Author smile95 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Well that was before I did some research and asked for help from some people to figure out what I really wanted and to figure out what was really important to me. People can change their minds and change their views after digging. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 That was two weeks ago. At least take more to make sure these feelings actually last. When you get married it should be with the intention of things lasting. He shouldn't be a prop to use because your clock is ticking. That would not be fair to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Good God! I am not marrying him tomorrow! I am just thinking about having dinner with the man to see how I feel! I am sorry that I had some wake up moments in a month period...I did not know that there was an official timeline of how long it was suppoed to take to figure out what you want in life... Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 For me, the challenge will be getting him out of the friend zone. It is a mind thing I am finding. I just have to change the way I view him. I was friends with my bf for eight months before we got together. At first it was kind of weird; he suddenly seemed unfamiliar, and I found it difficult to reconcile my mental image of the man who had been my friend with man I was kissing. I got very nervous and wondered if I was doing the right thing. My feelings settled down pretty quickly though, and I found that I felt unbelievably comfortable and happy with him. Now I couldn't imagine us being just friends; he feels like my boyfriend Link to post Share on other sites
Green_eyes Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 We know each other well and share a lot. I am going to give it a shot! Friendship is a great foundation and he has great qualities I am looking for. You are right, if it does not work out...then it does not, but at least I know and can say I tried and stop wondering.... I've been away from the thread for a few days - but it was nice to come back and read this. I really wish you all the very best. Go with your decision, and stick with it. However, (much as I hate to admit it - I'm a softy at heart) Woggle does have a point - Don't rush into anything, take your time and get to know the guy. You probably think you know him pretty well already - but knowing someone as a friend is very different to knowing them as a lover. However, I get the impression that you know that already. Like I said, get to know each other, spend time together and see what develops. From what you have said, he sounds like a really nice guy - but also bear in mind that marriage isn't an easy thing. Spending the rest of your life with someone isn't something to be taken lightly and certainly isn't something to be rushed into. If it doesn't work out, just remember that you have loads of time. As someone said to me recently (and you are only a little younger than me), people fall in love in their 40s, 50s, 60s and even 70s - and so there is plenty of time if it doesn't work out. Stop and think about that for a second - it took me a while to digest (my self-esteem is a little low), but it is actually true. To cut to the chase (sorry for the waffle) - go with it, get to know him even better than you do already and see what comes of it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Thanks Green Eyes, I will keep you posted! There is no reason to not try I realized. If it does not work out, it may be awkaward a little, but I need to find out why my mind always goes back there.... Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My mind always goes back to the chocolate isle at Target. Then I physically follow. I need to be chained to a register or something But yeah, if your mind keeps wandering there you need to find out why. Only way to do it might be to open the Publisher's Clearing House envelope and see if you're a winner! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 So we went out Sat night and had fun! He was so kind and thoughtful...I certainly did not think, "Wow I want to marry him", but I did think, "I would like to do this again". So that is good right? Link to post Share on other sites
Green_eyes Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 That's very good. If you had have thought "Wow! I want to marry him", that's not so good! One step at a time. Fingers crossed for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Share Posted March 10, 2011 That is probably true...What exactly should I feel after one date? I have been out of this dating scene so long!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Green_eyes Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Join the club! After one date, just wanting to see the guy again, and go out for a second date is enough. Others would probably disagree, but love at first sight is a myth. Lust or infatuation is one thing - but you don't fall in love with somebody after one date. Give it time, keep seeing each other as long as you want to and see what develops. Sorry I can't offer anything really concrete - I guess there is no magic formula. If I had discovered it, I wouldn't be single Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 That is probably true...What exactly should I feel after one date? I have been out of this dating scene so long!!! The urge to kiss him? Actually, that's probably not fair.. Honestly, at the end of the next date, just kiss him. If you feel nothing but a pair of lips touching, then it's probably not going to work out. If on the other hand you feel *something* (Doesn't have to me OMG, BEST KISS EVER!!!.. just a sense, something, a buzz, a tingle.. something that makes you want to go again.) Easiest way to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Neowulf..I NEVER kiss anyone on a first date and no I did not have the urge. I actually cannot remember having the "urge" to kiss anyone on a first date. Kinda hard to just kiss someone you have been in an office setting with for the last 5 yrs... Green Eyes: You are right...One time I felt the love at first site feeling and it ended up a 5 yr DISASTER only about sex!!!! I will just go out again and see how it goes! Not going to force feelings, but I know myself enough to know that I am a slow mover and need to give it a chance for feelings to grow. Link to post Share on other sites
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