, but nearly a month later, I'm still maintaining NC. It is not easy. The first 2.5 weeks were aweful... sleep was disturbed, appetite was non existant, tears etc. The key is to keep busy and your mind occupied. I find myself dwelling first thing in the morning. I try to get up and open the curtains, natural sunlight helps. I still have my bad days. As for the abuse... well that's a key issue. Effectively, the abuser controls our self worth. They will say nice things to us to pick us up and remind us why we're in the relationship but will also put us down or make us insecure too to put us in our place. Take back control.. cut contact. Regain your dignity and slowly your self worth will pick up thus your confidence. I'll get there slowly. You will too. I've had a rough weekend, I think it's because I'm approaching the 1 month NC milestone. Best wishes all. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 wow i really like your new car. sooo pretty! and thank you for being who you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 1 MONTH 1 DAY NC: It's been a while since I properly updated my log and if ever I needed to get it all out, now would be the time. Things have been going pretty badly for me the past few days, the 1 month milestone has hit me very hard. I pine for her like mad, but still manage to find the strength to maintain NC. How I'm doing it, I don't know. The car was a temporary respite from the hurt. I absolutely adore my car, but it simply cannot replace her. I'm wearing my rose tinted glasses as well, every thought of her is positive, I think I need to revisit my list of reasons why I cannot talk to her again. She hasn't tried to make contact recently. My mind sometimes races away with itself with the whys, whos, whats etc. I'm trying to maintain composure but failing. Inside I'm dying, outside, I'm barely managing to put on a front. My work is suffering, my sleep is broken 2-3 months after the breakup, but I have to ride this out. I simply cannot be with someone who will lie to get their own way, and talk to me in such a disrespectful way. If my 2011 plan were on paper, it would be gathering dust now (it's on my PC). Nothing's being achieved. I stupidly joined a dating website. Never in my life have I joined a dating website, and I feel like a piece of meat on show waiting for someone to pass judgment on me. I hate my ex for putting me in this position. I'd never have dreamt of doing it and I hate it. I don't feel ready to date. I'm comparing everyone to my ex and I just feel broken really. The only positive right now is the sun is shining. I feel low, degraded, upset... you name it, I feel it. But what use is it chasing after someone who doesn't want to chase me? I do feel better after getting it all out...might need to read some McGrupp posts later to pick me up. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 amen to that mcgrupp post. i know what you mean about that. i am sorry you're going through this is2008. and ya know, i know you feel like you do..but i think maybe its gotten a wee little worse since you did hear from her. or your mum did. maybe you might have felt like she was reaching out and there may have been that tine smidgen of hope again or at least a real tangible reminder of the pain you are fighting. and there is also the feeling of...how can they stay apart so long? why did they do this? then we get angry because life is supposed to be lived freely, not with a horrible feeling attached to it, we constantly try to ward off. sometimes it helps to be forgiving or think on good things with them. sometimes it helps to despise them. use whatever tool to get you through the day. and yes, it helps to go back to a post like mcgrupps or to read about how others are coming out the other end of this. it's a wound that takes time to heal like any wound does. its an emotional wound so we ride the emotional roller coaster, no doubt. but, time, prayer, and gradually moving away from the memory, will (i believe) get us through. we have our own lives and our own pain, but we are all in this together (so to speak) and here on LS, we will cheer each other on and we WILL rise up from this. maybe its too soon for the dating thing. or if you do, it might help to think of it as just a fun thing. maybe try not to compare and take it so seriously , if you will. look at it as friendship only. but of course tell the females you are just getting out of something and just looking for casual dating for friendship for now. i know how you feel when you say you dont feel like you accomplished anything, and i am sorry you feel this way. i get to feeling like that too. but in retrospect...,maybe your 2011 paper isnt so terribly dusty. you achieved a lot. you got a new car. you went out with friends. you did a scrub on your room. you stopped constantly looking at msn. you got closer to your mum and sister. not so bad for what is really just the beginning of 2011, after a devastating life change. so go you!! as far as sleep, i want you to tell yourself this, when you put your head on a pillow at night. you are a good man...say it. (lol). i am a good man and God will see me through all of this. then believe it, be at some form of peace and let it ride..... congratz on this time of NC. you keep a good log too, for yourself and all who can relate. your car you feel is a temporary respite from pain and i do get that. but also see it as a permanent symbol of the resolve to move forward with a new life. the vehicle of moving forward. the more it is real that they are gone, perhaps the more real the acceptance. anyway just really wanted to say congratz on the month and a day. so yay!! congratz! that too is an accomplishment! Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) IfIKnewThen I just want to give you a hug!! Everything you say is so articulately worded! You are right, I have actually achieved a fair bit since the breakup, I just didn't realise/appreciate. My resolve to not relapse is fairly strong. I point blank refuse to go on MSN/Skype/check a particular email inbox. Even her photo, which is now burnt onto CD is becoming a no no. Recently, I've wanted to pop it into my PC and just have one last look but what's the use? One last look turns into another and another. I don't know how my coping strategy is going to evolve from now on but something needs to change. It's been a challenging time for me and indeed us all and I'm trying to ride this out as best as I can. I really appreciate your advice, and everyone elses too Thank you for congratulating me, we'll both make it through. The thing with McGrupp is he went from borderline suicidal to healed... most of us don't sink that low so it's always reassuring to read about someone making it from the very bottom, right up to the top. Best wishes for the weekend! Edited April 8, 2011 by is2008 Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 aww thank you so much. hugs to you. that's what we are all here for. you are doing all you can and you cant beat yourself up expecting so much more all at once. and you have to keep looking at all you have already done and are doing. and you are doing a good job. by the way i really like your quote signature too: "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell omg how profoundly TRUE that is!!!!!!!!!! i have done that . big mistake. now i know, God willing. not only do we have a habit of looking at what was lost and not what we have as your signature quote says..but we can also look at what we havent done instead of all we have done and appreciate that. youre doing great, even with the bad days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 5 WEEKS NC: 5 weeks to the day and... Houston we have contact! She was tearful, remorseful, but not remorseful enough. She admitted she'd been going through a very tough time... she needed me in her life and was lifeless without me. I finally felt in control, empowered! I didn't hold back, I told her about my new sports car, I told her I was fed up of being mistreated and spoken to like ****. She did apologise, I said I wasn't prepared to be her friend, and I'd only accept her back if she showed proper remorse through her actions not words. Her reply? Oh you're doing so much better without me so I'll leave you to it. My view on it? So be it. If she can't handle the criticism, she isn't really that sorry. If she isn't prepared to fight for me, I don't want her back. Back to NC. I hope this doesn't set me back. One part of me says continue moving forward and apart from her. The other part is now saying it's only a matter of time before she finally realises that she'll have to make amends properly, and will do so. Time will tell. SUMMARY: I feel a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've been dying with anxiety and this breadcrumb has made me feel so good. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 hey is2008! just read your post! i think this is good for you. that she did show signs of remorse, though not straight forward enough or clear cut to you. but i dont think its a matter of her just saying ok i am ready to go back. anyway, i have to make this short. got a lot to do here, but will be back on in a day or 2 to elaborate and update some more. glad some weight has been lifted. it may be an emotional roller coaster but hang on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 And now it hits me hard. Very hard. I'm full of anxiety, panicking, almost to the point of shaking. Through my own mistakes I stumbled on a photo of her and she looks really nice. The euphoric feeling of getting one up on her has diminished so fast it's unreal. It's been replaced by the feeling of loss, so so raw. She just waltzed back into my life, and she's gone again. I emailed her the conditions of reconciliation earlier and I felt good about myself. Subsequently though, I've tried to call her... eek. She didn't pick up. I've even been on the no go MSN account, my recovery is well and truly falling to pieces. I can't even call today day 1 NC... I've tried to get hold of her. I need to get my composure back and recommence NC. I've stated the conditions for return now I've got to stick to my guns. What I don't understand is how two people in love can actually play these games. She clearly wants me back but wants an easy route back into my life. She wants the freedom of single life coupled with a relationship with me. Crazy emotional times right now. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 5 WEEKS NC: 5 weeks to the day and... Houston we have contact! She was tearful, remorseful, but not remorseful enough. She admitted she'd been going through a very tough time... she needed me in her life and was lifeless without me. ok there may be a few blanks to fill in here to get the full picture as to what is going on. so it sounds like (from this disadvantage point) like she is having some issues in life or at home/school whatever and she misses you in her life and is lifeless with you? what specially did she say? or she is going thru the tough time of being without you and needs you in her life? confused. sorry I finally felt in control, empowered! I didn't hold back, I told her about my new sports car, I told her I was fed up of being mistreated and spoken to like ****. ok its good she knows why you havent reached out to her. she really seems to now know you dont want to be treated like crap. She did apologise, I said I wasn't prepared to be her friend, and I'd only accept her back if she showed proper remorse through her actions not words. ok this is straight forward and saying you dont want to be friends. you are telling her you would like to go back but with her treating you in a new way with dignity and respect. but this also tells her point blank you DO want her back. theres no wondering about it for her. just saying. but is ok. nothing wrong with being truthful. some like to be a bit more illusive. but its also good not to play any games. : ) Her reply? Oh you're doing so much better without me so I'll leave you to it. My view on it? So be it. If she can't handle the criticism, she isn't really that sorry. If she isn't prepared to fight for me, I don't want her back. what she said can mean a number of things. Oh you're doing so much better without me so I'll leave you to it. she can see it as you dont want her as much as she may want you. or she could see it that you were healing and she is not wanting a full time thing with you anymore ,so she will let you be. i dont know . but again you were direct. so thats great. and always remember what you say and HOW you say it can take on a different mewaning. its good to be firm..this is a serious matter but also kind so she doesnt misinterupt what you feel. but then again you have told her in so many words you would take her back if only she changed her ways. Back to NC. I hope this doesn't set me back. One part of me says continue moving forward and apart from her. The other part is now saying it's only a matter of time before she finally realises that she'll have to make amends properly, and will do so. this is true. but i really think the distaance is something that may not have bothered her so much when she was younger , but is something she think of now that she is older. again plus she has all that family friend pressure, on her. (just guessing here that this is a factor too) quote: And now it hits me hard. Very hard. I'm full of anxiety, panicking, almost to the point of shaking. Through my own mistakes I stumbled on a photo of her and she looks really nice. The euphoric feeling of getting one up on her has diminished so fast it's unreal. It's been replaced by the feeling of loss, so so raw. you know the other day i came across a video on the internet of my long lost friend. i never saw this video of them before. it was when they were younger and having fun with friends in new orleans. and like a jerk, i watched the video in it's entirety. and it really struck me, and punctured another hole in my heart and spirit. i felt major set back. i thought, now what? i came all this way in life. so, i self talked to myself again and had a good nights sleep. it helped. because i didnt want to revisit day one of pain. but it does happen. but i know, what you mean and this must be real rough because you spoke, heard her voice, felt like you were flying and now feel like you crashed landed. but we are all here to remind you that not only was that who you were with her....but this is who you are here and now. this person on LS. you ARE healing, and ARE strong and she will not break you down to the point you think she will or can!!!! step back into the shoes of moving forward. you told her how you felt: I emailed her the conditions of reconciliation earlier and I felt good about myself. that is good. Subsequently though, I've tried to call her... eek. She didn't pick up. I've even been on the no go MSN account, my recovery is well and truly falling to pieces. it's good you laid this out and yet, she may be feeling she doesnt want to go back into a full time relationship, so any conditions might not compute (to her) this is a very hard predicament and what to me makes it worse (to reconcile) is the distance. i know it wasn't a factor before...but i cant help wondering if it isn't now. at the end of the day, everyone kinda really wants to know, where their relationship will end up. did you two ever decide how it could end up? who would move, what would happen? do her parents want her closer to home? would you move to her? i know some people just up and leave and go to live in other countries, but its not easy for all one thing for sure, she is really feeling the effects now of losing her best friend. we do become best friends with our loves. or so we should... ps. so sorry for the lengthy post. i wish i could help more. maybe if i understood more. but basically the ball is in her court now. you are clear that you cant be friends, and you have standards as to how you need to be treated for it to work and all of that makes perfect sense. and is honest. 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IfiKnewThen Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 yikes!! typo: like she is having some issues in life or at home/school whatever and she misses you in her life and is lifeless with you? what specially did she say? i meant to say....so is it that she is having issues in life or at home/school/whatever and she misses you in her life and is lifeless without you? what specifically did she say. my and my typos Link to post Share on other sites
Author is2008 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 thank you so much for your interpretation of the conversation! i really appreciate it. now i've got a dilemma.... last night i got talking to a new girl...completely new to my life. she was everything i wanted my ex to be! she's kind, caring, considerate, honest. we were talking for ages and ages last night, the conversation just flowed. it was the same sort of feeling when i met my ex 6.5 years ago! the only thing that wasn't there, was the spark. the reason being, i'm caught up on my ex, d'oh! had my ex never been on the scene, that butterfly feeling almost certainly would be there but it goes back to my signature "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us." I do consider this an open door because she's very keen, and so am I, but I just wish I'd have met her when I was fully healed. So I'm stuck... The other thing is, I emailed my ex this morning (subsequent to yesterday's long email) to say that I was now tired of being d i c k e d around and that I wasn't prepared to wait for her til she decided what she wanted, doing her own thing in the meantime. I gave her an ultimatum, 48 hours to decide and clean up the mess she's made or never. I think the reason I did email her was because of this new girl. Either my ex wants a relationship with me right now or she's letting me go to find someone new. The ball is definitely in her court now. Even if it doesn't work out with this new girl, I shouldn't be in a situation anyway where my ex basically dictates to me when she'll turn back up into my life, whilst she lives a carefree life in the meantime. Relationships are about compromise, now wandering off when the other partner disapproves of your actions. So emotionally I'm a wreck and at a crossroads. Do I choose a good woman (new girl) or do I stick with the girl I truly love? Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Holy Moses, son of the desert.... There's a few things I want to say but I've got to get on a plane for my trip to Europe soon so forgive me for being short. Firstly, we've all been on this board enough to see how often an ex comes back throwing out crumbs when they are going through a rough patch. Be very cautious that she doesn't flake out like she has multiple times before. You're doing so well! New car and I can tell from the way your expressing yourself how you've got your focus on your life! Good on you buddy! I can totally relate to not feeling that spark when you meet a new girl. It's hard not to compare or to try and look for the feelings you had with your ex when you meet someone new. But I didn't have those kind of feelings when I first met my ex so I've got to try not to look for how I felt about my ex with any new girls I meet. Not sure if i made much sense there... My honest opinion? See where things with this new girl goes. You don't have to jump right into a relationship, just hang out a bit. But do yourself a huge favor and just see where it goes. Don't dismiss it out of hand. Easy for me to say I suppose. Even if it's not this new girl, keep yourself open to the idea that you'll meet someone great one day. Link to post Share on other sites
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