Kaden22 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Okay I am aware that many of your guys and girls have heard of the No Contact rule. If you haven't then where have you been? Anyway, based on my research of personal issues with break ups I have found that getting things off your chest and really expressing your true feelings about your ex. Going No Contact right away is not productive in my opinion. Reason why I say this is because there are so many unanswered questions. In the initial break up sure a break could be necessary. However you still have those unanswered questions....it's called closure. If you broke up weeks or days ago and still find yourself down in the pits hoping like hell that your ex would contact you then it is up to you to break your pride and go ahead and face your demons. Yes it's going to hurt like hell after you find out that they have actually moved on which would put you right back at square on...and that's okay. The reason for "No Contact" is for you to regain your composure and dignity. However everyone has their own reasons why they impliment no contact whether it be to make the ex miss them, or to show them that you don't need them, or to make them jealous by getting word out that you've met someone else while knowing you still want your ex back. Yes breaking up with someone you truly love is very difficult and is one of the many lessons we as humans must embrace and grow from which is to teach us something about ourselves that we need to improve or work on. In any event, if you are hurting as the days go by then or weeks or months then you should go ahead and bite the dust just one last time. Get these emotions off your chest and express how you really feel about your ex. Yes, the ex would more than likely think that they have won (which is not a game). They would begin to feel empowered and feel a sens of control. They would look at you as weak and probably say unpleasant things to you which all of the above would hurt like hell....I know and feel your pain people. By breaking no contact (just once) is for you to clear away of those emotions and how you truly feel about the ex so that you can at least tell yourself "I have truly done all I could have done". Yes if you do this then you did try. You pleaded and confessed your love for them and that you can do no more. This option is what frightens people because they are afraid of the rejection of what they might learn and that's okay. It's okay to have went months without contact then to find out that you are back at square one. Just do this one time no more than that. It's not about your ex at this point, it's about you healing from with inside. I have been at months without contact with my ex but broke down and made contact with her for. Those long weeks and months were hard so I had to make contact and get all of my feelings off my chest. After I done this, sure, she got big headed and actually started laughing as I was professing my love for her and that was perfectly okay. It wasn't for her but for me. I do not consider myself at square one for some strange reason. I'm sure it is because I know from within that I have done my best to express my feelings for her. I got it all out...didn't hold back any punches. I told her I missed her intimacy, going to the movies, hanging out together, playing pool, going to the movies. I let it all out. I wasn't expecting her to come back with bells and whistles of course. I did it for me so I could release those sad emotions. So in my opinion, I think breaking no contact rule just once is good if you feel you are stuck with replaying memories. Now I truly feel better about the break up. I would rather go one day of feeling relief of sadness by breaking no contact rule versus going months of keeping my pride, hoping she would contact me first and be miserable all the dang time. Face your fears of rejection but do it just once and let it all out. Afterwards, then impliment no contact all over again but this time you would feel empowered because you have gotten your true feelings out. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 its all well and good,but imagine breaking NC then getting no response. None whatsoever Nada. Thats what happened in my case,no its fruitless to Berak NC beause most likely the other person doesnt want to hear from you. Unless LS has members who have really nice and decent dumpers,which is rare. I say no chance,dont break it,walk away with dignity or whatever you have left Link to post Share on other sites
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