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A move towards finality, a little uncertainty


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just_some_guy

Have some court things to do today, which brings the divorce closer to final. It has been dragging along without much progress for months. As it gets closer to being done, I have to admit, I feel some uncertainty about it all. I still care about her, want her to be alright. I miss the comfortable house, the living together and companionship. At the same time, the craziness I left is still ever present. The place is still stuffed with food enough to feed an army, emotional and situational manipulation still ongoing and I know, I have to put that to an end. It is not a healthy place for me. The suicide attempt put all the remaining nails into that coffin, but glad she seems to be getting the help she needs. Will still miss the good parts though, no doubt about that.

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I certainly understand that. The change from constant companionship and having a "friend" (even if it wasn't always friendly or sane) to being alone a lot with your thoughts, is very harsh, difficult and painful.

 

One thing I did that helped a LOT (decided to do this one night after dropping off the kids when she was all dolled up for the OM and was being particularly nice) was to write up a list of all the things about her that drove me crazy and it was a really long list. Whenever I get feeling wistful or lonely, I take a look at the list, and immediately feel better.

 

I have more fun with my kids (even though I get less time with them), am much less stressed, am pursuing hobbies that I always loved that I had to give up at her request and am even finding new hobbies that are great. And, I'm meeting new people, and forming new relationships.

 

Life is a wonderful thing and it's nice to be enjoying it again. :)

 

Good luck!!

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just_some_guy

Looks like we have an agreement and can move forward.

 

I have a lot of work to do with myself, to improve and heal emotionally, so that I am no longer a beacon for troubled women.

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Looks like we have an agreement and can move forward.

 

I have a lot of work to do with myself, to improve and heal emotionally, so that I am no longer a beacon for troubled women.

 

I can relate to that. Be a kick in the teeth to end up with a man even more narcissistic than my exes.

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