Really Trying Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Last night my wife was acting mad at me, I asked "what was wrong"? She did not respond. I said "are you mad at me?" She said "how does it feel"? "What?", I replied. She said "how does it feel, you are always mad at me. You have been mad at me for 90% of our marriage". We have been married for 9.5 years we are both 35 years old, we have 2 kids. I love her so much and my world revolves around her. I have been trying to build up her self esteem and be positive. I think we are stuck in a cycle, she thinks I am mad at her and gets mad at me, the I get mad. She is the one that always seems to be mad and that triggers me to get mad. She said not to worry, she soon will not care what I think and everything will be fine. What can we do to break this cycle? I asked her just to come give me a hug when she thinks I am mad at her so she will know that I am not. I don't know what else to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Your wife is obviously feeling insecure about the marriage, your feelings and perhaps even her own feelings of inadequacy. It may take more than a hug to make it better. It could be a depression problem, female hormonal shift, a mid life realization or any other number of things causing her to feel this way. Maybe she needs a new focus or even a career change. Maybe the kids are driving her nuts. All these things play a part in someone feeling like life is less than what they wanted out of it. Maybe a good physical, some long conversation and a whole lot of love....can help you to pinpoint the problem and hopefully correct it. Has she always felt this way....or is this a new thing? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Go to a counsellor. An outside observer will be able to explain to you both what you do that gives the other person the impression that you're mad and how to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
Really Trying Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 With her saying 90% I guess she has always thought that, it's news to me. She is on antidepresents now, maybe they are the wrong ones? I am going to talk to her more today and suggest some counselling and a revisit to the doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Please let us know what you find out. We are nosey AND lovable......LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 hmm.. she thinks you're mad at her all the time? are you irritable? are you impatient? are you under a lot of stress? if she asks you a question do you answer her impatiently? Just wondering if it could be the way you communicate. Maybe it's something you don't realize you're doing. I agree with the poster above who said a counselor may be able to see what's happening that is causing this misunderstanding. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 i agree with the above Link to post Share on other sites
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