lost_in_chgo Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Hey Fly, Great to hear the followup. Especially reviewing this thread after a year and seeing the various advice. And mandrews comment about the potential there. Keep up the great work. You have my best wishes that it goes on for a long long time. Link to post Share on other sites
firefly_76 Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Although the stressful times are over I have decided to at least update this thread on a monthly basis. I know when I was going through a tough time with someone I really loved, I looked for threads where things turned out alright - you know, to give me hope. So here I go. We are still together. In total, (less the three months we were seperated) we have been together for almost a year and a half now. Still feels like yesterday when we first met. The nature of the relationship is beginning to change. Very recently (in the last 3 weeks), she has been spending much more physical time with me, and much more time on the phone with me as well. Also our conversations are becoming much more intimate of late, and she is beginning to tell me things of her past and deep secrets and feelings that are quite revealing. She is very emotional and sensitive lately as well. I believe this to be related to her phase of opening up to me. I think we are moving on to a time of intimate emotional bonding. Oddly, the sex has diminished drastically as soon as she has begun being very needy with me. However she needs much more than usual amount of quiet time and cuddling, just being held lately. I think she's really nervous of opening up to me. When she looks at me I feel more connected to her lately as I feel that I've been trusted with some very personal information, making herself really emotionally vulnerable to me. Knowing her as I do, it actually surprises me that she is doing this as she likes to usually keep some safe emotional distance so she can have a sort of 'buffer', but she is kinda giving that up. I do my best to listen and be there physically for her. I don't say much, just usually let her talk. I'm careful to keep us doing separate things, like sports and time with friends so as not to overload on each other. I really feel good about where things are headed. She remarked that she is telling me more now than anyone has ever known, so to PLEASE be aware of that. What are the opinions here? I feel on top of the world, as I'm reading this time as a period of deep bonding (not bondage for all you gutter minds !) Ladies and men's opinions welcome... am I reading this time correctly and responding appropriately? I want to do this right since it's the first time I've really been this honest and open with anyone else... I'm kind of in uncharted territory here... LOL. Any comments? Link to post Share on other sites
firefly_76 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 I do have news though. Status quo. We are still close, getting on to two years now (less the 3 months). Everything is going well, and we have just bought a house together. I don't know if I've ever mentionned but we each have one child, so getting everyone peacefully under one roof may be a challenge. Our relationship is awesome. We are always doing fun stuff together, and she got help to manage her stress. Things are really moving along. Now I think that I may be the problem... You see, there is an unexpected development. I seem to be getting cold feet at the thought of moving in together. I know it's silly, considering how this thread was started... but oddly enough I'm the one who is starting to feel a little smothered. I think it's because I've gotten used to having my own place and time for myself... that I feel that my life will change when I move in with her... like she'll expect it all to be her and I time. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Shandy Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 I think the push and pull thing is very natural in relationships. When she broke up with you and was unsure about the relationship, you want to try harder. Now, I'm guessing she is the more affectionate one and it makes you want to pull away a bit? I experience the same thing in my relationship. As long as she has her own life outside of you, I think you will still get your space. It's when she depends on you for all her needs that you will run into trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
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